Is this a meltdown...

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I know I am awaiting to hear back about an assessment for an ASD but I wondered if I described one of my upsets if anyone could tell me if it's likely to be a meltdown or other issue. I am still not sure if I am on the spectrum.

1 They can happen when I become too emotionally upset or when I am over stimulated by too much to do at once or too much stimuli or too many changes to my expected routine for the day. I am not all that keen on sudden changes unless it was my idea and if that is the case it's not sudden anyway as I would have been chewing it over in my head for hours beforehand.

2 At a lower level I will rant to myself about what has bothered or upset me

3 If it amplifies I will start yelling to myself. If it is a particularly bad one I will either smash or break something (rare), scream and cry (more common) and/or hit myself on the head or a combination of all 3 (usually the latter 2).

Once it is over it is over. I tend to return to normal. Although I may have a sore voice box, sore head or feel sleepy.

I do not have symptoms like shortness of breath, pins and needles or anything else resembling a panic attack. It looks more like a temper tantrum but they happen when I am alone and in distress. It is usually when I am overwhelmed by something...by anything actually that overwhelms me.

Losing my temper actually feels different. When it comes to that I just feel irritable and crotchety. I may complain to myself about stuff but it won't escalate (not all of my emotions overwhelm me as not are intense enough to do so). Ie if I was driving a car and someone cut me off, I'd probably feel annoyed, raise an eyebrow and think to myself "they are going to kill someone one day". I would not get out of the car and attack the person or scream at them. Although people tend to think of me as an angry person I am not, when I have my upsets it means I am not able to cope with something going on around me or inside of me.

Does this make sense to anyone? And is it likely to be a meltdown or have my drs/therapists missed something mental health wise?

Accompanying symptoms that make them think ASD? Intense interests, very bad social problems (inability to make and maintain friendships resulting in social isolation, inability to work due to difficulty coping with social interaction) and physical sensitivities (difficulty with loud noises, crowded places (too much noise), materials such as pure wool and clothing tags etc, difficulty with eye contact (bit distracting) and various other quirks I think are normal (they are for me as I've always had them) but other people think are weird. Not sure if I stim unless rubbing pieces of silky material because I like the sensation counts. I carry a piece with me and rub it intermittently throughout the day when I feel like it> I call it my tickle. I developed the habit when I was very young. I also talk to myself but that is not only a way of soothing myself but my way of processing my thoughts. I am a very loud thinker....I make comments to myself (which often make me laugh, my brain finds itself funny sometimes :O ), i practice upcoming conversations or meetings with people, I sometimes give myself a running commentary and sometimes I talk as though I am talking to an imaginary friend (there is no one there and no one talks back...ie I don't hear or see things that don't exist).

My therapist wanted me to be assessed for an ASD as she thinks it is Aspergers. She said my self esteem was healthy and that my social anxiety was too mild to be causing the problems I am having socially. Most of my thinking is not congruent with a Social Anxiety diagnosis apparently.

But I know that a lot of things can look similar. I could have a combination of things such as depression and a personality disorder...

I am not sure either,but I have three kinds of reactions to annoying things, exhaustion or emotional overwhelming. Usually though they are all linked to exhaustion and stress + sleepy or hungry. Exhaustion would be by too much stimuli and/or socializing too much and/or too many things at once and/or not having time to be by myself and rest
1- cry and stim
2- cry and yell and break things
3- mood disruption and stop reacting
I think they are all meltdowns. They overlap and I may switch from one to another. I think what you describe is meltdown too. my meltdowns feel like there is something compressing me and them it explodes and I lose control of what I am doing.
last one happened yesterday, I go to bed everyday at 10 o'clock and it was already 10:30. My father was talking to my sister by Skype and he said: come say hello to your sister. I reacted very badly because I was disrupted and yelled something back and went to my room and cried and stimmed without knowing exactly what I was doing. Then it was over and I went to bed. I am not usually that moody but this weekend we had gone to a family gathering and I was so tired + stress of exam week.

Oh wait, did you want to talk about meltdowns or about whether you have aspergers or not?
honestly, if you think they are lots of overlapping conditions you probably have aspergers. In my case I thought it was introversion + highly sensitive (emotional sensitivity + sensory processing issues) + social anxiety + executive dysfunction + lack of social skills + generalized anxiety + prosopagnosia + gifted. It ended up it was aspergers. That happens because as a syndrome there are manifestations of lots of traits that individually may be something else but together form aspergers.
and I am curious, what are typical thoughts of social anxiety?

Either, both.

I am told that the typical thoughts of social anxiety are worry about things like blushing and feeling embarrassed about that and what others might think. When she said about being worried about such things I responded with "why what is wrong with blushing" which is not the usual reply that people with social anxiety make apparently.

