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TheValk
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13 Apr 2014, 6:25 am

I often find myself speaking to people considerably older or much younger than me in the same way, as if they were equal to me in age and experience. Is this a common thing for aspies? Does anybody manage to work around it?



iammaz
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13 Apr 2014, 6:30 am

i dont know if it is a common thing but i am the same way.
usually there isnt a problem so i dont see it as something to work around.



BornThisWay
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13 Apr 2014, 8:09 am

It's one of the hallmarks of Aspies to be socially more comfortable with people who are not the same age. Either younger and or older friends are quite common. It's the same age peer relationships that are more difficult and rare to achieve.



RetroGamer87
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13 Apr 2014, 8:50 am

Yeah. I often get on fairly well with older people. Even when I was younger. Some say this can be improved by being an only child because you interact with more people who aren't your siblings. And when I speak to kids I sometimes end up confusing them. I know they won't understand me if I speak on an adult level but I don't like talking down to them because that just feels too patronizing. Catch 22.



poppyfields
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13 Apr 2014, 8:54 am

I struggle with other 20 somethings. I don't and never drank, or have one night stands, or go partying so I relate better to older people who are past that stage or to children.



Sylvastor
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13 Apr 2014, 9:21 am

poppyfields summed up what I was thinking.
I just don't get that partying mentality, it is rather annoying me so I stopped interacting with people of my age unless I know they have a lot of common with me/share my way of thinking.

I think it might be an aspie thing to "neglect" the age difference and just talk with someone on the same level as oneself.


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League_Girl
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13 Apr 2014, 10:24 am

I have the opposite problem. I have a hard time talking to small children and that includes my son because they are so limited and so is their language. My son often asks "what?"when I talk to him and I try and keep it simple but he still doesn't understand. With adults and teens, I can talk to them fine no matter what age they are. But when they are younger, I just never know because their parents may not want them to know about certain things and I would hate to get in trouble for it. I wouldn't tell them about politics or fetishes or what I heard on the news or tell them about religion and me saying there is no god and I don't believe in religion and church is a waste of time or tell them there is no Easter Bunny or Santa or the tooth fairy. Those are things for parents to talk to their kids about IMO, not anyone else.


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kraftiekortie
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13 Apr 2014, 10:42 am

It's because society, in general, has gotten more informal. This phenomenon is found among NT as well.



Sylvastor
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13 Apr 2014, 10:43 am

Well I don't think I can deal well with children all too well, so I avoid them (somehow missed the children part in poppyfields' post :lol:).
To name an example:
I had no idea how to take care of the daugher/baby of my cousin some years ago when she told me "take care of her, I'm just going to buy something in the market nearby and be back in some minutes". I was absolutely overstrained with the task. All I did was waiting, I guess I was lucky she fell asleep really fast. I had no idea how to talk to her or interact with her. :lol:

My previous statement was a bit vague, so I'm going to be a bit more precise: I get along better with older people actually, but not children.


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poppyfields
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13 Apr 2014, 10:54 am

To be fair, I only learned to talk to chipdren because my job duties require it. I used to be very scared of children.



ZombieBrideXD
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13 Apr 2014, 11:48 am

i tend to get along with children better than my peers, i also get along better with some adults. i think its mostly because my peers are morons


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Rocket123
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13 Apr 2014, 12:07 pm

BornThisWay wrote:
It's one of the hallmarks of Aspies to be socially more comfortable with people who are not the same age. Either younger and or older friends are quite common. It's the same age peer relationships that are more difficult and rare to achieve.


Interesting topic. The Asperger’s Quiz (http://aspergersquiz.com/) asks: “Do you have fewer friends than others your age”?

The people I consider friends (it's less than a handful of people all of whom I have known for > 25 years) are all my age (~50, chronologically). However, none of us are that age emotionally.

One friend is 50, unmarried, didn't go to college, works at a youth entertainment center and lives with his parents. One friend is 50, married w/o children, didn't go to college, works as a delivery driver, and oftentimes acts like a teenager. Another (who I don’t see often) is 50, married w/o children, but hangs around others (plays sports, etc.) who are in their 20s and 30s.

I don’t have any friends who would ordinarily be considered “peers” – married, with children, graduated from college, etc. I think it’s an emotional maturity thing.