i don't know how i should deal with my ex

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so…
i started dating my ex boyfriend in august. he is pretty shy, but he's NOT an aspie. there is nothing wrong with his ability to understand people and take hints… he is just self-absorbed and LAZY. he doesn't have many friends because he feels like he's smarter than most people and tells me he gets sick of them right away.
i made most of the first moves, but he asked me out.

in the beginning, it was fantastic… we went on hikes together, saw movies, and saw each other 3-4 times per week.
the only thing i didn't like was him relying on texts to plan all of our dates and talk to me. his messages were very short and he always ended the conversation right away with a short reply or no reply at all. it used to drive me crazy… i tried talking to him about it without pressuring him. i believed him when he told me he gets nervous and doesn't know how to respond. i didn't make him call me because i know a lot of men HATE talking on the phone. he knew i wanted him to call me and i admit it hurts me that he never tried calling me once, just to make me happy. there were times i really missed him and needed someone to talk to and i just couldn't get through to him without sounding desperate.
we didn't fool around or sleep together for a long time… we waited almost 3 months. i don't think he was in it "just for the sex". however, i think he was using me for attention… entertainment.

i don't trust him anymore. i do get paranoid, but i feel like he neglects me emotionally ON PURPOSE because it's fun for him.
once i told him i was stuck downtown with a drunk friend in the cold and he didn't reply to my text for 2 hours with a lame excuse for why he couldn't see me.
another time, it snowed the morning after i visited him at a friend's house. he told me he'd spend the day with me and i was all happy about it… i was hoping he'd help me scrape all the snow off my car or wait with me until i could find a safe ride home. instead he ditched me when he ran into some friends of his by the library… he just said he was going to a party with them and catching a bus. he didn't even tell me to get home safe… i was all alone in the freezing cold for 6 hours. i finally cleaned my car off by myself and drove home at 2 in the morning.
he got me NOTHING whatsoever for christmas. i bought him a nice book. he thanked me and didn't say a word to me about not getting me a gift. he didn't apologize or say he'd make it up to me. i just sat there feeling mortified… i had to excuse myself and sit outside for a while. i finally told him i was disappointed that he didn't do anything for me for christmas and he gave me one of his old toys.

at this point, we were only seeing each other once a week. we had nothing to do and nowhere to go. i got tired of paying for gas to drive us places and i knew he couldn't pay for any of our dates because he's jobless and lives with his family.
his parents give him money sometimes, but still… he made NO effort to do anything nice for me.
New Years Eve was the last straw for me. he was already at a party when he texted me, the usual "how are you doing". I said i was home and pretty bored after running errands all day.
I asked him how he was doing.
He told me he was doing such-and-such at his friend's house.
I said it seemed cool and he did NOT reply to me. he texted me 30 minutes before 12, asking me "how is your new years eve".
i did not reply, but i broke up with him 2 days later. he is begging for another chance. he is telling me he'll be better to me. he says he feels awful about what he's done. he said he wanted to do something nice on what would've been our 5-month anniversary because it's a "new year and that's almost half a year". this sounds like such BS to me.
i kept saying no… i told him every reason i can't be with him. i told him i'm not at all happy.
he made me feel so guilty for saying no and he said he will get a job and text me in a month to see if i want to try again or at least be friends.
i know he's expecting me to take him back and i don't know what to do.

i feel like i'm really bad at reading people, but my gut tells me he's manipulating me and making a fool of me. a part of me wants to trust what he says about loving me and wanting to change… but i'm scared. what do you guys think?

NO. Just NO. I am sure you can and deserve better. Let him learn his lessons off someone else's back. Life is but a blink. Don't waste it.

You will not be the reason he changes, he will do it on his own time and when he realizes why he needs to change. No contact is probably the best option, and you have already made it clear to him that you and him will not be getting back together.
And yes, he is lying to you and manipulating you. If he wanted to do something nice, he would do it and he wouldn't have to tell you afterwards when he messed up saying "well, I wanted to do this..." I would hope he has the decency to leave you alone when he finally gets the hint.

Well breaking up with him certainly shocked him, that's for sure. I've always believed that it takes disaster to learn a lesson, and I consider an unwanted break-up (unwanted on his part if he wants to get back together) a disaster of sorts. I would say the best thing to do in this situation is wait a month and see if he has actually followed through on changing himself (i.e. moving out of his parents, getting a job, getting a car), after re-examining who he is as a person after a month I think you'll have your answer.

Don't let someone who couldn't be bothered to help you in an emergency make you feel guilty about standing up for yourself. As for getting back together: he is immature and will not grow up fast enough to make a second chance worth your while. The mere fact that you were able to recognize his selfish behavior means you're better than that, and you should stick to your decision to fire him from the position of love interest.

Trust your instincts. This guy sounds completely cold and heartless, and he is only interested in being with you in order to upset you. A nice person would make you feel good about yourself if he wanted you back. Be polite and say its best for both of you this way and that you know there is someone out there perfect for him and unfortunately it isn't you.

Change your number, block him from Facebook, and move on.

People like this don't change until they run out of people to take advantage of. He will just lead you on, making you think he's changing, but they never change, they just wear down your resolve to resist them.

Wow, that's strange, the behavior I thought you were the NT and he was the Aspie.
I would love for my ex wanted my attention and affection:

My opnion, I being a shy NT, is the same as most here. Forget it.

I suggest not giving a second chance, because from what you described, his behavior does not seem to be due to social disabilities, but because of a bad character personality.

I agree with the other posters. Leave the dude and don't look back. Few people can change in a month, as in like less than 1%. Chances are he'd make himself look like he changed and then go right back to the way he was before.
Nope. Keep on walkin'. There's plenty of other good fish in the sea.

And on the thing about Christmas and not getting you a gift - Okay, not a big deal if he has money problems, but if a person really cared for someone, they would do SOMETHING. Not all gifts have to be bought. He could have taken you somewhere, or did a nice romantic evening in with your favorite movies and cooked your favorite meal.. He could have given you something that used to be his that he knew you'd like, etc.
There's plenty of things that can be done for someone that is a gift without it having to be bought. That goes for any other thing too in terms of buying things for a partner. If they don't have the money to buy something, there are other alternatives just as nice, and in some cases more meaningful and romantic.

Wow, that's strange, the behavior I thought you were the NT and he was the Aspie.
I would love for my ex wanted my attention and affection:

My opnion, I being a shy NT, is the same as most here. Forget it.

I suggest not giving a second chance, because from what you described, his behavior does not seem to be due to social disabilities, but because of a bad character personality.

OP, it's called a booty call. Ignore.

Walk away