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Bob was walking into the SOS brigade clubroom but then...

He was stopped by a furious old man wearing an impeccably tailored dinner jacket composed of individual saffron stamens, , pine thrush egg shell and softly glowing silken web spun from delicate glass spiders that mended every fray or tear. Bob was interrupted from marvelling at the strange mans jacket when the old man grabbed him forcefully by his arm and thrust a meticulously wrapped package into his hands. placing his hands into his curious jacket the old man said.....

I was trying to resurrect a thread that I was enjoying called loland 2. it was started by another member for anime or something but no one used it. however it seemed like a few people had an interest in the developing story that was divergent from the original so I thought I would quote the posts that we had started and start again without hijacking another members idea

The ties indignantly and swiftly tied themselves back together.

So Bob decided to........

Sylkat

seek the advice of the only person he knew that might be able help with this most puzzling turn of events. He tucked the package into the pocket of his sensible trousers and then rode his sensible bicycle to the address of the most sensible person he knew, His sisters friend Anna. She was after all very good at cryptic crossword puzzles and made the most pleasant tea. He then knocked upon her very sensible door........

But, most unfortunately, the Thuggee hiding in the bushes beside her door attacked.

Bob managed to break free, but the crazed, bloodthirsty cultist/assassin/wild-eyed nutcase chased him down the street, screeching ancient curses, and waving an unnecessarily huge scimitar.

So, then Bob decided to.......


Sylkat

....pluck a chicken and pimp it out, so he could live a life of luxury on immoral earnings.

However....

He couldn't find a chicken anywhere, at least not one that still had its feathers. So he decided to make the journey back to Anna's house instead. He'd run halfway down the street, after all, so he was sure that the Thuggee had lost interest and left. Bob ventured back to the sensible house with the package still in his pocket. He knocked on the door again and was relieved when it slowly cracked open...

And there, before him stood a stunning young chicken!

'How would you like to make some easy money, babe?', asked Bob.

The chicken (Mildred), turned him in to the police for pandering, and he was arrested.

His crime is so disgusting that the judge will not grant bail, so Bob awaits trial sitting in a small, cold, sad cell.

Most unfortunately for Bob,the cell next to his is occupied by a screeching, howling, crazed, bloodthirsty cultist/ assassin/ wild-eyed nutcase who was arrested for waving an unnecessarily huge scimitar and attempting to evade arrest.

And also for trying to do some rather arbitrary human sacrificing for the glory of the Goddess Kali.

Sylkat

Just at that moment there was the sound of footsteps coming along the corridor, the distinct sound of jangling keys and then the cell door flew open.

SURPRISE SURPRISE!! !

Cilla Black entered the cell, it was 7:30 in the morning and she was still half cut from the night before.

Bob, shocked by this, stammered "Miss Black, how long have you been working for the prison system? Oh, and don't you just look stunning in that uniform!"


Correctional Officer Black, not realizing he was sincere, growled "Drop and give me five, Smart-Mouth!"


Bob, hurt, whimpered "..........


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"Miss Black, you are scaring me!"

"That is OFFICER Black to you, prisoner!", she snarled.


At that point Bob knew he was in real trouble, so he.......


Sylkat

Farted with fright before wafting it in the general direction of the....

Aromatherapy office next door.

The people in the waiting room fainted, except for Tarquinius Malloy, Esq., who had a sinus infection, and could not understand what was happening.


When the aroma seeped into her office, the Aromatherapist fled through the secret back door, and her patient threw up.

Bob began to awaken, on the cold gray stone floor of the jail, but.......


Sylkat