Hi guys! First time poster here!
I did read a lot of stories and it seems there are variations in AS. I see some post as people accused of "selective" memory to try to self-diagnose, kind of 'forcing' the diagnosis. I also find that people are often dismissive of AP, as though Aspie is an exclusive club of sorts. The thing is, I don't really care if I am a member of a club. I won't go around saying "omg check me out I'm unique!" I just wanted something to explain everything and AS just stood out, and it was primarily the aspects *beyond* ‘social interaction.'
By the same token, I think many people who appear to have AS --and may indeed do have it-- misdiagnose it because of how they process the information upon careful examination, even though they find things that "jump" at them when they read it for the first time. I think it's the approach of 'quantifying' abstract matters and the absolutist approach. The diagnostic system is too vague when it comes to social interaction.
The way I approach matters is case X is only possible if A, B and C are present. If A and B are present, and C does not exist, then there is no case X. A lot of criteria are vague, when I’m looking for something specific than ‘social awkwardness'
I understand why there is trepidation in diagnosing AS.
First, let us start with the 'common' and 'widespread' symptoms that can be presented in many cases. For example, difficulty making friends, or social isolation, or awkwardness. Second, a lot of people have particular interests, and everyone is unique. Aspies are no different. That happened to me, as it did with many kids. It was a cause of frustration for my parents. I have zero problems explaining this to you because this will likely be dismissed as selective memory. My approach to diagnosing SPECIFICALLY AP, out of all kinds of “disorders,” is through EMPIRICAL and PHYSICAL manifestation.
Indeed there are certain elements in AS, or even ASD that truly STOOD out to me in addition to 'problems socialising or making friends'. Things that superficially have no apparent correlation with "inability to socialise." It's about how my brain functions and processes information.
Let me explain myseIf always knew I was 'different.' I saw different specialists and I was just diagnosed with depression and social anxiety. But deep inside I knew there was a bigger yet hidden problem that I can't pinpoint to.
I read about personality disorders, and I can relate to many of them. But when I looked up Aspergers, it just hit me right then and there: OH MY EFFIN GOD! THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!! !!"
What parts of it made me cheerful?
The gait: Ever since I could remember, I've ALWAYS been mocked for the way I walked. I walked on my toe and had a bouncy gait. To describe it further, I would walk in a bouncy manner, chest protruding and head looking ahead. I was always told to walk 'normal.' At 26, for the most part I walk 'normally' now, but the problem persists subconsciously. When I am excited and happy about something, and deep in my though, I would walk on my toe. Granted, I don't 'bounce' anymore but I would still toe walk.
Literal interpretation: Even something as literal as "literal interpretation" seem to be interpreted differently. Granted, at 26 I am "more aware" of the intricacies of language (will explain that later), but they still persisted.
(PLEASE do not take the following as 'anecdotal evidence' (there are a LOT more examples0! I just want you to see the way I "literally" interpret things, if these even constitute the literal interpretations.
a) In boarding school, I had a Japanese friend. I told her about how I would love to go to Japan. She said, and I'm paraphrasing, that 'you should definite visit! we'll hang out, I'll show you around." Later that night I called up my mom telling her "mom, I want to go to Japan. My friend invited me." I remember even mentioning this to my high school counselor who laughed it off and told me she didn't mean it literally! That when people say things like we should hang out or hit me up sometime, it's not a literal request you should follow up on.
b) This one is literal but 'different.' I apologise in advance but there was this joke that if you put "80085" in a calculator, it'd look like "b**bs" (censorship mine). I kept staring at it wondering what the hell? It doesn't look like "b**bs" at all. Everyone just said "I don't know how to explain it! It's right there!" It was only after a long period of time, when I explained how maybe the "two zeros" in that number may contribute to that interpretation, my friend finally explained it: 'it looks like the WORD "b**bs" not a "weird" display of the body parts!
c) Concepts that use unusual wording: Money laundering. When I first heard it on the news, and even subsequently after and for a long time, it conjured up the image of putting money in laundry machines, or washing them, and then hanging them to dry. I never knew the purpose behind it but I just accepted it as is and never questioned it. I mean now, I know it’s something illegal and has something to do with money, but that image ‘persisted.’ Same thing as "waterpolo." I mean, part of me "knew" it didn't really involve swimming with horses, but that's the image that conjured up, and persisted, in my head.
Interests: I think this part is often dismissed because I have interests that other consider normal, but my “approach” and reasoning is different. One example is Russian language. This is after I learned Spanish. And in both cases, it was self-taught. I took advanced courses to ‘formalise’ my knowledge but I rarely studied and I aced them anyway. In high school I performed poorly in other subjects because I wasn’t interested in them. In languages, I aced without any effort.
what others think:
a) I like the culture, the literature, the country and so on, so I learn the language to expand my horizon and learn about cultures.
b) the reality of it: I love grammar. I love the structure of language. I love noun cases. I LOVE conjugation. Why? It’s just systematic, orderly, categorised. I love how each grammar of each language I learned is unique, and I love the similarities and also vast difference even in historically related languages. For example, both English and German are Germanic languages. In German, the verb almost always the second element of the sentence, unlike in English. “Ich liebe dich” (I love you), and “heute gehe ich in die Bar” (I rarely go to the bar. Literally: rarely go I to the bar”) but I also notice that this rule is used in English with “have” or “do” (rarely DO I go to the bar, never in my life HAVE I seen this).
Again, those are the aspects that do not apply to social settings (except, to a lesser degree, literal interpration). I could explain my situation with social interactions if you want.
But right now I want to see how common is differentiating AS from any other disorder by way of empirical and physical manifestation. Why isn’t this approach taken? Why is it ignored?
16 Apr 2014, 5:11 pm
