I believe my son may have HFA

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We are currently pursuing a diagnosis. I would be interested to hear from other people in this situation or who were diagnosed as children.

The reasons we have for thinking this are:

1. Formalised play - used to spend hours lining up toy cars in patterns or against objects, or forming grids.
2. Huge attention span, gets hooked in, and will not stop for food or toilet breaks. Artwork often highly intricate, taking days to complete.
3. Social difficulties.
4. Routine, melts down if offered a school dinner rather than a pack lunch.
5. Repeats words under breath.
6. Apparent literal thought - eg. "Would you like to wipe the table?" "No thank you daddy" - said politely.
7. Hates school and large group activities. Never interested in playground fads.
8. Loves adults and one on one.
9. Appears in own world.
10. Melts down in Ikea (bright lights, lots of people). Younger two children are fine. I find it hard there too.
11. When younger, would strike anyone who approached his face, eg. putting in car seat, or another child on a climbing frame.
12. Appears to do poorly in school, yet clearly very bright. Some of the things he says are beyond surprising.
13. Very interested in certain things (currently space and minecraft).
14. Occasionally mistakes people for other people, eg a random blonde lady for mummy.
15. Does not appear to know who the other people are in his class.
16. Hates transitioning between activities.
17. Great difficulty following spoken instructions.
18. Feels face with hands to check expression.
19. Loves squishy textures, pouring and mixing.
20. Follows rules, and becomes very upset if others don't. One time we saw someone driving with broken tail lights. We had to follow them till they stopped and tell them.

He is 7 years old.

I would really appreciate other perspectives on this.

Last edited by superluminary on 19 Dec 2013, 7:44 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Do you mean parents or those diagnosed with HFA?

Both please.

For parental opinion you can copy your original post in the Parental Discussion forum as well...

I was finally diagnosed with a form of HFA late at age 16. Among noticeable sensory behaviors as toddler, I had developmental delays in motor skills and language.

If you mean about your son, I don't know.

My opinion only, but he could be.
I am, and I strongly believe my son is, even though he seems to do OK socially. He is 12. He is always either making noise, singing, jumping around, making silly noises, or getting depressed and feeling victimized. I too will be considering diagnosis for him at some time.

From your list, I'd say the following are fairly indicative :
1.,2.,3.,4.,6.,7.,8.,9.,10.,13.,16.,17.

The other things might also be part of it, but less specifically indicative.
Autistics vary a lot.

One thing they test for is pretend play. In psychology, it has been shown that autistic children tend not to pretend play, so he might do what you described, he might like cars, and play with them, but not in the way other boys do - which is pretend they are moving along pretend roads, for example. I never pretended my doll was a baby. I just dressed her once or twice because I was curious and thought the fabrics were pretty, but lost interest in her after that. My son never even liked cars.

Is your son interested in maths? It does not necessarily mean anything, but you might be interested in a TEDx Talk by Simon Baron-Cohen which I think came out a few months ago, about a possible link they are investigating between autism, maths and testosterone:

http://www.tedxkingscollegelondon.com/s ... d-science/

Your son sounds much like my oldest son (he's 6 years old), and myself.
I'm sure we both have HFA, be it Asperger's or something else on the spectrum. It's true that is varies in each individual. His interests are in technical and scientific reasoning, he wants to know how everything works, and devotes most of his time in learning about electricity. Mine are in psychology and human rights, and the arts.
We are also in the process of getting a diagnosis, both for myself and my oldest son.

I think you're doing a great thing by noticing his differences respectfully, and seeking a diagnosis. Getting him help with whatever sensory issues he has, and helping him find ways to thrive within the educational system, in social environments, and helping him hone the skills he has will be very good for him, and your family.

I think I'll be relieved to finally get the legitimate diagnosis for both of us. Learning all that I have so far about autism has greatly helped me in understanding myself and my son.
I've also learned that when researching this, it helps greatly to read the perspectives from those with autism. How they interpret their struggles, how we perceive things differently, and what we benefit from with our differences. Reading the medical articles as your only source of reference can be quite harsh and depressing with the way they describe everything.

It seems like he could be HFA to me. When did he start talking? Does he show any leadership traits? If he demonstrates leadership traits and other kids willingly follow his lead, he might just be a kid with a lot of sensory issues. In some ways, raising this kid will be easier than other types of kids because likely he will believe you and will follow your clear rules. Social difficulties will sometimes make life hard for both of you. Check out Jessica Kingsley Publishing for books about social rules. I was lucky to have a mother who explained to me what I did wrong and why without anger.
I would say it is highly highly likely he has prosopagnosia, something that makes social life and watching shows and movies difficult (I'm always asking my husband (was that the good guy? was that the bad guy? was that the same girl we saw earlier?)

