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Summer_Twilight
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03 Feb 2014, 9:05 pm

I have created a vlog about living on the autism spectrum vs. living independently and the price I have to pay as well. There is a time when I have to educate people but I am starting to realize that others seem to enjoy getting up in my business about this or that.

http://youtu.be/RfpXrBdE-Tk

Has this ever happened to you and if so, how do you stamp out the ignorance?



Bodyles
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14 Feb 2014, 10:32 am

Never happened to me.

Usually they act all surprised 'you seem normal to me' or deny that I'm autistic 'you can't be autistic, I've seen/worked with/have a child/etc who is autistic and you're nothing like them.'
Interesting vlog.
Kinda tough for me to watch/listen to closely, but I got the gist.

I'm extremely jealous of you owning your own condo.



EsotericResearch
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17 Feb 2014, 3:01 pm

Bodyles you have passing privilege. That means you can walk down the street and look like an NT. It is similar to how, some African American people look white and therefore have passing privilege which gave them advantages during the segregation era. I do not pass as NT, in any way shape or form, some of us are very visibly autistic and that is where the issues come in.


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Summer_Twilight
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17 Feb 2014, 4:51 pm

I normally pass but it's more when I tell them or show if they see the nervous ticks.

Now I did get hired at that position near the airport since the woman who asked all of those stupid questions during the interview wanted to learn more about Autism. So she agreed to hire me. Unfortunately, that position did not work out since she was just not very responsible or reliable. She was also the bit of a feather brain and a mooch.

I applied at a different position and had an interview a month later and I did tell them that I am on the spectrum. The lady doing the interviews was mean anyhow by saying weird things to the others. I just happened to have one of those days where I had ticks which came from two pieces of material not blending well while sitting. So I did a lot of fidgeting in which she took notice. When I was called for the interview, she said "You're quirky!" Then she started imitating me in front of her other candidates who started laughing. Then when she asked me the questions about my experiences, there was this really high phony voice as if I were a child.

I also notice that people use the phony superficial voice with me when I try to talk about what X is doing they respond with "That's X huh?" It's very condescending and annoying.
That is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Finally, I notice that I cannot take out time to cry about being turned down for a job that I really want without feeling patronized. I used to have a respite provider who took me to and from the bus while letting me stay with a family member under a semi independent situation. I remember crying about feeling let down and they started with "Let's not think about that and talk about something that you like. What do you like. I know Lord of the Rings. Let's talk about that."



Bodyles
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18 Feb 2014, 2:09 pm

EsotericResearch wrote:
Bodyles you have passing privilege. That means you can walk down the street and look like an NT. It is similar to how, some African American people look white and therefore have passing privilege which gave them advantages during the segregation era. I do not pass as NT, in any way shape or form, some of us are very visibly autistic and that is where the issues come in.


Sure, and that's great, I guess, until I try to explain to someone that I have special needs because of my condition and I get accused of lying about it. *sigh*
Not that I envy those of you who can't pass your issues either, just that passing isn't always all it's cracked up to be.
That and people use 'autistic' as a pejorative term around me without realizing how offsensive that is.
I'm actually kind of used to that, being a Jew who doesn't look Jewish.
You have no idea how often I've had to say "I'm Jewish/Autistic." in those circumstances and watch the allistic/Christian/redneck folks get all uncomfortably silent and start judging me.
I think there's only one time I kept silent about it for a long period, but that's only because the neo-nazi asshat who was buying me drinks all night in that Irish pub in Salzburg told me he could spot a Jew a mile away and I thought it was amusing/ironic to have him continue to pay for my drinks after he said that (also I didn't wanna get jumped & beaten up walking home...).
I told the bartenders, who knew me, about it afterwards and we all had a good laugh.

@Summer_Twilight:
Interestingly, I've always hated that sort of condescending tone, especially as a child.
I refuse to speak to children in anything other than a normal tone of voice, no matter how young they are.
To me, people are just people and should be treated with equal respect.
If someone tried to talk to me like that I'd probably go off on them: "F*ck you, you condescending POS!"



Summer_Twilight
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19 Feb 2014, 9:46 am

I don't want to say too much here but I want to continue with the provider situation. When I was a client of their's, I would ask them to take me to a grocery store to do some shopping. I remember one-time where they followed me around and made sure I bought things that my family member approved of. It was very embarrassing. The provider claimed that they had to follow me around like a puppy dog because my family member was into health and wanted me to eat healthy. So they micromanaged what I purchased because they did not want to get into trouble with my family member.



Feralucce
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22 Feb 2014, 3:25 pm

I am confused by the subject of this thread... one can live independently AND on the spectrum


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Summer_Twilight
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22 Feb 2014, 10:50 pm

Feralucce wrote:
I am confused by the subject of this thread... one can live independently AND on the spectrum


The whole purpose of this post is what it is like to live with Autism and even attempt to live independently. The reason why I brought it up was because I find it amazing how many people who share and hold ignorance have to dig in your private life. Can't people see how far you have come without bugging you to death about what services that I need?



Feralucce
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22 Feb 2014, 11:05 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Feralucce wrote:
I am confused by the subject of this thread... one can live independently AND on the spectrum


The whole purpose of this post is what it is like to live with Autism and even attempt to live independently. The reason why I brought it up was because I find it amazing how many people who share and hold ignorance have to dig in your private life. Can't people see how far you have come without bugging you to death about what services that I need?


As far as I can tell... it is because they assume that we need help... They are doing their best to put themselves in a frame of reference to communicate with us.


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Summer_Twilight
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23 Feb 2014, 8:29 pm

Yes and it almost like they are speaking to an alien.

"Hi, me A and this dress." Lol

The reason I brought it up is because this is an area that is a hot button of mine. I want to know how many of you get the same response and how you tackle the matter.