I have some nervousness when talking with new people I don't know very well but that has to do with a history of being bullied and social pressure to have to always think of things to say. I am slightly shy but not enough to warrent the social difficulties I am having. Aside from which it is more complex than that as even if I do go out and meet someone (which I mostly don't, my attempt to chit chat with people seems to go nowhere) I am not always able to cope with social obligations without having an upset (introversion and not coping with lots of socialising without being overwhelmed by it) or cope with complex relationships. So even if I do get past any shyness I feel it doesn't make any difference.

She was going to contact me about getting a formal diagnosis and support with an Aspergers group (she was supposed to be referring me on and was going to let me know what was happening) but she has not yet contacted me back (she said she would ring me last week). She thinks my low mood is being caused by my situation (bit socially isolated) and that its best to get me help with that as its affecting my mental health. I don't have an appointment to see her again.

Maybe she forgot about me. I don't know whats happening now.

Should I contact her or wait? I don't want to pester.

I am not always very good at being organised with this kind of stuff.

More upset that I don't seem to be able to get much help with things one way or another.

Thank you to the people who were nice enough to respond. I don't know why everyone here hates me, maybe its may attitude towards people but I don't blame myself, lots of people here must have meltdowns and hardly any want to contribute? That is just spiteful and proves my point about the human race being unkind (excluding the few who did respond).

I shalln't come back here again, I am obviously not welcome.

Obviously I am being ostracised here as well.

Perhaps I upset their ego and they are now being nasty and childish. I have lost my patience with humans and I don't see the point in socialising with most of them anymore.

Nasty people.

And I don't think I have Aspergers any more.

People on the autistic end of the spectrum are just as nasty as those who are off it. I'd never be that mean if someone needed information and I could help them. People deserve the attitude they get from me for being so judgmental and spiteful.

I must have something else....

The people (excluding a rare few) on this planet are awful creatures.

Dear Bumble, I don't understand what upset you so much but I hope you don't stay away too long. I certainly don't hate you. I rather like you very much. I was going to respond to your original post as well. So here is that.

First of all, it sounds like what you described could very well be meltdowns. People melt down in different ways so this could be a way for you. It does not sound off from that possibility at all.

Secondly I would contact the lady and follow up on the process for your diagnosis. I think you should get one. It would bring you peace of mind and answer a lot of your questions and relieve some stress for you and since it is free in the UK I see no reason why you should not do it.

I wish you the very best Bumble. Like I said, I really do like you and I like seeing you here and reading your posts. Sometimes I start threads and get very few responses and they just kind of wither away but that does not mean that people here don't like me or don't appreciate me being here. I am sure it's the same for you.

I am having a bad week. I am probably in need of a break from the internet as it was internet commuications that started it in the form of a two hour speech by someone who was seemingly as high as a kite insisting that I confess I am not perfect (when I never said I was perfect in the first place), ranting at me about my communication style again when he knows I am awaiting an assessment for Asperger's/ASD and claims to have the disorder himself (self diagnosed), going on and on and on about how I will be alone forever as I have pushed the only person who would want me away (him, I did not want to date him) and so on which was followed by his sending me emails from another account when I blocked his original one.

This is why I avoid drug users. What do they expect when they act like psychopathic stalkers because you don't want to date them.

I thought I had gotten my mind off it, but apparently not.

That was hotly followed by an argument with the electric board who has messed up my direct debit payment and are being difficult with my next payment now, demanding that I make them two payments in one month. I have lodged a complaint but have not heard back yet.

That combined with the therapist not getting back to me. I am horribly depressed tonight I admit but have no more appointments booked with her as she felt I'd be better served by seeking a diagnosis of Aspergers and getting some support with that via any local support groups. I feel like I am stuck in limbo. I can, it seems, attend some without a diagnosis but don't feel right turning up if I am not on spectrum and there is something else wrong.

Plus I asked the job center about retraining for when I need to go back to work in the future (disability payments are a bit too unstable to rely on long term and I'd like to get back to work anyway) and they have not gotten back to me either when they said they would make an appointment for me.

And I still cant tell if I am having temper tantrums, meltdowns or a mixture of both....

I just want to know if I have aspergers or not. I don't know if I am coming or going. And I am annoyed with the high dude and the electric board.

Bad day.

Oh goodness, It has been a deluge of rough stuff for you. I am sorry you have having such a bad time. Hopefully it will start to turn around soon. I am glad to see you here though. I will send you big hugs and good thoughts so that things start to look better for you. I hope you get this diagnosis straightened out soon because it will bring you so much relief to know. Please let us know how it all turns out.

Hugs,
Skibum