Will you marry my needs?

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A great article about how to choose a life partner

http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.html

Highlights:

As if it isnt hard enough meeting anyone, what impossible odds must it be to meet the right one!

I dunno. I think...well, this sounds like it was written by a young person. Older people seem to face little stigma, at least from each other, when they do what they feel, so long as they're not awful to their kids in the process. I don't think anyone expects Grandma not to date, but if she doesn't want to, that's cool too.

I think the early-adulthood stuff is really just about having kids, because it's true, there are limits, even if you're a guy. (I know a guy in his 60s with a second family, kids ages 5-13, and man, it's tough on him. He's old, he's tired, and even though he's retired, those kids are a lot of work. His wife worries about the kids going through adult life without a dad. And I get that. She and I are middle-aged now, and we're responsible for families; we're the grownups, we know how to take care of stuff, and when our parents die, we're sort of ready. I think it's been much harder for friends whose parents died early.) And it is much easier to have kids within a partnered/married context.

I think also this idea of a "life partner"...eh, this is something for young people. If you happen to get one, that's great, but most people wind up single or divorced, with a series of partners. Which makes sense. People change as they go through life, what they find important changes, what they want changes.

So yeah, I agree with the "marry early if you want kids" thing. You can get divorced later -- it sucks, but unless you married someone horrible it's only a year out of your life, and that's with kids/custody involved -- but your parenthood window doesn't last forever.

That sums it all up right there im now the guy on the staircase!

^ Read the article.

Déja vu.

^ Ewww.

the article claims that choosing a life partner is entirely within your control.

Um, no. No, it's not.

It's at least equally dependent upon a hypothetical other person, and whether they want you as well. If such a person does not exist, it's ENTIRELY out of your hands.

Ok I read the article great article and good advice.

Great article. I'm definitely that huge weirdo who tries to find a partner methodically. I do want to raise kids with a husband, which makes my choice of partner infinitely important and difficult. Arg.

I met my husband before I learned of my ASD but he loves me none the less.

I just wish there was more understanding towards my quarks, I think if he met me knowing of my ASD before hand it would be easier for him to take them more seriously.

We have been married 7 years and together 8, so it is hard for him to see me differently I guess.