Overwhelmed by restaurant menus?

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Hey, so I was wondering.

Is anybody else just completely paralyzed by restaurant menus if they don't have something you *know* you like? My wife loves going to these nice restaurants where they *just don't have hamburgers* or anything like that -- no burgers, no chicken sandwiches, nothin'. It's all this weird nice food, and I just sort of shut down and I have to have her pick something for me. It's really embarrassing because we often go with groups of friends.

Similarly, on one of our first dates, she wanted to grab lunch at Whole Foods; the sheer size of the menu, coupled with the crowd, freaked me out to such an extent that we just had to leave.

This happen to anybody else?

The best bet is to go for the "dish of the day" whatever it is. All too often in the past I ordered something obscure on the menu and everyone else ordered something "normal". Everyone else ends up half way through their dinner before mine arrives. Also if you go for the dish of the day you may get a better sized portion too and have a better meal - generally because that dish is quite popular.

yeah I have that problem with choosing meals everywhere unless I, like you said there is something I know I like and have had before, I can spend up to 30 min if left to myself deliberating on what to have, it also makes me anxious sometimes.

usually when I am out I am with my parents, so I ask my dad what I should have, he knows me better than I seem to know myself, a lot of the time though there is something I know I will like, If its fast food my rule is that is has to be vegetarian, I am a bit obsessed with food poisoning.

I once got into an unfortunate cycle of having chips every lunch time at my college because I found it too stressful to change it, even when I went to the cafeteria with the thought of getting something else I always came out with chips, seriously unhealthy, took me months to get out of that.

I'm overwhelmed only when it's a really large menu with lots of choices, but I'll only end up picking something like steak or a burger that I know I'll eat.

I am usually paralyzed because there are so many thing that I cannot eat, but I don't want to be "that person" who quizzes the waitperson with all my questions.

I try to pick something simple, something I'm certain no one can screw up, but I have been reduced to tears when the server brings my food out and I discover that, no matter how much I may WANT to eat it, I cannot eat it.

The tears comes usually because I'm hungry, which puts me in a bad place in my head and my emotions, plus now I know I have to speak with the waitperson and it's too much like a confrontation, which freaks me out.

I LOVE food, so having all these limitations makes me sad.
I'm sorry your experiences leave you feeling paralyzed. If I'm going to a new restaurant, I usually check to see if they have a menu online - it makes me feel better knowing what to expect and already being familiar with the menu items. Good luck!

_________________
Diagnosed with High Functioning Autism well into adulthood.
It's never too late to get a diagnosis.
Hell, I thought I was just weird.

i can (obviously) come off as really abrupt and my tone can sound sharpish, so feel free to ask me to clarify

I'm a bit strange. I usually go to the same eateries or cafes if I am going to consume foods when I am out and I usually have the same order. I also have a favourite seat, which hopefully is not occupied by someone when I go in there (sometimes I have to sit in my back up seat instead as someone else is sat where I usually sit so...)

If it is a new venue, due to my being paleo, I choose the items on the menu that don't contain grains and which are meat or fish and vegetable based. Although I don't consume dairy much at home, I will consume small amounts when I am out and about.

Yes, but when there are many options. Choosing things make me craaazy! It doesn't have to be a restaurant or food, just give me a few options and I will spend a whole hour considering everything and all the information to make the BEST choice. I actually wrote a theory about it.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp5961365.html
The name of the topic is "I think I found the difference of aspie decision making". I really want to know you guys opinion on that! It is about optimal choice and rational choice theory
restaurants are specially hard because I am picky with food. Not only I don't eat most things but also depending on the smell, color, consistency and which food touched which, I don't eat it. So when I go out I usually make an excuse for not ordering anything or order something very simple like a chocolate pizza. Being picky brings me an incredible amount of attention I want to avoid.

Every aspie has their weak point and with me it's food. My diet is VERY selective to the point that when we go shopping I get the same stuff every week. Most restaurants I can just about handle because I can always find something plain on the menu but stuff like foreign restaurants, forgetaboutit! Greek and Turkish places seem to cover everything in yoghurt or olive oil, Italian restaurants have lots of tomato dishes (and I don't like cooked tomatoes) and the list goes on.

My favorite places are the roadside diners in the USA. Want a hotdog without mustard or ketchup? Coming right up sir, enjoy your meal I once ate a steak the size of a dinner plate with five fried eggs on top for breakfast and I was OK for the rest of the day.

That happens to me sometimes even though there's usually at least one meal on it that I do like, I'm just not familiar with the menu and it's like I temporarily forget how to read, or at least process what I've read. My mother and I go out to eat about once a week, just the two of us, no wonder she always still orders for me. I really don't have the "picky eater" aspie stereotype, however, and most restaurants where I live have "normal" kinds of food that I like: Chicken, pasta, pizza, burgers, Chinese food. Actually, if western-made Chinese food were anything like what they actually eat in China there would be a lot more bugs and things with tentacles, and no fortune cookies!

I get so irritated with people who give me too many choices.

Even in restaurants I'm familiar with, where I've long since narrowed my favorites down to just one or two, I can still agonize for half an hour just picking between the two - and on those extremely rare occasions when I get daring and try something new, I almost always end up feeling disappointed that I didn't just get something I knew I would like.

It really gripes my cookies when I try something new and love it and the restaurant chain pulls it from the menu and they never offer it again. I'm still PO'd at Pizza Hut for not making the Priazzo anymore and they stopped offering that back in the 1980s. And Burger King - why did they even create the Extreme Cheeseburger, if they were only going to tease me with it!?

It always reminds me of the time an interviewer asked Albert Einstein why he wore the same suit every day. He said "Oh, I don't wear the same one- I have six of these, so I don't have to waste time staring into the closet every morning, deciding what to wear."

Yes I also get very confused by looking at restaurant menus, it has nothing to do with being a picky eater though, because (at least now) I enjoy very much to try new food. The problem is just that there is way too much information, way too many different combinations of ingredients I've never seen combined before. Particularly for pizza perhaps, how can I know if "z + y + x + w" is the best (or "optimal" as the last post noted) to try, at least when I haven't tried it before, as opposed to "a + b + c + d", or "z + y + a + b" for that matter, etc., etc. Although I don't eat out much, the last times I've realized the best way to do it is to just pick the first thing I see that looks good then "close my eyes" and not overanalyze everything too much. Easier said than done though.

I often find there are only one or two things on the menu, because I don't like mushrooms, shellfish, chocolate sauce, nuts, including coconut and almond, and a few other things. But then when I find myself at a place where there is a big choice that I'll eat, I get really dismayed and anxious. I'm almost wishing some of the dishes had mushrooms, so that I wouldn't have to make up my mind!

Yeah I relate to this. I love food, so my problem is not because I am restricted to only eating certain foods. I get caught up in making the perfect decision. I don't eat out much so I want to get the best meal I can and make the most of it. So I sit and read and read and read over the menu. Even if it is a small menu with few options I still take ages over deciding which dish to selec.t