Thank you BlackSabre7. I've never seen him engage in pretend play. He does like to chase his little brother around while making make bomb sounds. He draws mazes, really detailed ones which take him days to complete. He sometimes builds things out of lego. He might make a boat and try to make it float, but not make a pretend world or anything.

I'll check out the maths link.

Thanks Fondoftrees. I'll be interested to see what comes back. He's very good at acting NT when it's just him and an adult one on one in a quiet place, such as an evaluation. Being in this forum has been eye opening for me too, it's nice to not be the odd one out.

Best of luck with your diagnosis.

Hi Lelia, I get that all the time too. My wife likes to watch strictly come dancing, and they change their clothes and hair with every single dance! Half the time I have zero clue who is who. My son appears to be the same.

He doesn't seem to show any leadership skill unfortunately. He is quite easily led. He started talking at around 1. His first word was Taxi.

I'll check out those books. He seems to respond well when I spell out the rules of society to him. I pretty much had to infer social rules via the medium of 80s TV. I want him to have a better foundation.

From your description of your son it does sound very plausible that he could have ASD.

He sounds a lot like my son who is now 10 and was diagnosed at 5. Even down to the mazes.

I would say my son is similar in numbers: 1 (when younger), 2, 3, 4, 5 (only now he's older), 6, 7, 8, 9 (when younger), 10 (we don't go anymore), 12, 13, 14 (he "loses" me in public all the time even when I'm right next to him), 15 (he knows their names but says he feels embarrassed saying them), 16, 17. So yeah, a lot are similar. `

My advice would be (and what I did) to read about what typically helps children with ASD and try some things out in areas where your son struggles. You sound lovely so probably do lots of it instinctively. A big thing that helped which I didn't think he needed as he appears articulate, was to put visual reminders up for him. It felt like I was going backwards with him but but visual aids really help him know where he is and adds a level of security that nothing else seems to do. They are not complicated either, things like printing out his school schedule for the year and highlighting the bits that relate to him and pinning it under his calendar have helped reduced the anxiety about not knowing what's going on.

Does your son have/need any help at school?

Thanks Purplefeet. Those are good tips about printing out his schedule. He used to have a calendar, but we stole it off him, as we didn't think he needed it, but now I think about it he did seem to enjoy crossing off days. Our kids sound quite similar.

He does need help at school, but has just had his one on one hours cut because his literacy is improving. We're in a waiting list for an HFA stage 2 assessment, but it could be 8 months before we are seen. Did you find any shortcuts through the maze?

Also I notice you have a diagnosis, how did you go about that? When I've asked I've been told that adults are rarely diagnosed in the UK.

Whatever helps the anxiety is good in my opinion. I don't laminate anything(!) or timetable much at home but school has a lot of changes so it's best if he knows what's going on (one of us has to after all!). School is quite good as they always write up the day's timetable on the whiteboard which is really helpful. It's such a small thing but makes a huge difference.

My son got diagnosed formally as his anxiety reached epic proportions when he started school. Major meltdowns seem to chivvy everyone along I have found. 8 months is a long time to wait. Have you spoken to anyone at school? Has he had speech therapy? They are useful at pinpointing communication needs (pragmatic language difficulties, etc). By 7 it is usual to have friends, does he? You could bring that up as a social need. My son has a statement but not for his academic ability as such, but to support him to access education due to social and communication problems (i.e. evidence from speech therapists, not doctors).

I am writing too much, sorry.

I went private for my assessment and diagnosis. I am sure my GP would not have entertained the possibility for a second. So far I am able to have some adjustments for my studying so it's been worth it already. And I finally have permission to give myself a break! I am still bad at the things I was before though at least I know why now.

That's a good idea. I wonder if my son's school does that.

No, it's really interesting. My son doesn't have meltdowns at school, he withdraws and goes quiet. He has a few friends, though he's very much a follower. There is one other boy he likes who I think may also have HFA. His speech therapy assessment brought up social difficulties and processing delay.

That sounds like an interesting route. It would only be for my own satisfaction, and also to support my son's diagnosis if we can show family history.

My understanding was that autistics are more likely to talk late. Mum says I said bye-bye from 9 months, and I have been diagnosed as autistic(2e). Your son spoke very early.
Look up 2e. Do you think this might be your son?