When I was in 6th grade, my teacher, that sorry excuse for a human being, complained to my parents that I wasn't paying attention in her class, and wanted me tested for ADD/ADHD. (It was 1995, when no one knew about AS.) They immediately agreed without question, because had a tendency to view all my teachers as demi-gods. So I was tested. I had to do a battery of tests, which lasted about 3 hours in total, including bathroom/water breaks. In the end, I was diagnosed with "immature emotional development". Here are the worst of the tests I remember doing. Some names may not be exact, but still descriptive enough.
Rorschach test
Result: FAIL!
It was kind of a fun test, coming up with what the pictures looked like, and what made them look that way. But I did very poorly on it. Apparently, the correct answers must include human elements, with animals an acceptable second choice. It's also permissible to mention famous works of abstract art. Instead, I mentioned video game characters and violence (fights, blood, etc.). Fail!
Picture sequencing test
Result: FAIL!
Again, fun test, bad result. I had to arrange pictures to make up a story. I enjoyed the process of arranging pictures and being creative. But silly me talked about events, physical objects, and weather phenomenons, rather than the kids in the pictures. And I made my stories too dark and realistic, rather than sickly sweet that the "correct" answers required. Fail!
Hypothetical situations test
Result: EPIC FAIL!
The shrink asked me what I would do in certain situations, such if a neighbor's house was on fire. First, I'd give the most obvious one, like "call 911, and let them handle it". But apparently, it was a mind game, because she asked me what else could be done. So I said that I'd climb in through the window and dump buckets of water on the fire. Apparently, I wasn't supposed to say that. Epic fail!
Kinetic family drawing test
Result: SUPER EPIC FAIL!
My shrink told me to "draw my family doing something on a regular day". My relationship with my family at the time was horrible, so I couldn't think of a single thing to draw. Plus, I couldn't draw people correctly to save my life. I knew that would totally skew the results against me. So I had a panic attack!! ! Good thing she was nice enough to exempt me from the test. Super epic fail!
Another time, when I was in second grade, and less suspicious of adults, I drew a much "funnier" version of my family when I did this test with a school psychologist. On the usual 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper, I drew two houses. In one house, I drew my parents with neutral faces, whose pictures resembled figures on restroom signs. In the other house, I drew myself with a happy face, resembling a men's restroom sign figure, only smaller. Next to myself, I drew something that was supposed to be a dog, and put "x 10" next to it. I also drew something that was supposed to be a cat, and put "x 10" next to it. (It was a shorthand for saying I had ten dogs and ten cats.) Between the houses, I drew a double-ended arrow, and wrote "100 miles" above it. After I was done, I added a road between the houses (somehow I "knew" it was supposed to be there). When my parents found out, they were angry with me for "drawing silly pictures for someone I was supposed to be serious with".
Etymology for all this: I really wanted a pet when I was a kid, but my parents were very much against it. Plus they yelled at me and punished at every opportunity they could spot. Hence, the shorthands for pet ownership and the "100 miles".
06 Apr 2014, 2:56 am
