my dating profile, toughts?(hopefully not mean)

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Do you mean "lankychelsea"? If so, I have a few suggestions. But this is sly279's thread, perhaps start your own unless he doesn't mind?

But if you like Walks/hikes, I really do not understand what is keeping you from visting your friend, that you mention to not visit anymore because of him now living 7 miles from you, and its now "too expensive"?

That were the words, that were bothering me. 7 miles i a distance, that I dont even think about, if I have the time.

cause I can't do hikes alone, also that's like 4 hours there and 4 hours back, theres no where to use the bathroom on the way, i'll be so tired after getting there i won't be able to walk back. I do more of short hikes then super long ones now a days if i do them at all. Hes in far better shape and he won't do it.

the axniety and mental block is so much that I can't even walk the mile down to the store in back. I drive to cheaper store 5 miles away every 2 weeks to get food.

Talk yourself up. Remove any negative comments about yourself. You should claim interesting hobbies/interests and mention that you run your own business. No real need to be specific when you say you run your own business.

directed at me?

bump

why are you bumping this thread? Have you got a personality/looks/circumstances upgrade and are soliciting new input?

Apologies if I seem harsh but my two weeks on OKC have made me completely deaf to the plight of humans.

Sly will probably keep bumping this thread for the next couple of months, if not longer.

I think people have given all the advice they possible could concerning your OKCupid profile itself. The profile information will change when you change the things going on in your life.

I just don't understand what more you're looking for. The secret golden key to the female kingdom? Lol

partly wanting new advice if there is any( i did make changes that i could.) another part not wanting to return to my lonely life and the only areas on here i can talk to people are here and haven. most attention was given to my okc profile though in reality it seems m best bet i pof. I've talked to more people there and had two more people like me on there for some reason that i don't know.

Ok, I've been on ok cupid for 1 day now and have the following advice:

1. Put a joke in the secrets section, or somewhere else on your profile. I'm more likely to talk to someone if their profile makes me chuckle.

2. Don't be afraid to message first, and when you do don't just say "Hi, what's up?" I don't respond to those and I imagine a lot of other women don't either. You should find something on the other person's profile that you have in common and open up the conversation with that. Ex: "It's great to meet someone who loves x-men too! Are you excited for the new movie to come out?"

3. Put up a picture where you're smiling or doing an activity. (I hear pictures of a person being social help a lot, although I wouldn't care).

4. I don't know what your area's demographic is like, but you could try changing some of your quiz answers to be less right-wing/conservative because that was definitely a turn off for me. Like don't lie about who you are, but when filling out "acceptable answers from others" I'm pretty sure being more open-minded about other people's opinions will help with the compatibility score.

Hope this helps!

it does a little, My problem is in the enacting the advice. I'm not good at on the spot stuff. like ask me where i want to have dinner and I'll freeze up. I likely had an ideal but now I'm on the spot and its gone.

I fear its too late also at least for okc. I don't have much to anyone left to message. only 7 matches and all are out of my league. Wish i was born better looking.

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so discouraged but don't give up! You can always use okcupid to make friends (short and long-distance) too. I like it for it's ability to find people with similar mindsets and interests more than anything.

For jokes (especially in the secrets section) put something true that's a little silly and embarrassing but really not a big deal. For example mine is: I sing along to ABBA while driving. Another good one I saw is: I'm terrified of revolving doors.
Idk how often you go out shooting but you could try to get a picture the next time you do that. I don't think the picture you have right now is bad, but you could always use some variety.

You could also put on your profile that you're busy and sorry if it takes you a long time to answer (even if you have loads of free time).That way people will be more understanding if you take a long time to think up an answer. I have a hard time replying right away too so I never use the IM feature.

How to change your test answers is trickier, especially if you're down to 7 women in your area. We are only a 44% match, so there were tons of questions we disagreed on. If you feel that any of the women on there are slightly more in your league but have a lower compatibility score you could go on their profiles and look under "Unacceptable answers" to see in what specific ways you differ from them and then think about how much those questions truly matter to you.

Anyways, I'll leave it at that. I am far from an online-dating expert, I'm just basing this on what I've observed on the website so far. Good luck with everything else in your life!

was nice to talk and hear your advice. could I ask what about my face is ugly? for if i ever win the lottery i plan on getting plastic surgery

also your advice as a woman was the intended goal of the thread, to see what i can improve to have better chance with women.

