Do introverted aspies find it easier to fit in?

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I can relate.

Prior to my diagnosis I pushed myself to be extroverted. The results were as OP described: Faux Pas City. I was routinely ostracized with varying degrees of civility.

I am much happier now that I better understand myself and choose to celebrate and enjoy my alone time rather than feel somehow less-than because of it.

I'm introverted, but outspoken if need be ... so, no, I don't fit in. Because I don't network/form alliances with others it's been easy for those who dislike me (mostly because I don't agree with them) to form alliances against me.

I do tire quickly and am quite happy without friends. The down side is I seem to have a yearning for interesting conversations (not small talk but topics of fascination such as an exchange of information or discussion about the paleolithic lifestyle or nutrition for example...can't find many people out and about who even know what the paleo diet is. Even at the gym people gave me a blank look when or if I mentioned it and someone online even asked me what the paleolithic was...um...they don't teach this at school these days?) and romantic interaction and intimacy. Outside of that I don't need to socialise but I do like uploading pictures and blogs and things.

I am reserved in person however (don't speak much and usually people complain about that because I don't interact as much as I am supposed to). Sometimes I am happy just being out and about and do not desire interaction with other humans. Today I wanted to get home though as the youths at the bus stop kept shouting loudly and it kept making me jump. It felt like the sound they made reverberated through every cell in my body...! Noisy buggers college students.

But there are times I will seek out social interaction. It is partly why I joined a gym...alas my attempted discussions there have not yet taken off and no friendships have been made.

I'm mostly introverted, but I have some extroverted traits. I enjoy big crowds, but I usually hate large noisy groups where people interact with me. I also get energized interacting with some people, but the vast majority of people drain my energy. I'm usually the most outgoing in a group of introverts.

I am an ambivert. It is in the middle. I prefer balance. I took one of those silly online tests, because I was confused on the subject. That is what it said. I think it is harder for people to recognize aspie traits when you are this way. People really cannot figure me out unless I tell them, wich usually is not a good idea.

This sounds a lot like me. Though, since my diagnosis, I have tried to control being so outspoken. At work, I need to constantly remind myself, "Rocket, keep your thoughts to yourself".

Regarding the original post, whenever I am in a social setting:
- I don't know how to start a conversation
- I don't know how to end a conversation
- I don't enjoy small talk
- I don't know what to talk to others about (unless it is work related)
- When I look towards a person, I am always looking at their mouth

Is that me being introverted? Or is that me being an Aspie? Does an extroverted Aspie have the same problem? I have no idea.

I usually just ignore people more. I might have pretty strong opinions and not always agree with people but I won't usually show it. I'll just remain silent and judgmental. My friend is extroverted BP/ADHD and she just says whatever is on her mind. I'm not sure if she can tell if it's usually insulting to most people.

In what way? Do you mean help by agreeing to hang out and expect the person to go out with you the next time you ask? Or do you mean help as in with a personal issue and they help you out in the same way?

I help people out when I can and when I can manage it. I'm not very good at agreeing to hang out. I'm kind of between introverted and extroverted behaviour according to you.

But being around people is very draining to my energy so I think I am more an introvert, even if my mania makes me seem more extroverted. I sometimes do say things that are embarrassing to others.

I'm introverted and guarded in public. I've probably conditioned myself to be like this over the years as a protective measure since I am easily flustered and prone to blushing when spotlighted. I also have the usual Aspie eye-contact problem. However, at home with family or out with close friends I'm a bit more outgoing and sometimes even silly. It's like my true self comes out or something. I also feel this way when I'm drinking - I find that I can be more engaging and social and even hold eye contact. So I'm not sure it's a matter of losing my built up inhibitions or if a switch just goes off in my head. Maybe it is both. Anyone else see this effect with alcohol?

I guess I am pretty extroverted, and yeah, many autistics find me annoying and many NTs' straight hate me. on the rare occasion I find another extroverted [but occasionally introverted] autistic, I feelso energized and have SO MUCH FUN!

I was very introverted and had a terrible time in public school...people thought it was weird I was 'quiet' so they picked on me for that along with everything else. In highschool, I somehow got the reputation of some potential mass murderer who supposedly wanted to bring a gun to school and shoot everyone(I actually had no plans to do such a thing and no way to acquire a gun anyways). So I got avoided a lot and when people did have stuff to say it was usually something at my expense. Then when some f***head who wasn't a student came in and shot someone....i still remained the ostracized outcast and was more or less left out of the whole 'come to together as a community to get through this.' Oh no because apparently I couldn't have possibly been upset about it as well.

I think the original poster has a point. I find that the more I keep to myself and just follow the polite social scripts in public, the fewer enemies I make. Of course, I have always been terrified of people, extremely shy. However, my attempts at being outgoing showed me that it is better to stand alone. People don't understand me, and they find me offensive or rude.

The downside to being standoffish is that people think you are stuck up, or they don't know how to approach you. They might like to get to know you but don't know the words to say because you are so quiet. You are not necessarily considered rude but you are not popular.

I used to think I was introverted; but on reflection, only because I shied away from social interaction due to not being good at it.

Whenever I have felt safe, when younger or when taking part in the cat fancy (which is full of Aspies and severely eccentric NTs) I was always extroverted. Now that I am recovering since diagnosis and have learned a large amount of coping skills ( for living among those lunatic NTs ), I am starting to do more and more with the general public in my hobbies and so on.

I guess that's the bit in the literature about people with AS wanting to socialise (unlike people with classic Autism), but not knowing how (at least, not naturally).

I sometimes wonder if I would be less introverted if I was better at:

a) being able to start a conversation
b) knowing what to talk to others about
c) knowing how to keep a conversation going
d) being able to end a conversation

It is said that Extroverts gain energy from other people while Introverts lose energy from being around people (for long periods of time).

For me, the difficulties with conversing are what is draining. If it was easy (and more effortless), it would not be so draining.

I don't know really. It depends on the person. I have met a woman on the spectrum who was very chatty and wasn't quiet and timid and nervous like me. Although more people preferred me in their company than her, she still got heard more because she spoke more. People liked me more, but I did get walked over sometimes and my voice wasn't always heard in conversations which made me feel emotionally disconnected, and sometimes I do wish I was more louder than I am. I know louder socially awkward people make more social faux pas and can noticeably be more hard work, but I still rather that than be like a weak mouse.

I must say though, being quiet has made me able to observe NT behaviour and made me learn more how to behave socially and what to say that's socially appropriate and what not to say that's socially inappropriate. I was shy and quiet as a child too, and so spent more of my time observing other people, making me learn more about the social side of life.