Troubled by my Employment Advisor

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I have been getting employment advice from Remploy which is a UK government funded organization that helps people with problems (health, disability etc) find work.

I have been seeing the same adviser for about two years now and I think he is ok and is often very encouraging. He is currently encouraging me to write books and sell them online. I like the guy and talking to him is not uncomfortable. But today he suddenly told me that he is a sociopath.

At first I didn't know what to say and he started telling me what a sociopath is. He said that they do anything to get ahead and get what they want and don't feel guilt if they hurt others along the way. I know a lot of bullies are sociopaths and now I feel troubled about what he told me.

I don't want to cause trouble for him but I feel anxious now about seeing him because I think he might cause me trouble.

Do you think it is strange that he said this to me? It came up in conversation about psychology because he was talking about psychopaths in films and books. He knows I have Aspergers Syndrome.

Maybe I am naive, but every sociopath I know of in real life would NEVER be able to admit they were a sociopath. That sounds rather bizarre to me. Then again, I've had some odd employment counselors before too. If he truly is a sociopath (which I doubt) be VERY wary around him. Sociopaths are dangerous people and are highly skilled at turning a group of people against you and have no issues with ruining your life. As folks on the spectrum we tend to be their biggest targets due to how naive and independent we are and are a massive threat to them! Been there, done that and got the T-shirt many times before.

I had what I think was a sociopath turn an entire group of people against me 180 degrees and was practically able to convince them up was down and *I* was the sociopath. Be careful!

My experience has been that sociopaths are masters at gaining someone's confidence, and then using that against them.

It might be that his self-disclosure was his way of giving you a warning not to let that happen to you. If so, then he gets an A+ for experiencing and acting on a moment of caring for a potential victim. (A bit like a rattlesnake that has the courtesy to give a warning rattle before striking.)

I don't know what he is going to strike me with. I think he is ok but I don't fully trust him because I don't really trust anyone.

He is supposed to be advising me on how to find work but I know he also reports back to the job center about me.

Of course he could just be a blowhard narcissist who likes to think of himself as a sociopath, because he thinks that means he's destined to be successful.

Be watchful. Always look for the angle-- Ask yourself, "What's in it for him?" "What do I stand to lose?" Stop and think about these things-- Asperger's means it probably doesn't come natural, but it doesn't make it impossible. Just something you have to make yourself think about.

One of my friends is a sociopath (at least, I'm pretty sure). I've known the man for 12 years, and he has never tried to harm me-- he is a well-behaved sociopath. He is an opportunistic bastard-- he will happily talk you out of your beer, your pizza, whatever's in you wallet, et cetera-- but he will not set himself out to harm, and he will (very respectfully) take "No" for an answer when politely called on it.

I wouldn't trust him with a brokenhearted girlfriend (even if he is married-- he would, I believe, see it as simply nature taking its course when they 'somehow' ended up in bed together).

I would, however, trust his advice about a problem he doesn't have a personal stake in. I would just about trust him with my life (literally), and that is not a statement I make about very many people (including some other friends with an immense capacity for empathy).

Why would an employment advisor be a sociopath? If hes supposedly successful and fought his way to become an employment advisor. Does not make sense.

It does not make sense that he told me this. I cannot think why he said it. And if he is a sociopath why would he say so?

This is yet another time when someone has made me think people are just weird.

1 in 25 people is a sociopath, according to "The Sociopath Next Door". Who knows whether or not this guy really is a sociopath. But that's a messed up thing to say.

I would seriously not see this advisor again and ask for a new one. They might not believe that he said this to you, but you should never be advised by someone who would say something like that. I wouldn't see him again no matter what. Who knows what he's up to.

BTW- Some people think that autistic people, sociopaths, and psychopaths have things in common because of their "lack of empathy." This is a really stupid argument. There's a lot of argument about what empathy even is. People on the autism spectrum have the capability to feel bad for others, sociopaths and psychopaths do not.