Perfume Problems

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At work I sit pretty close to this woman that I cannot stand (haven't talked about her much lately, try not think about her when I'm not there). Well aside from the fact that she is brown noser who is absolutely ADORED by EVERY SINGLE ONE of our bosses, none of us (her coworkers) trust her because she goes to them and says things about us to get us in trouble.

So I just stopped speaking to her, unless she asks me a question about work then I am extremely polite and as helpful as I can be. But I organize department lunches (our girls lunch out) and always invite her. I never treat her with hostility.

BUt because we sit so close, she just constantly overloads me with noises and smells and her heater. And this has been going on for years and I keep trying to find compromises. LIke when her heater was bothering me, I just asked her to turn it off for 15 minutes if at all, then I bought her an electric blanket with my own money - she loved it but then mysteriously stopped using it and turned the heater back on (but sometimes she uses a non electric blanket). I asked her if it was broken because it was still under warranty and she said no people keep going under her desk and unplugging it (nobody has ever once gone under my desk and unplugged anything). Eventually I figured out I could get a little fan and when she puts the heater on I just put the fan on me. I'm not nuts about it, but it solves the conflict.

That's just one example the lengths I go to to compromise with her.

But her perfume I can't compromise, it makes me ill. So we've gone back and forth back and forth and she seems to be sympathetic and says she won't wear any, but starting monday she was wearing something that was just horrible and she's been wearing it all week. I wasn't even going to bother asking her because I knew it wouldn't do any good, so I've been searching for alternative means to solve the problem like charcoal bags that I could just put on my desk. Today when she was leaving she said goodnight, I said goodnight and turned away and then she said ARE YOU MAD AT ME? I wasn't going to say anything, but she was demanding that I converse with her and she knows I DO NOT WANT TO CONVERSE WITH HER unless it's work related. I said I"m sick of your perfume burning my eyes and making it hard for me to breathe all week.

She denied it was her and I said, yes it is you. So she stomped off and said she's going tell personnel to move her. Well personnel can't move either one of us without BIG PROBLEMS, otherwise I would have asked for that already. So what's she's threatening to do is cause a lot of trouble for me.

The biggest problem is that all the bosses adore her and they think I'm kind of weird and difficult and since nobody understands how sensitive I am to stimuli like heat and perfume and stuff, no matter how much I compromise, I'm seen as being a B***** who is harassing the dear sweet one.

Tomorrow may be a bad day! I don't know what to say to our manager if I get called in because I know if I try to say that I dislike her or describe her dishonest behavior, it will backfire on me. And our manager is really super nice but she is not at all sympathetic to my problems with her perfume or heater or anything else, she seems to think I'm being difficult, she's just so nice she won't come out and say it like that.

Does anybody have any idea what I should say? Have you dealt with having to discuss the perfume or heat or noise with anyone in a way that worked? Any advice would be appreciated!

I was sure I'd seen articles on-line and in print media about perfume at work and how it can have a negative effect on people. I googled perfume at work and this was the first article which came up.http://woman.thenest.com/perfume-etique ... -8053.html

It says that some companies have "no perfume" policies, and I'm sure you'll be able to find other articles which give more information about your rights in this regard. You're not unusual in this, and it is unreasonable to expect someone to work in close proximity to someone whose perfume causes you physical discomfort.

I've not had to deal with this myself, but years ago some people in an office next to mine started bringing in strong smelling food at lunchtime. The people who shared the room with them did complain and I remember a memo went round telling us that "pungent" foodstuffs were not allowed.

sorry cannot help but can totaly relate,wozeree.
there are a number of support staff of mine who wear perfume and have had it communicated to them over and over and over again if they coud please not wear it as its causing terrible headaches,weird strong pressure in back of nose, and eye watering around them-the perfume smell just lingers every where which makes it worse.
but of course they ignore it.

and the same staff are also obsessed with heaters to,they are of nigerian origin and hate the weather of the UK,whenever theyre on shift they wack all the building radiators on full blast, and wear multiple layers of clothing,some of them only wear skimpy clothing and think they can use the central heating as an alternative to putting clothes on instead.meanwhile am suffering from splitting headaches from the heat with no pain medication,and sat in underwear. whenever have opened a window slightly they get right up and shut it acting like have insulted their mother.

If you decide you'd like to indulge in a moment of sheer vindictiveness, there are Skymall products initially created for Law Enforcement and Private Investigators (for what specific law enforcement purpose I do not know) that sprayed on a person's clothing, do things like simulate the odor of roadkill, or make it smell like they've gone in their pants. Of course you wouldn't want to unleash that in the office, where you'd be subjected to it yourself, but when she's leaving for the day (especially if you know she's going somewhere special before home), or on a day when she's going to be conferencing with the boss all afternoon...

Then you can tell your superiors "I told you her perfume was overpowering."

Thanks for the responses -

Marcia, I'm not sure she's actually wearing perfume (now that I think of it) - she is denying wearing any, I don't know if she could using shower gel or something like that that could have such a horrible affect on me from 4 feet away all day long for 3 days. But anyway, if she keeps saying she's not wearing it - I don't know. Too me, the place reeked of it, but I'm hypersensitive to it. I'm picturing me saying - It's horrible, smell it! and everybody else saying, I can't smell anything!

KingdomOfRats - we're in the same predicament! Hope it gets better for us both!

Willard - haha, all I can say is it's a funny thought experiment, but I could never make myself do it to her. I would never do anything mean to her on purpose. You gave me a good laugh though.

Most people by "toilet water" (eau de toilet). It's alcohol-based. It's why it not only tends to burn peoples' noses and eyes but might even burn the skin. Most buy it because it is CHEAP.

Eau de parfume is OIL BASED. It's scent doesn't burn and because it costs significantly more, you use only a drop of it for the whole body.

Toilet water needs reapplication because it fades. Oil-based will last until you shower.

People who don't know better need to be educated...or told not to wear perfume at all. I normally hate perfume, but oil-based does not seem to set me off like toilet water does.