Now here's some sh**

Post Reply New Topic

My son who hated me is back home, everything is ok in my life. BUT STILL I want to kill myself. WHAT THE f**k! I know, right? I'm not going to, but I want to. I think about it so much, Anybody else deal with this?

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

Various illnesses, such as depression, can warp your thoughts and make you want to kill yourself even when you don't want to (if that makes sense). Do you think you might have depression?

I go through periods where I say, "Why bother?" Seriously. I just kind of walk back and forth from the living room to the bathroom with tears in my eyes. I don't know why I keep myself alive. There's a BNSF train track across the street from me. I can just lie down on it and wait for the next train. I either get overwhelmed or disgusted sometimes and I just want out. So why do I stay alive? Stupid pride? I don't know. Maybe I think things will get better. Maybe they'll get better for you too OOM.

It doesn't sound like you really want to kill yourself.

It sounds like you're desperate for some attention and are using the threat of suicide as a means to get said attention.

Seek help.

Believe it or not, I don't think most Aspies are suicidal, no matter how much our lives suck.

I've been suicidal since I was 13 (ironically I blame the antidepressants they put me on because I either wasn't or didn't realize I was suicidal before then). I'm not particularly unhappy, more of just general malaise. I resolved to just not be too concerned if I was going to die or not... Ironically that lack of concern has saved my life several times since I no longer panic in life or death situations.

There's a great quote I keep around for times like this:
Q: "If we all end up dying, what is the point of living?"

A: "Indulge me in the privilege of rephrasing the question..."

"If you are going to run out of cake to eat, what is the purpose of eating cake?
The purpose is to enjoy it! and having been served a slice of cake, would you rebuff:
"No, thank you. there's not enough of this cake to eat forever, so there's no purpose to eating it."
Of course no! Scarcity doesn't make it any less pleasurable.
Doesn't the cake look delicious? So it is with life." -JEAIII

I think it was hormonal. I'm fine today. I knew that it wasn't a "real" feeling at the time.

I'm hating menopause though.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com