Its depressing to see so many pretty women both on okc and out and about. one of many reasons i don't go out.

so I've been running a craigslist ad for 22 days now

I got a message from a lady that just says " gotta pic" do i send a pic if so which of the three. or just not reply ?

I've gotten 3 other possible real emails. others were spam I assume( message saying lets go on a date with a number from another state and a picture of a semi nude model like girl)

one of the possible real one who has emailed me twice has a local number but also a pic of just in a shirt in bathroom(who does that?)

email 2 from last week jumped straight to a date without asking to text/call without asking for a photo. also likes nightlife, beer and loves to travel. I am not a night life beer person. also seems dangerous to give your number to a stranger ad person so quick.

3rd was from few days ago just said "hey there" I didn't know how to respond so just said hi how are you. got no reply.

Maybe I should delete the add. But i just figure no harm and having it out there each week. I'm competing with shirtless thin guys who want long term FWB and other hot guys, so I don't stand much of a chance but again no harm other then the spam and rejections(i didn't expect any. Seems odd to message a guy to just ignore/reject him)

so I don't know what to do. the most recent one could have at least tried to have a conversation before jumping to picture, maybe the fact that shes unwilling to until she knows if I'm hot or not is a sign that shes not for me?

If i send the pic then she 90% will just not respond and then another stranger knows what I look like.

as for the others I'm not going to text them(done giving bunches of strangers my number) i don't know what to say to the night life lady that would garner 2nd response.

Pictures need some improvement, and it looks like the rest of the posts on this thread took care of the paragraph part.

I lost used to be 260 lbs at 5' 7," now I'm around 180 with little body fat. It took me 4.5 years to get back into shape, but it feels so much better! No gym? Run/walk, buy a cheap pull up bar, etc. If you want it bad enough, you will do whatever it takes. In your off-time for looking for a job, why not use that extra time to work out? It helps me clear my mind, especially if I am bothered.
When I was dieting, I was eating purely for nutrients. I cut out sweets, sodas and greasy foods. I lose all my acne too when I cut those out as well. I also know that most women I don't click with. I am into science and never want kids. These standards I have are surely compatible with someone...but there aren't many women that fit. But I won't settle for less. You have to set what standards you want, and want kinda woman you think you'd click with, then aim for it.

There is no such thing as outta' your league. Sadly, women are expensive. You'd want a job and a place of your own to have sex at.

What about not faking it, but actually thinking about engaging in an activity? I mean there needs to be some kind of interests that you have. Anyway how nerdy or geeky it might be, try to engage in it. If its about pokemon or Magic the gathering, almost in every city there are groups that you can join for gaming partners ...

In the end, you simply need something to stand out. You were refering about your weight and skinny girls out of your league and .... again. In the end you simply need something, that catches other persons interest. There are different kind of stuff you can focus on, be it your external looks, be it your personality, be it your interests or if all of that lacks, some people make themselve interesting by simply owning money.

But if you focus on absolutely nothing, how can you even get a girls attention. Take a group of men, and one might be quiet handsome and the right one for family and kids, the other one might be a bit nerdy, the other one will be a romantic guy, the next one might be into sports... None of them will fit for every woman, but a woman seeking for someone to settle down will automatically be more interested in Mr. "potential dad", a woman being herself excessive about sport and eating will be automatically more interested in the sporty guy, one that might have herself geeky hobbies might be happy about the nerdy guy because of him hopefully not always bothering her about her sh***y hobbies, ...

But if you stand out in abolutely nothing, then which kind of woman could you attract? The one, that seeks someone that catches her interest, because out of absolutely nothing?

If I was into dating, I would not contact someone because of me thinking "I did not find anything really bad in his profile, so its ok." but because of me thinking "Out of this or that reason, I think that guy might be interesting to me." There is no ultimative reason to contact someone, what might attract one girl, could scare the next one off. But without anything standing out, I think you neither will attract nor scare someone.

Dont get yourself again into all the stuff you cant do, but actually think about the stuff you can do. And if you cant do anything, because of your social anxiety, the thing you CAN do is search as example for an internet-forum or group in your area, that focuses on fighting social anxiety. But if you already found out yourself, that on the literally actual spot that you actually are, nothing goes, then you simply need to start doing a step.