Hate people discussing sex

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For some reason, and I do not know what it is, but I despise the neurotypical obsession with sex and anything related to the libido. That is not to say it is not an enjoyable and worthwhile experience but considering the spectrum of things you could talk about, it is such a primitive subject of conversation that it does not require any thought or analysis. It just appears crude, vulgar and most of all boring. I especially REALLY dislike people who 'show off' about their sexual exploits and wear them as medals of their masculinity, talking about how many girls they have had sex with and so forth. If the experiences you have had with women were pleasurable and you have done it many times, then fine, good for you, but surely the experience is enough in itself and a relaying of such experiences in unnecessary. Just keep it to yourself and then we can both be happy. Anything that is overtly sexual I also really dislike. As I said, sex is fine but it is when it is shoved in peoples faces such as in most modern movies, rap music, newspapers and so forth it just becomes tiresome. Can anyone relate to it? I feel like I am surrounded by people unable to control their primitive desires. Sorry if I sound like a complete arse.

I can definitely relate to it and it annoys me a lot too. it would be nice if these people had something intelligent or worthwhile to talk about instead.

i would not be surprised to find ourselves in the minority.

FYI i am male (to help identify any trend).

I don't completely agree with you but I think I understand what you mean.

I totally agree about that. And more generally I think the problem is that, as it is often the case with NT social interaction, a typical NT discussion about sex is usually actually not a discussion about sex (= people exchanging information about sexuality). It is an attempt at bragging, impressing/crushing other people, maybe making yourself look more sexually desirable, whatever, I don't really know. But the point is that it is just a social game and I find it deeply stupid (and, in most cases, deeply sexist too).

The point on which I don't agree with you is that despite that state of being, I think sex is an interesting and worthwhile topic for discussion. The direct consequence of people not being able to have real discussions about sex (because of the "bragging" pattern mentioned above and more generally the social taboos around sex) is that so many people have a miserable sexual life. Because they don't even feel comfortable enough to honestly discuss sex with their partners, and their only sources of outside information are completely biased and inaccurate (pornography, cultural and religious norms, lies from other people who want to show off, etc.). It is just not true that there is nothing to say about sex. I believe anyone in a long term relationship who has been able to achieve true communication about sex with his/her partner can witness that the more you can freeely talk about sex, the best the sex is. It is just a pity that that kind of communication is so rare.

Very well said! I live in the USA and sex is pushed at us from every corner. I want to scream "Everything has to reproduce! GET OVER IT!! !! !" It is too defining in our society. And I agree... it is as crude to talk about that as it would be to brag about how many bowel movements a person has in a week. They are both nature acting as nature. I don't care about either.

Maybe I'm just jealous that other people can get a partner?

and I just found out that there doesn't seem to be a smiley that represents XD which is closer to what i wanted.

It annoys me too. And when you're a woman, your reproductive organs are also talked about in normal conversation with friends, family, and strangers, because for some odd reason, they want to know if you want to have babies. I'm not sure why me having babies affects them? Unless they're saying they want to set up a fund to pay for my future child, that would be nice. But otherwise, not sure why it's part of a normal discussion!

I also find it very vulgar and annoying. There's a variety of things that people can talk about. Why do they always have to choose that topic. It seems that many NTs have a one track mind and it leads to sex. I wonder if they're doing it to get a rise out of me for s**ts and giggles, or if they talk about sex all the time.

100% agreement here. it's pretty disappointing to be surrounded by so many who are stuck in such an early stage of psychosexual development (according to Freud anyway).

wikipedia's entry on "psychosexual development" is a fun read

stage 3 in particular is probably harder from which to graduate when, as stated, such a subject is perpetuated by your culture (as is the case in the US).

the remedies, i imagine, is to either a) change the culture, or b) separate yourself from the culture, as uncomfortable as that may sound... who wants to part with their beloved cable/wifi/media?

any interest broadcasted is subject to exploitation by charlatans... sad truth. as OP said, it's everywhere. movies, music, television, cartoons, magazines... also the fashion/retail and toy industries. when it's "popular" it's hard to avoid on its own, let alone the shades of criticism you get from the "group" for attempting to do so.

another fun read: wikipedia's entry on "herd mentality"

It annoys me a bit, too. But I'm asexual, so naturally I'm not that into sex, and other people's obsession with it feels kind of like I'm among sports fans constantly discussing football when I've absolutely no interest in it.

I actually have a pretty "dirty" mind and an ability to make dirty jokes if I want. I do, sometimes, because my friends laugh. It doesn't really annoy me that much. I've accepted that they talk about things I'm not interested in sometimes, and I'm okay with that. Friendship isn't about having a hive mind!

But unlike the OP, I'm not actively uncomfortable with talking about sex. To me, it's a physical function, a social activity with psychological effects, that I simply happen not to be interested in. I did get interested in prenatal development when I was a teen, and I researched sex when I was figuring out I'm asexual, so I actually know more about sex than most people, at least theoretical stuff. But I don't think I would be very good at it, and have no desire to try.

It doesn't bother me at all when people talk about sex. I like sex myself, and I am always thinking about men and really craving for sexual affection. I have never actually stayed overnight with a man before, although I have had sex before in the day. That's not good enough for me though, I'd like to actually experience a romantic night in with a man I love. But I suppose being shy and stupid like me you get nothing you want.

But anyway, yes sex talk has never disturbed me. I cringe more when people bring up Asperger's Syndrome in a conversation.

I feel the same way as the original poster, that it should be private. I don't understand how people can be so public about it. I just keep my stuff private and let other people be who they are. I am not interested but I accept the fact that they are interested.

Pal, you have a good point.
I think libido and the power of lust is being commercialised so much I guess we subconsciously lost contact with it. It might actually be because some of us can't associate physical intimacy with strong emotions like passion and, well, love. Or it might be because you're actually asexual, like me. Either way, I think the fact that we're aware of this is pretty awesome. Woo!

I'm asexual too, and I guess I'm basically confused why anyone cares about sex, but I try to respect the fact that it's important to them. It's like when people ramble on about their special interest, and you just patiently let them talk, even though you have zero interest in the subject yourself!

I do struggle with the fact that my favorite actor (who I like for the character he plays) is seen as a sex symbol by others, and is marketed that way in the media. It gives me kind of an icky feeling, and I don't like thinking of him that way.

sorry it's really late here (4am) so this likely wont make sense. But i think I want to revise my position. I dont hate people talking about sex necessarily. I dislike their ego being somehow implicitly tied to it.

i wonder if there is sex without ego?

damn you mudbug... getting me to read freud at 4am...

Based on the Adult Autism section quite a few on the spectrum like to talk about sex. But I would agree it is more of the "exchange of information" type of discussions rather then braggadocio, giggling and gossip you see in many NT sex discussions.

I was told as a kid it's inappropriate to talk about sex but people do it anyway so when I start talking about it when others bring it up, it's so "wrong" for me. My husband told me it's things I say in it and my mom said the same too and told me it's not something you can teach so it's best I don't talk about it.