Strategies for responding to questions about weirdness

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What strategies do you recommend me to employ if acquaintances/friends ask about my weirdness, which after some time becomes quite apparent to people around me?

Do you think it is a good idea to tell that I have Asperger's, explain what it is with a positive touch, and say that I don't want to be treated any different, just that they should know about it so they can understand why I act weird on some occasions? Or would this just push people away?

I'd be very thankful for all answers and opinions, as I believe that I will have to talk about this topic with the person who has become my best friend in a long, long while. I just want something to say that can make our friendship a healthy, lasting one.

I think the strategy you employ is dependant on what you want to accomplish. If people are saying you're weird, telling them you have Asperger's isn't going to change that and may just reinforce that opinion. I believe it might, however, make them more understanding and tolerant of your behaviors. They're still going to think you're weird though.

When people tell me I am weird/crazy or ask me why I am weird/if I am mentally ill I usually snap at them and tell something like "it's not true", "you are more than me" or "I am sane". I'm not going to tell people about my problems unless I know them very well and I know I can trust them.

I think it's probably quite a good idea to tell friends. There's a sticky cartoon at the top of this thread which I think sums it up.

I wouldn't tell anyone IRL. Ever.

[img][800:400]http://localmediareport.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/quote-when-the-going-gets-weird-the-weird-turn-pro-hunter-s-thompson-184502.jpg[/img]

It depends: on the situation, on who the people are, what your intent is, what their intent is, and so on.

But in a job situation I dont see the point of telling them your condition, and then going into a little sermon about how "we are all impaired in some way".

I worked with a guy whom I suspected was a fellow aspie (I learned later that that is what he was) who was similar to me -but more extreme in his 'wierdness' so to speak.

For every time someone actually sad to his face that "you're wierd" a 100 times people would talk about him behind his back to each other about how odd he is. But most were tolerent and would say "he has ADD, or sumpin' like that", or that he's "special". The concensus was that he cant help it. The nice people were tolerent of it. And the bullies and jerks would be bullies and jerks to him. If he had announcecd that he was an aspie- it wouldnt have helped with the nice majority who already figured he was impaired in some way, and the bullies and jerks wouldnve just kept being bullies and jerks to him. So it wouldnt have accomplished anything to announce to the world.

I don't have to explain anything, everyone has their own eccentricities and struggles in life. Unless they have business knowing then my response to such a question would probably be a four letter word followed by you or off.

One time I was standing at the top of the stairs and I accidentally said "Durban" for no reason, just because the shape of the word was in my brain. My wife overheard and thought I had said something bad about her.

Normally I would have just insisted that I hadn't said anything until she gave up and stopped asking, but because I was being open with her I explained what had actually happened in my head.

That meant that we were able to laugh about it and move on, rather than her be annoyed and suspicious for the rest of the day.

There's a lot to be said for being open with those we trust.

As far as friends and family are concerned, I would probably tell them, I would wait until the next time one of them asks why you're behaving oddly, then just tell them matter-of-factly, "I have Asperger's, do you know what that is?" If they say yes, all you have to do is describe your particular symptoms, if they say no, you can preface it with something simple like, "It's a mild form of autism, it means I have difficulty understanding social cues like facial expressions and non-literal language, and it impacts my sensory system, for instance, I have trouble with [insert sensory sensitivity here] and that can make it hard to do certain things like [blank]. It can also affect the way I handle routines, etc. etc." I've told my friends, and they were all supportive of it, it's not really a big deal and we rarely discuss it any more, but if any of my oddities do come up, they understand why.

As long as they accept you as you then the reason for your weirdness is totally irrelevant. It doesn't matter at all.

I would take a joking approach to such inquiries, "I'm just being me; I know I'm awesome you don't have to gape". Of course, have to throw in the smile so hopefully they laugh or smile.

Heh, I am fully aware of my eccentricities and I never want to convey the expression that I am insecure, because I'm not.

Disclosing my diagnosis everytime someone points out my weirdness is just an invitation for their sympathy which is extremely pointless and likely to annoy me. Plus, I don't feel like giving a f****n improvised speech on what Asperger's is then relating it to all my strangeness, then dealing with nothing but shock, confusion, insert any other useless emotion, a 1000 questions, or blind assumptions.

If I want to disclose my diagnosis, I'll do it when I'm way past the point I trust a person enough to reveal info about myself, not because I'm eccentric and they demand an explanation. I couldn't care less for tolerance (a trivial expression that means you'll likely be the next juicy gossip topic). If you have to validate their "tolerance" with a reason then they're not worth your time.

I have two close friends. One I've known 9 years, the other about 5. Not once have they asked me about my weirdness, which was much more present back then. Indirectly I've recently told one of them of my diagnosis, I'm sure he went and did some good research... or doesn't care (even better).