Is ignorance bliss?

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Hi everyone.

Lately I've been thinking about this topic, but admittedly in not too much depth. And from my understanding that is because there is no need to. Yes love and dating has it's complications but will there ever be solutions from dissecting it like an alien?

I don't know how to word it as such but I feel all the over analysing, worrying and wishing to fully understand this whole scene takes away from the enjoyment and puts people off of us. Even if we manage to rationalise certain issues (hello nice guy threads!) How does it change anything?

Even though I'm still single I've decided to let go of all that and I feel happier for it. That happiness has extended outwards and life is now less of a headache (as is this topic). Just even discussing a lot of the topics I've seen here feels toxic in a way and has a negative influence on cognitive thought and behaviour towards the subject. It's partially why I reduced my activities here.

Does anyone feel the same way about L&D as a topic and with the boards?

yep
I almost stopped using this site altogether because of the toxic nature of many threads here. I really hope it gets better.

I think a lot of the threads here are therapy. People talking about things they might not want to bring up with family & friends. These people are too close to you & could be uncomfortable.
I kind of appreciate that others are feeling the same way about things & have the similar apprehensions. (Nobody I know is single.) When people are in long, longish term relationships, I don't think they remember or empathize well with Singles. (short term memory loss?)
They forget how odd it feels to walk into a restaurant alone, because they haven't done it in so long. (or a movie, or a concert )

I agree completely.

I've been on it a lot in the last 2 months because I quit my last job and I'm currently in the process of moving to a different state to go to school.
This is probably my last month of posting a lot on this website and in this section because I'm moving the 17th, and starting school the 24th.
I'm a really active person in whatever school I go to in terms of organizations, clubs, other activities etc, so I'll be pretty busy.
I come here a lot now because in between packing, getting things in order and playing video games, I don't really do much else.

I'm so glad I'll be starting school soon.

Good luck with you move & school.

I'm coming at it from a different angle. I'm happy being single. I don't really have trouble with dating, my issue is with being picky. So I come to this forum mostly to try to help others. My advice/ideas are rarely very well received so I see what you are saying. I've been thinking very recently about not participating in L&D threads unless I really feel the OP is open to hearing people's ideas.

Thanks NinsMom!




I agree. When I first started posting in LD, I was in a relationship, now I'm happily single and I don't have any issues dating but I do enjoy talking about or reading other peoples' struggles/issues/thoughts, and being able to maybe give some advice of my own.
However, in the past 2-3 weeks or so there's been posters who repeatedly ask for help/advice about the same thing and don't really change/listen/whatever. It's not like I expect people to listen to everything everyone says on a forum but if a person keeps making threads asking for the same/similar advice and making excuses why things can't change, it's just like there's no point in making these threads or continuing them.
It's aggravated me enough that about a week and a half ago I installed the SuperBlocker Google plus app so that I can block this particular forum for a while so I don't blow up at some of these particular people. When I start school this website will be blocked anyway because it sucks up way too much of my time.

Don't leave! I really admire and enjoy your levelheadedness and think you have much to offer here.

Same to you, MadeUnderground!

^ Don't worry, it seems I can't help myself, I have just responded in another thread without even realising
And thanks, I'm glad you value my input, I feel the same about your posts Eureka.

When your advice is quite good and complete it's far less likely that someone will write something else.
You've heard the term, "Hard act to follow?"
This is inherent with humans anyhow, the fastest way to get someone to start talking is to say something they know is inaccurate!
It's also a significant flaw with webposting. You don't see all the people reading it and nodding in agreement of even writing down what you said.
But if someone thinks you're wrong, ba-boom there's a comment.
Trolls, stoopid people, poor hurried readers, and assh^les are a much larger group than intelligent, thoughtful, (redundant because you already said the right thing), helpful people with extra time.

I'm sorry if it seems that I'm arguing with your statement of your perceptions, I don't mean to imply that your post isn't well received, or to criticize you.

Originally I came here to help even though it was really me that needed it. Now I try to do what you do which is avoid topics where the help isn't wanted.

As far as dating goes, likewise I am picky so won't fault that.

I think my last nice guy thread has revealed a lot of toxicity here lol.

Amen on that, the short term memory thing is very true.

Yeah. Being alone can suck and a little guidance along the way can help people out. I guess my topic is not so much about people generally in need of help but are looking to avoid what they see as failure through figuring out some sort of code, method, logic, reason or whatever..when there simply isn't one IMO.

Have any of you played Mass Effect? I am under the impression some people treat social interactions just like in that game, and yet seem surprised when the person they are interested in does not respond in the same way as they would have in the video game. Or in other cases there is dialogue from person A, and person B is coming here asking which option to pick to get their desired result. Because any advice would only be to help them "achieve their objective" their happiness is short-lived. They'll be back asking for more walkthroughs rather than taking enjoyment in saying what it is they really want to say and living with what follows thereafter. Person A will also tire of them as Person B is no longer the person they were into but a slave to box-ticking their way through an empty relationship based on the idea of not being alone and not failing rather than being happy in the moment or with any decision that is made.

You could say love and dating is more fun and stress-free when you stop trying to figure out how it works and just enjoy it for what it is.

Maybe ignorance can be bliss, it depends on the circumstances.

If I knew in (say) 1980 all the things I know now then my life would have turned out quite different. I certainly wouldn't have followed up so many dead ends and a couple of really bad decisions wouldn't have been made. I'm also going to pass on my knowledge and experience in the hope that, sometimes, it may help. This may be in the Love and Dating section but it could also be anywhere else on the site. Wrong Planet is a good place for people to get answers but it's also an amazing resource and by using the search function you can probably find the information you need.

However.......................

For a long time I've adopted the attitude that I don't worry about things I can't change. I don't therefore read the endless texts about climate change and how the world is ending because it isn't my problem, and the same attitude applies to many other topics. Sure, I have a basic grounding in the essentials but that's it.

So, ignorance may be bliss, it just depends on the circumstances.

If I get advice given to me, no matter how objective it may appeal to me, if it is the right kind of advice I'll take it. How can I dispute? If someone is telling me something, and I don't want to hear it, but in the back of my dome, I know its right, then I need to STFU and heed that advice before I get an 'I told you so'.
I like learning from others. Its how you ever learn. Just when you give me the advice be gentle at least. Lol