"Nice Guys" and " Nice Girls"

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animegirl93
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01 Mar 2014, 10:43 pm

Tell me, tell me this. Why is it that every time I'm talking to someone (guy or bi/les girl) the very first thing(weather they see my picture or not) that comes out of their [email protected]#$ing mouths is "Will you [email protected]#$ me?"
No, #$%hole I want to have a decent conversation. I'm NOT a stripper/whore/hooker or whatever. I mean is asking for a decent conversation too much to freakin ask for in this day in age? I have NO CLUE what I'm doing wrong.



AspieOtaku
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01 Mar 2014, 10:47 pm

I think its because theyre horny and fail to forget your a human being.


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01 Mar 2014, 10:53 pm

I would guess that you're talking to the wrong people, in the wrong environment.



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01 Mar 2014, 11:06 pm

If it's a dating site maybe they're spamming on the theory that if they do that to 100 people then maybe 1 will say yes (...and then eat their liver because they're a serial killer).



animegirl93
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01 Mar 2014, 11:08 pm

I don't know. the places where that came from was high school, College (HACC), eharmony, match.com. If they're not good places to look, then where do I look for someone?



Pobbles
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01 Mar 2014, 11:11 pm

animegirl93 wrote:
I don't know. the places where that came from was high school, College (HACC), eharmony, match.com. If they're not good places to look, then where do I look for someone?


No idea. Be sure to let me know if you find out.



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01 Mar 2014, 11:15 pm

Pobbles wrote:
animegirl93 wrote:
I don't know. the places where that came from was high school, College (HACC), eharmony, match.com. If they're not good places to look, then where do I look for someone?


No idea. Be sure to let me know if you find out.


x2 (let everyone know!)

It was all luck for me. Dating sites are terrible places.



Pobbles
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01 Mar 2014, 11:18 pm

Tell me about it. I have calculated (using prejudice, not math) that 98% of people on dating sites are serial killers or bunny boilers. The remainder are scammers and bots.



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01 Mar 2014, 11:31 pm

I don't think you are necessarily doing anything wrong. It is just the way it is. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. They want sex, and they are asking for it.

Not everybody is like that though. There are nice respectful people out there. I know because I am one of those people who really legitimately likes to have conversations. It doesn't have to be all about sex or flirting. I need a lot of non-sexual communication before I get comfortable enough with a person to consider having sex. I need an emotional connection with my sexual partners or I can't get into it. I also like to have an intellectual connection with my sex partners.

If it is on a dating site, perhaps you can put in your proflie that you are not looking for casual sex or hookups and warn people not to message you if that is what they are after.

If it is not on the Internet, just politely say no.



jrjones9933
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01 Mar 2014, 11:36 pm

The one time that I seriously spent time on a dating site, I ended up joining a group that had interesting discussions among a lot of pretty smart people. Unfortunately, most of the people were in a different geographical region, so I didn't have much hope of actually meeting them in person. The site was Adult Friend Finder, but the group was so well-moderated that jerks didn't even stand a chance of ruining anyone's day.

Groups like that don't just turn up every day, of course, but you might find one if you looked around.



Aaendi
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02 Mar 2014, 12:22 am

...and all this time I thought you had to be extremely stupid to ask a random stranger for sex. It should be common sense.



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02 Mar 2014, 1:09 am

em_tsuj wrote:
I don't think you are necessarily doing anything wrong. It is just the way it is. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. They want sex, and they are asking for it.

Not everybody is like that though. There are nice respectful people out there. I know because I am one of those people who really legitimately likes to have conversations. It doesn't have to be all about sex or flirting. I need a lot of non-sexual communication before I get comfortable enough with a person to consider having sex. I need an emotional connection with my sexual partners or I can't get into it. I also like to have an intellectual connection with my sex partners.

If it is on a dating site, perhaps you can put in your proflie that you are not looking for casual sex or hookups and warn people not to message you if that is what they are after.

If it is not on the Internet, just politely say no.
I like this.
I think lots of a-Holes have no shame & are quick to act like that with any women hoping it will work. I think there are good guys on dating sites too but they read profiles & only message the people they'd like to have a conversation with or think they might be a match for so their very easily overshadowed by all the a-Holes wanting sex. You could try reading profiles & messaging guys you think you have things in common with & you can also try looking for conversations & possibly a romantic partner with members on here too. The 3girlfreinds I got I met on forums & the 2nd & 3rd(which is my current) were from this site. I posted quite a lot & they came across my post. I never had any luck on dating sites. I think I do better on forums because my personality comes out more & like you I believe communication is very important thou we don't necessarily have to have common interests, being able to relate with issues or life stuff & talking about that is good too. If you come across any posters on here you might like to chat with, you could try sending them a message or check their post history to get a better feel of them 1st.


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02 Mar 2014, 2:36 am

animegirl93 wrote:
Tell me, tell me this. Why is it that every time I'm talking to someone (guy or bi/les girl) the very first thing(weather they see my picture or not) that comes out of their [email protected]#$ing mouths is "Will you [email protected]#$ me?"
No, #$%hole I want to have a decent conversation. I'm NOT a stripper/whore/hooker or whatever. I mean is asking for a decent conversation too much to freakin ask for in this day in age? I have NO CLUE what I'm doing wrong.


o.O
they are out there. I never talk about sex out of fear. I also prefer to talk about interests and romance. Interests first, then eventual romance(cuddling, hugs, kisses, flowers etc) to see if we are common on that level, hugs and cuddling is important to me. only ever got to sex talk after a long while.

I can only speak to me, I don't message women anymore. I only look and hide the ones I know won't talk to me. where as you as a woman get thos messages a lot, guys like me get equally ignored. I wonder how many people actually find someone.

animegirl93 wrote:
I don't know. the places where that came from was high school, College (HACC), eharmony, match.com. If they're not good places to look, then where do I look for someone?


match.com and eharmony are horrible, only people who pay can send messages, and I would imagine the guys wanting sex are able to pay.

I use okcupid and plenty of fish
or if you're able to do more social stuff I guess clubs, bars, parties, singles meet ups, etc.

I take it you like anime? Lots of people are into it now so hopefully that will help. I don't know where to find others anime people though I've only met others randomly.



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02 Mar 2014, 3:01 am

This is generally the norm for most females. I don't see why you let it bother you, just forget about them and move on.



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02 Mar 2014, 4:38 am

animegirl93 wrote:
I don't know. the places where that came from was high school, College (HACC), eharmony, match.com. If they're not good places to look, then where do I look for someone?


They're good places, you just have to learn how to weed out the douchebags from the dateable men.

If you're looking for men online, I don't care how attractive or unattractive you are, you have to be prepared to deal with a mountain of perverts. "Cause that's what you're gonna get, a bunch of unfiltered testosterone.


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02 Mar 2014, 4:57 am

She said les/bi girls too so it's not a testosterone problem.