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billiscool
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04 Apr 2014, 7:33 pm

I don't get how some Aspie are able
to go to bars,nightclubs,parties on a regular basis.
I've tried them,and they were too stressful.

I don't get how you guys can do it,how can
some of you aspie have a very active social life
without getting stress out.

I wish I could be more social,but anxiety
and stress get to me.



kraftiekortie
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04 Apr 2014, 7:46 pm

I know this sounds simplistic: but you have to keep plugging away.

From what you've written, people have come up to you; you have an appeal which I don't have; nobody's ever come up to me like they have come up to you.

Take advantage of the gifts which have been bestowed upon you.

You don't have to go to bars, nightclubs, etc. You could go to lectures, or you could join a club.

I don't have an active social life--never have--but I'm married. My friends are few and far between--but I'm content.



Adamantium
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04 Apr 2014, 7:52 pm

billiscool wrote:
I don't get how some Aspie are able
to go to bars,nightclubs,parties on a regular basis.
I've tried them,and they were too stressful.

I don't get how you guys can do it,how can
some of you aspie have a very active social life
without getting stress out.

I wish I could be more social,but anxiety
and stress get to me.


I've done it when it was the price of keeping a relationship or job. But it takes days to recover afterward. I don't think you could do it regularly without collapsing.

Are there really aspies who have an active social life and don't get stressed? I thought that having trouble with social communication was part of the first criterion of both the DSM IV/ICD Aspergers and DSM 5 ASD, no? How can you be an aspie and have that kind of life?

Maybe Paddy Considine, but who knows what he goes through off camera.

Have you met someone like that?



AutisticGuy1981
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04 Apr 2014, 7:58 pm

billiscool wrote:
I don't get how some Aspie are able
to go to bars,nightclubs,parties on a regular basis.
I've tried them,and they were too stressful.

I don't get how you guys can do it,how can
some of you aspie have a very active social life
without getting stress out.

I wish I could be more social,but anxiety
and stress get to me.


I've only ever been to nightclubs with my ex wife just the two of us, I don't think I could do it to pull women as I don't have any rhythm so don't dance and I'm not likely to talk so what's the point.
I also didn't know I was autistic back then , I'd be more against it now
If you aspies are desperate to get laid try and find a grab a granny night :lol:



linatet
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04 Apr 2014, 8:11 pm

I wonder the same thing!
There is this guy in my college I suspect he has aspergers. I am not sure, but based on his stimming, weird body language, avoiding eye contact, general weirdness, weird sitting positions and poor handwriting... I could say yeah, he may be an aspie.
But he is popular! Just, like... This is so unfair :? How can we both be aspies if he has no problem interacting and everyone knows him and I... and I am me?



linatet
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04 Apr 2014, 8:14 pm

I am still trying to figure out what is the secret of making weird = cool
Between awkward and eccentric there is a great gap and I am still trying to know what it is.



billiscool
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04 Apr 2014, 8:59 pm

Adamantium wrote:

Are there really aspies who have an active social life and don't get stressed? I thought that having trouble with social communication was part of the first criterion of both the DSM IV/ICD Aspergers and DSM 5 ASD, no? How can you be an aspie and have that kind of life?



there's been more than few members here,that's were
very popular with people.Which mean,they had a very
active social life. I don't care about how many
dates or friends they have.How were they able
to socialize and meet people so well..



Radiofixr
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04 Apr 2014, 9:05 pm

I have gone and tried and got very distressed and distracted and overwhelmed so I do not go and it seems I will be alone for the rest of my life since that seems to be the place to go to meet people-the smells and noise and lots of people are very overwhelming and I just cant do it


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Adamantium
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04 Apr 2014, 9:09 pm

billiscool wrote:
Adamantium wrote:

Are there really aspies who have an active social life and don't get stressed? I thought that having trouble with social communication was part of the first criterion of both the DSM IV/ICD Aspergers and DSM 5 ASD, no? How can you be an aspie and have that kind of life?



there's been more than few members here,that's were
very popular with people.Which mean,they had a very
active social life. I don't care about how many
dates or friends they have.How were they able
to socialize and meet people so well..


Maybe they have helpers of some kind? Maybe they are physically attractive and they have NT go-betweens of some kind so they don't really have to actually get to know people or make first contact with people or make an effort?

I also wonder how being popular isn't exhausting. When I socialize with people, I have to give them 100% of my attention to have any idea of what's going on. That makes group conversations in bars or sort of cocktail type things pretty close to impossible. I end up sitting in the corner, unable to follow any sentence from any person.



InTheDeepEnd
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04 Apr 2014, 9:09 pm

Oh having done it, I can tell you. You get there really early before everybody else gets there, and get filthy stinking drunk. Then you aren't anxious and don't know you're awkward. Used to go all the time with my best friend. Would not have gone by myself, though. Never met anyone but that was not why I was there. I outgrew that phase, thank God.



Radiofixr
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04 Apr 2014, 9:13 pm

I get sick from alcohol-its a problem as I have to take alcohol free liquid medicines and even the smell of alcohol makes me ill so that leaves out bars-which exist to serve alcohol-out for me to find a person.


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FireyInspiration
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04 Apr 2014, 9:27 pm

I've been to bars and nightclubs, had some good nights and some boring ones. Its not something I do often though.

To answer your question though, aspies aren't all extreme introverts, the same way not all NTs are extroverts. While an extroverted aspie is still probably relatively introverted, some can hold their own in highly social situations, just not to the extent of extroverted NTs.



mr_bigmouth_502
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04 Apr 2014, 9:49 pm

Everyone's different, and some aspies don't have the same social anxieties many of us do. Not to say that they're as naturally accustomed to socialization as NTs are, but extroverted aspies are a thing.

I'm an introvert for the most part, but once in a while I like to go out on the town, though usually only if some "liquid courage" (a.k.a. alcohol) is involved. I don't usually enjoy being at a bar or party unless I'm at least somewhat tipsy. :P



em_tsuj
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04 Apr 2014, 9:58 pm

I was intoxicated the whole time. I wouldn't recommend it. Alcohol is a dangerous drug if you abuse it. you lose all ability to control your actions, end up doing some really embarrassing things.



Sweetleaf
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04 Apr 2014, 10:32 pm

I certainly cant do it on a regular basis, but on occasions I can deal with bars and parties and even enjoy them of course it helps if I have a couple beers and maybe smoke a bowl some bars really dont care if you go out back to the smoking patio and smoke weed(at least in colorado though it is kinda kept on the DL)...but yeah I don't get how people can do this on a consistant basis.


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Sethno
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04 Apr 2014, 10:57 pm

billiscool wrote:
I don't get how some Aspie are able
to go to bars,nightclubs,parties on a regular basis.
I've tried them,and they were too stressful.

I don't get how you guys can do it,how can
some of you aspie have a very active social life
without getting stress out.

I wish I could be more social,but anxiety
and stress get to me.


I hear you.

Some on the spectrum apparently don't have that vulnerability as a major symptom.

You, tho', may have a strength in some other area that they don't have.


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Your Aspie score: 100 of 200 / Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 101 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

What would these results mean? Been told here I must be a "half pint".