anyone else have trouble communicating?

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I seem to have this problem where my native language is not understood by anyone

to the point that many times I ask for help either through emails or online or even on the phone I get people answering as if UI had asked the exact opposite question than I had intended. It is as if I was speaking English as a second language, the thing is, I was born in the area I currently live and even did well in school. It has reached the point I wish to live in a cave.

My advice, read as much as you can, and maybe listen to some speeches/lectures, etc... in an area of interest to you. It's possible that you can become more articulate from just having enough exposure to people who already are, thus reading and listening to people who are is exactly that.

I have that problem. Tests claim that I have superior language skills; however, in real life I can't get people to understand me. Almost any question I ask is taken the wrong way, even though I think I asked the question in a way that is both articulate and plain to understand.

see, you missed my point, my vocabulary far exceeds average, and in college papers I always get A's. My teachers always seemed to think I did great, it is just that I can't get across on forums or phone or things like that - the way I say it is I seem to break into Mandarin or something. I am talking past people all the time

I majored in English and I received A's and B's throughout school. As soon as I have to have a discussion at my work place which requires very technical information or processes nothing comes out the way i want it to. I understand that feel.

I completely understand that feeling. I have always done very well in school and I can communicate through writing well, but if I have to have a conversation with my advisor for something things get totally lost in translation between us and it often leads to me walking out more confused than when I went in.

Can you give us specific examples of situations where this happened? What the exchange was about, how you phrased things, and how they responded?

May sound extreme, but have you considered recording yourself and listening later to see what went wrong?

Can you be more specific about the problem? Is it about pronunciation (i.e. words you speak sound differently to you, in your head, than they sound to others who hear them)? In this case, a speech therapist may be able to help.

If however the problem is that you and others you try to communicate with are just not on the same wavelength, it's something that seems to be pretty common to everyone on the spectrum and probably can't be helped.

I sort of have the same problem. I've lived in and around this area my whole life, for the most part, I learned English as my first (and pretty much only) language, and since 1st grade I've done exceptionally well in English/Language Arts. The thing is, whenever I speak to random people out in the "real world", I often feel like I'm trying to speak a foreign language, and that the people I'm speaking to have a hard time understanding what I am saying. As well, I sometimes have a hard time understanding what other people are saying as well, mainly due to things like non-literal speech, slang, sarcasm, "beating around the bush", etc.

very weird you would bring up this topic, because I was just complaining to my husband about feeling this way.... It is so very frustrating, and as he has been sick for almost a year, and been to many doctors, you start to realize that miscommunication can be more than frustrating, it could potentially be dangerous. If you are asked what your medical problem is, and you don't use the right "key words" that the doctor can make a proper diagnosis.... and being non -verbal would make that only worse.

edited for clarity, because, obviously, I seem to have communication problems... duh

Last edited by fleurdelily on 29 Jan 2014, 10:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

well considering it happens on online forums as well as on the phone it can't be my voice or accent (even though I grew up in California Bay Area people say I sound as if I belong or came from New England)

really where it is is I communicate on every medium as clearly as possible - and others seems to get nearly ass opposite an idea of what I say, as the initial post said - even in emails.

what brought this out was it occurred again yesterday - a company has been spamming my phone attempting to get me to activate an APP - the problem here is I never downloaded the app & never wanted the app, step 1 just text STOP, problem, they spam me repeatedly from other numbers. To get them to stop I searched for them and then emailed them to stop spamming me.

instead of stopping - they provide me with instructions on how to use their APP and welcome me to their company and then tell me how to stop other users of the APP from spamming me.

since I don't have their APP I don't need to stop other people using their APP from spamming me, I want THEM to stop, but they don't get it

I hate smartphones, technology, the 21st century, and everything at this point!

I can relate to the difficulty communicating. But I don't think that a company that spams not understanding you means you have trouble communicating. They have trouble listening. This isn't you!

yeah but they are not the only ones, this happens to me all the time, this incident is just what precipitated me asking the question

ever since i stopped using loud halers to shout into peoples ears, i have experienced less resistance, but it does not matter anyway because i never really wanted to talk to them in the first place.

Those of you who feel, like the OP, that people don't understand what you're actually saying, let me ask y ou this-

Do you usually feel that using spoken language is difficult for you? That you'd "be a lot happier" or "would function a lot better" if you didn't have to be verbal?

That's the closest thing I've noted in myself to a language problem. That, and the fact that when I talk (even with people I know), sometimes I can't phrase things quite right. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but it just wouldn't come out that way.

Anyone else feel they'd function better if they didn't have to talk?

While there are times I really do like being silent I also need communication with people and I also actually despise the distant impersonal texting and other digital means, so I do have to reach out verbally

my communication problems seem also to be not just when speaking but in all forms of interaction, Forums, Email, and phone calls as well as in person - somehow anytime I try to get a point across I just seem to have this energy that turns people understanding to the opposite of my intentions.