I can certainly see why some people are single.

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hale_bopp
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16 Mar 2014, 1:16 am

I answered a question that I would be a bit wary if people had heaps of female friends on ok cupid.. sort of seems like "nice guy syndrome". He asked me what my problem was with "having female friends" and I replied saying that he read it wrong, it says "a huge amount of close female friends".

I got this in a message:

Dude... please don't make assumptions about how I read a question. Especially one that doesn't clearly imply anything let alone your interpretation of it. It's incredibly rude & presumptuous.
A man can have as many friends of the opposite sex as he wants or feels comfortable with, there is nothing at all unhealthy about it. Just because you know of a lecher or two that orbit women with high-hopes of something more than friends doesn't mean you should paint my entire gender with the same brush.
The question could just as easily imply insecurity over perceived competition, it doesn't specifically say anything about gender. There's no reason for me to read that and think it has anything to do with girls who are constantly friend-zoned and have dozens of male friends but no female friends. As much as there would be any reason for me to think there'd be something wrong with that if it did.

Besides I have lovers from my old commune that I'm still close friends with today. They easily outnumber my guy friends and it has no inverse effect on my health or masculinity whatsoever.

I'm sorry if that sounds like I'm being mad at you, but I would kindly ask that you lean back from it a little so you can look at men with a little more consideration and understanding.

But getting off that topic and back onto what initially caught my attention... your Majora's Mask is unbelievably badass and I'm envious of your heart container.
Actually all of that was of a mouthful and tangenting it with Zelda was kinda knobish. So my apologies x 2. My name is, and sometimes after coming home from protest marches... I get a little passionate :P

f*****g loser. As if I would want to meet someone who goes on like that.



Last edited by hale_bopp on 16 Mar 2014, 4:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

newageretrohippie
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16 Mar 2014, 1:32 am

Wow...from total douche to suddenly mentioning Zelda & offering a compliment....and he actually thought he'd get a response?

Thanks for sharing that one, I actually feel like less of a loser myself after reading it :)


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Jono
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16 Mar 2014, 1:34 am

I don't get it, he's right. There's nothing wrong with a guy having lot's of female friends and calling him a loser for that seems bit disingenuous to me.



coffeebean
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16 Mar 2014, 1:37 am

Jono wrote:
I don't get it, he's right. There's nothing wrong with a guy having lot's of female friends and calling him a loser for that seems bit disingenuous to me.


Agreed. He sounds no worse than anyone here when they've been offended, and his perspective is a valid one.



hale_bopp
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16 Mar 2014, 1:47 am

The way he went on was ridiculous. If you don't like someone's question, write them off and move on.

Shows a lot about his personality, regardless of what he ranted about.

I wouldn't message a Christian and rant about how their beliefs offend me. I write them off and move onto someone who does interest me.



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16 Mar 2014, 3:19 am

coffeebean wrote:
Jono wrote:
I don't get it, he's right. There's nothing wrong with a guy having lot's of female friends and calling him a loser for that seems bit disingenuous to me.


Agreed. He sounds no worse than anyone here when they've been offended, and his perspective is a valid one.


I agree with him, but if it was in response to a simple profile question then it's a bit of an over-reaction.


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16 Mar 2014, 4:02 am

He sure knows how to impress a lady. Righteous indignance is so hot /sarcasm



hale_bopp
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16 Mar 2014, 4:15 am

coffeebean wrote:
Jono wrote:
I don't get it, he's right. There's nothing wrong with a guy having lot's of female friends and calling him a loser for that seems bit disingenuous to me.


Agreed. He sounds no worse than anyone here when they've been offended, and his perspective is a valid one.


We all know the people here have the best personalities of the bunch, too.



coffeebean
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16 Mar 2014, 4:30 am

hale_bopp wrote:
coffeebean wrote:
Jono wrote:
I don't get it, he's right. There's nothing wrong with a guy having lot's of female friends and calling him a loser for that seems bit disingenuous to me.


Agreed. He sounds no worse than anyone here when they've been offended, and his perspective is a valid one.


We all know the people here have the best personalities of the bunch, too.


True. Starting a thread about someone's social faux paus on an autism forum where strangers can rally behind the offended party to rag on the offender where he can't defend himself isn't so great.



hale_bopp
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16 Mar 2014, 4:31 am

I'm quite happy to private message the guy a link to this thread if the fact he can't respond to the fact his ridiculous message got made public in a place with no-one he's likely to care about bothers you.

He called me "incredibly rude & presumptuous" for suggesting that perhaps he read the question wrong, after I responded to another first message he sent me which I did not post here. He asked me a question in which I answered honestly, not brutally, which resulted in the hissy fit posted here. If you don't want an answer or an actual opinion, don't ask the question.

I'm sorry that you feel bad for him, I certainly don't. I haven't said anything here that I haven't told him directly.



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16 Mar 2014, 5:39 am

I am with hale bopp on this. Her attitude towards men with female friends is certainly no worse that the attitude of many men who don't see a problem with only allowing for slim women to be interested in. Her view on this matter is not impacting on other people at all, just her own life and whoever has the audacity to suggest otherwise needs to check their issues of grandiosity and knowitallism.



hale_bopp
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16 Mar 2014, 5:49 am

The fact is, I did not even provoke him about it. He made the first move attacking me for having an opinion that differed from his.

I would understand his reply if I had messaged him saying "you're a nice guy" - which I certainly did not.



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16 Mar 2014, 6:56 am

I have no idea what the guy did wrong :|


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16 Mar 2014, 7:25 am

^^^ I don't either. He was responding the interpretation made, and then basically ended with showing it was principle vs personal.



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16 Mar 2014, 7:25 am

The responses to this thread are a reminder as to why I frequent here less.

Bopp, am I right in thinking he initiated contact based on your profile and that was his response after you kindly (and briefly) suggested he misread something on your profile? If that is the case I can definitely see why he's struggling in the dates department. What was he expecting you to say and why on Earth was he so bitter and ranting? Hell knows.

Everyone, even if the guy in your mind had a point you have to remember there are certain levels of behavior and respect you'd expect from one another on a dating site and on the forum. I can relate to the awkwardness in his communication but it would be irresponsible to enable it IMO.