Holiday blues

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As you know the holidays are approaching and that means that the majority of my friends will be gathering with their families. I, meanwhile, do not seem to connect or get along with most of my family.

While I have friends who don't connect with their families, I notice that they get invited over for dinner during special affairs regardless. When it comes to me, I have family who will not have anything to do with me because they recognize that something is wrong. In fact, when I lived a few miles away, they did not invite me over in fear that I would make a scene in front of their girls and be a bad influence?


Now back to my friends: One of them recently got married and is learning to respect the boundaries of others along with putting her foot down when they say no. I know she and her husband are going to her father's place and I have been over there before and was complained about for dominating the conversation behind my back. She had wanted to invite me another told me about inviting me to a cook-out before talking to her dad. He told her that I could come over another time due to the talking because of a certain situation. I wanted to go over this year and she said that she was not sure if I could this time either.I am just worried that if she goes over there with her husband that I will be alone again. I feel like she doesn't seem to understand my situation and often runs off thinking about herself and her husband.

Maybe I am thinking about myself too but this is a situation that is very sad.


Does anyone else have this problem too?

While I Aunt and Uncle know that I have Autism, they seem to act like I have the plague and don't want me around for that. I used to be really close with one of their children until she turned 11. That was because I happened to have a meltdown at a party for her and my sister due to them springing things on me last minute. So ever since, she has seemed to act cold with me and ignore me in public.

While I would love to be able to sit down with my family and have a reasonable holiday meal (meaning not filled with fighting or something resembling the Jerry Springer Show), that isn't even remotely possible, so I have found many other ways of filling that void. Here are some of them.

A.) Start your own holiday get together inviting whomever you want. (Usually you need to do this in advance of a few weeks for bigger holidays.)

B.) Find a local charity that is helping others and donate some time there on that day so you are not alone.

C.) Sit around your place in your boxers (what ever you find comfortable) and enjoy the fact that you don't need to be stressed out over the whole social situation thing, whilst having a drink and watching whatever.

D.) Have your own post-holiday bash with friends/family that couldn't make it for whatever reason on the actual holiday. There are no rules stating that a holiday get together has to happen on a holiday date.

E.) Go out and do something special for yourself. Such as buying something for yourself or going to a movie, etc.

When it comes to my family...

My immediate is Jerry Springerville USA.


My extended with my aunt and uncle it seems to be more about sizing each other up to see who is smarter and better than everyone else because they have big piles of money and better education in some of the best schools.

Ok, you win you have the worst family ever.

I think you will find that if you "move on" from it and start making your own plans for you rather than worrying about them, you won't feel so sad about it. So why not discuss and or plan out what you are going to do instead?


Edited to add: I am in the process of packing for a move to a different place thankfully, and I don't have the time or stuff unpacked to do what I would normally do which is to make a meal and invite everyone over, so this year is a bust for thanksgiving the way I normally have it. Just means I will do something extra special for Christmas.

I have moved on when it comes to my parents and one of my sisters who is really icky to be around. However, my aunt and uncle did some really major damage in 2002-2003. This is while I lived up there, they ignored me because I yelled at my cousin at the mall for acting like I was dead to her and her sister. I was mad because my cousin pulled a 180 with me where she was a friend one minute and an enemy and someone who thought she was more important and too good to talk to me the next. So they refused to have me around for calling her a "b***h" due to the sudden change like that. Yet, they walked away like nothing had happened and did not call me out on it either. Because of their bitterness and fear of me, I was not allowed to go over to their house. They also did not bother to call me up to see how I was doing, while completely ignoring me in church. Rather than help me, they seemed to dump me off by wanting to turn me to the state while they went on with their busy lives.

So while I have pretty much moved on, it's bubbling up 10 years later because they were not only bullies by omission but also abusive by form of neglect.