New, gay, middle-aged and recently diagnosed

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OK, I'm new to this forum and indeed all this HFA / Aspie thing. However, I'm struggling in part. On the outside everything is OK. Inside I feel like I'm lost.

I know this may be a long-shot but .... any gay guys here who

1. are middle aged
2. have been in a straight marriage for a number of years
3. manage people

Rgds

Seamie

Welcome! I was diagnosed last year, and was in a gay relationship for a number of years. I'm betting there is one or two WP'ers who are in line with what you are looking for.

Hi Marky,

Thanks for the welcome. What are WP'ers?

Seamie

I'm normally great at working out accronyms.

WP - Wrong Planet LMAO ..... DUH!! !!

the OP is doing relatively well to have been married and managing other people.

Yeah, you're right. Thanks. I am lucky. That was part of why I asked if there were any other folks in a similar situation. The 'me' in his late 40's in many ways has little ressemblance to the me as a child and I can't help wonder what made the change? Was it the influence of others combined with my desire to achieve? One example of this was when I was living in the UK, a friend of my sisters was preparing me for an interview and commented that I wasn't going to get anywhere unless I made eye contact with people when they talked with me. She wasn't the first to say it to me but was the first whom I accepted as 'neutral' and thus giving me honest advice. So, over time I've learned to look at people. I can do it when they're talking or when I'm finished a sentence but I still find it difficult to look at someone 'mid-thought' (if that makes any sense).

I can look people in the eyes alright but I am not good at metering eye contact to the point where it creeps people out.

I'm not sure I get your point, 'auntblabby'. Perhaps you might elaborate?

sorry I wasn't more clear- IOW, when I look at people [or they look at me] I don't get that psychic "eyes boring holes into me" feeling that a lot of aspies have described, maybe it is due to my general [psychic] cluelessness in general, IOW people can look at me and unless I see them looking at me I won't have a clue. but in terms of looking back at people I can't appropriately judge how much eye contact to make so either they think my eyes are "shifty" or they think I'm boring a hole through their head. does that make sense to you?

I think I get that, the whole eye contact thing Blabby. I think maybe I learned how to do eye contact, but I'm not very good at it since I'm really just faking it. I did a presentation once and in the peer review one woman said I made "too much eye contact with her" like there was no one else in the crowd. It creeped her out. I'm guessing she was just in my "stare spot"

I've been guilty of doing that during presentations.