Holy Mormon Underwear

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I think it's super awesome that Mormons have holy underwear, and I am going to buy some for myself.
Are there any aspies who have tried on holy undergarments before? How does it feel? Do you feel less aspie symptoms while wearing the sacred garment? Is it worth the price? What color would you suggest?
I honestly do believe the temple garments are going to help me out in my life because I have heard tons of stories of Mormons who have been helped by the temple underwear. I believe this is going to be what saves me from my Asperger's syndrome.

This is a satire?

No. I have been taking caffeine pills for about two months and I think this is going to help me slow down on the caffeine addiction as well. These garments have saved people from fiery tornadoes. Look it up.

Who knows?!

http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Poe's_Law

I don't see how this could be taken as satrical?

My first boyfriend was a mormon.

His magic underwear might have protected him from fiery tornadoes, but it certainly didn't protect him from lots of hot, gay sex.

Then again, he is hardly unique in that.

I think that you have to be Mormon to buy them.

HOLY MORMON UNDERWEAR, Batman!! !! !! !!

Was he an aspie? If not, did he have a thing for aspies?

THe magic underwear makes sense in the context that he started out as a kind of country wizard who specialized in finding water and "treasure". He was into that kind of mysticism. The underwear covered in symbols is a bit like ye olde wizard robes. He had magical scrying stones and a magic hat, claimed to understand hieroglyphics, etc. He was 19th century Harry Potter.

Mitt Romney's wife was taken to task by the old bittys in their church when a dress she wore that didn't extend all the way to her knees revealed she failed to put on her magic underpants that day.

Because you're talking about underwear helping you with caffeine addiction and tornadoes.

You had one of those too, eh? I think it caused me more cognitive dissonance than him when he would take off garments, have sex, then put his temple garments on again.

Neither. But when you're the only two gay boys (that you know about) for miles, those considerations tend to fall by the wayside.

Imagine leaving them on!

[Excuse me while I go to my happy place for a few minutes....]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEPv4VEeYUo[/youtube]