Online VS IRL

Post Reply New Topic

How do you behave online vs IRL? I personally have a lot more skill detecting subtlety and nuance in persons than I do online. I'm not great at it but I get when a girl is into me or not. I know when someone is annoyed with me a lot better. And I cope well with things when they go wrong. I don't invest myself in every girl I meet like she's the only one or like I have no other options. Usually after a week of showing interest with none returned I give up. So what do you think? Are you more open online?

When I'm online, I'm able to formulate my thoughts better, and talk more coherently, because I have time to think as I'm typing. If I was talking to you IRL, that sentence would have sounded something like this: "Online is easier 'cause I can, like, think better and my sentences don't sound stupid and, like, uh, messed up and stuff 'cause I have time to think, unlike a real conversation," or something along those lines.

When it is non-instant messaging I am much better online. IRL the hamster wheel in my brain can only spin so fast before falling off.

Hmm. Online I can't read any of the body language I've learned to read. I can't detect the nuance in speech. Online I'm much easier to fall prey to women who need an inbetween guy or just a guy friend to make them feel better about themselves. Having been used recently I realized some of my mistakes. Not sure if I screwed up the friendship or if she did. Thing is a lot of what happened isn't stuff that women do with just guy friends. In person I'm better at detecting things but not perfect.

When I'm online, I talk better and clearly but take a long time to type. In person, I'm confusing. Someone asks me something and they expect me to answer right away. I answer it vaguely because they don't give me time to think.

I have a little theory that I could be an online NT, but IRL Aspie. People who have known me both ways almost always comment on how different I seem, how intelligent and well spoken I seem over email, etc.
There are plenty of ways to determine whether an 'NT' has feelings based on the phrasing of their messages. I even discovered a lot of relationship research videos about it on youtube. There is a real social science revolution regarding relationships happening in Australia right now. I think that many of the people who call themselves pickup artist scientists on youtube are also on the spectrum. I don't agree with all of their methods or lifestyles, but they are getting real work done by applying the scientific method to real situations.

I find some things easier online, but other things easier IRL.

Online, there's obviously less of a problem with the non-verbal communication, as pretty much everything will be verbal (with the exception of emoticons and image macros), and more geared toward the exchange of information, which is also my strong suit offline.

But offline, I find it easier to establish a rapport with the other person IF it is a person I particularly like. When I'm with someone I'm fond of, I am happy that I am in their vicinity so that I can see their smiles and their gestures and their voice inflections. But whem I'm texting them or mailing them, I don't get any of that.

So it just goes to show that, for me, online communication has its perks and its cons.

So, I actually noticed recently I feel less lonely and I think that's partially because of spamming all the threads on here. This is significant because I ran a 500 person eve online alliance and still felt socially unsatisfied most of the time. It's further significant because I suffer from seasonal depression and I'm actually feeling happier overall and normally I would be in the pit right now. I think it's partially because I don't hold back on here and I actually get useful feedback. A lot of the topics I talk about here there is absolutely no way I would talk about with an IRL friend.

Thanks wrongplanet for being my shrink lol.

I'm a little bit concerned about some of the things I've posted that are now just part of the record and I cannot delete as it means I cannot invite other people who are close to me and might read it.

all my friends know my username and one of them actually created my avatar for me so meh... I cant remember usernames to have a different one everywhere. A lot of times if I cant get one of the variations of my username I just wont sign up for a site since I wont be able to log in anyways.

I find it easier to interact with people offline somehow. In some ways.

I can explain myself better online but the kind of person I am is much more obvious offline.

I've been described as the opposite of angry offline, I'm a very calm person, but I feel people associate emotions with my words too easily online and it gets frustrating to go around and have people making so many assumptions.

Offline and I can swear and use abusive words but because I'm a calm type the words I use don't have the same power that they do when I try to use the same words online. Online and I feel myself holding back on what I say a lot.

It's like, call someone an idiot online and u have to make so much effort to defuse the words with smileys and etc. Do it offline and my calm personality defuses the word for me.

Online just takes away too much from my sense of humour. Online has benefits but I do better offline.

Too many nasty bastards online too. It seems to be the only real constant with my online interactions. I've met a hell of a lot more nasty people online than off.

I have to avoid humor online, I am discovering, as people tend to misunderstand it as being snide and rude. Otherwise I do better online because I have time to find the words I want to say, and to sort them out into something coherent.

When the conversation gets more intimate, I need to be in person so that I can attempt to read the subtle stuff. When I say intimate, I am referring to talking friend to friend vs co-worker or stranger.