How to become sociable
I thought that this was a good link
How to Become Socialble 9 Steps
Although, when I read about how shy people often think that others are watching them ready to jump in with criticism it made me think that having an abusive mother who always criticized me was probably the main cause of this. It's hard to trust other human beings when you can't trust your own mother not to tear you down.
That thing about having to invite other people to do things rather than waiting for the phone to ring is a confusing thing for me too because I am ALWAYS doing the asking. It makes me think, well no one wants to bother returning the favour, so why should I bother in the first place.
Aparently there is good in humans. Lets end on that .
Yes the be positive bit really stood out to me to.
Making your life sound positive will instantly spark peoples' interest, and they will want to hear more about you.
This is definately something I need to improve about the way I talk to people.
This one is difficult for me too, but I think it is important
I find it really difficult not to ramble because I don't know what to say and I know that people don't think I'm interested in them because I know alot of people, but I don't really know much about them. It's hard to get the balance between not prying and asking too much and showing the appropriate amount of interest.
I like this link on the same wiki
Being Sociable at a Party
I wish I knew people that behaved like this. A friend like that would be lovely.
Oh that is so me. I like to tell people things and I know afterwards that I talked too much. I feel like I know more than other people though and it's hard to contain all that knowledge. But I also know that people don't like a know-it-all because it makes them feel bad about themselves, they maybe think I'm deliberately trying to put them down.
Having more empathy goes a long way.Such as in a store and at the register you genuinely ask the cashier/bagger how they are doing.We get so hung up on ourselves at times that we often fail to think of others after our needs have been met.Have a smile ready when you go out in public and remember that you are outside,so enjoy yourself,slow down if you can,interact with others.I promise it won't hurt you.
That thing about having to invite other people to do things rather than waiting for the phone to ring is a confusing thing for me too because I am ALWAYS doing the asking. It makes me think, well no one wants to bother returning the favour, so why should I bother in the first place.
People are lazy. And unimaginative. And lazy. This is why everyone loves the person who Can be bothered to call and organise stuff. Unless you are someone who is super annoying (do people frequently come up with excuses why they can't come out and play?), your friends are likely depending on you to get them organised and having a good time.
I'm one of those people who doesn't go out 9 times out of 10 but I always want to be asked. It's annoying as hell for the other people - I am only just starting to realise this!
So don't take it personally that people don't call and ask you, they probably just don't know how to go about doing that or feel really awkward about it and are really grateful to have you in their life to do that instead.
I agree, though "not negative" seems just as good. I tend to distrust people whose attitudes seem too good to be true, but on the other end of the scale I tend to shut people out if they approach me wanting to pull me into their bad mood and anger towards others.
People are lazy. And unimaginative. And lazy. This is why everyone loves the person who Can be bothered to call and organise stuff. Unless you are someone who is super annoying (do people frequently come up with excuses why they can't come out and play?), your friends are likely depending on you to get them organised and having a good time.
I'm one of those people who doesn't go out 9 times out of 10 but I always want to be asked. It's annoying as hell for the other people - I am only just starting to realise this!
So don't take it personally that people don't call and ask you, they probably just don't know how to go about doing that or feel really awkward about it and are really grateful to have you in their life to do that instead.[/quote]
Interesting comment. Yes, people do accept my invitations. I guess that means they do want to hang out with me. I guess I have fallen into the role of organizer without meaning to.