When to tell an employer

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I am seeking a second part time job next to working on my real estate license for my first position. I had attempted to work at a kid's salon. I managed to mention to the employer during the interview that I have ASD. Instead of keeping things professional she started asking all kinds of inappropriate questions.

Examples:
1. Where are your parents?
2. Do you have a social worker?
3. Do you get special services?
4. Do you stay by yourself?

When is it appropriate?

In the United States, there are legal issues that come into play in this context--but regardless of what the legal situation may be, the interview is a personal encounter and it's fine to educate the interviewer. You can tell them about your degree of independence and identify those areas where your specific needs, strengths and weaknesses might impact your performance on the job. They will probably appreciate your honesty.

If your autism is unlikely to have any impact on your job, then there is no need to tell them about it

I agree... if it doesn't impact your job it shouldn't matter.

In the vast majority of cases, I wouldn't disclose that I have an ASD. What's the use? It's also ripe fodder for blackmail later.

NEVER disclose that you have Aspergers!! It is a toxic label!

I have been on the job market a few times before. As a general rule do not disclose AS until you are already working there, everyone knows you're a good worker and even then only to people if you think they are trustworthy. I personally do not disclose my sexuality, religion or any 'disabilities' because none of them are relevant, impair my work or require reasonable adjustments.
People should not discriminate but they will!

(In the UK i notice disclosure forms say 'do you feel you have a disability?' in which case I think it's reasonable to say no if you don't feel AS is a disability)

When that other interviewed me had thrown all those questions at me, how should I have answered that?

Especially if the answer is "no," you should just tell the truth.

Well, I would never disclose I have Asperger's since I don't have one. I'm dx'd with F84.9 according to the ICD. I've already hinted to my boss that I have some kind of diagnosis but told him I will never tell him what. Hopefully he took it as some kind of silliness or joke. He is actually very open towards disabilities, as both of his children have some degree of learning disability, his son is mild, but his daughter is moderate. Disclosing a diagnosis can be very dangerous though, it can come back at you like a boomerang, undermining your reputation and respect.

I did a group interview in December of last year and I kept fidgeting and the owner/interviewer picked up on it. She knew something was wrong but called me "Quirky." I did not tell her that I have ASD but I did mention that I have ADHD. They also did a job shadow with me the next day and discovered some more things about me that seemed off and decided not to hire me.

I would never disclose my AS, unless I needed accommodations, and even then not until I had already secured the position. I don't even discoose my physical disability (low vision) because I think it outs me in a negative light.

I don't really ever purposely disclose. I think a lot of co-workers will make their own private guesses. One of my co-workers was telling me about her grown son with Aspergers one day and I was able to explain one behavior that she found odd. Afterwards, I did tell her that I have been diagnosed with AS...and she said she thinks she may have it also. It was a nice moment. She isn't a boss of mine in anyway, which did impact my willingness.

Positive comments relating to stereotypical ASD strengths and weaknesses seem to outweigh any negative comments. At my last job, I think a co-worker assumed and towards the end of it (I quit with a long notice), she told me that she appreciated the extremely long hours of focus I had for my work and how she'd never seen anyone capable of that.

Once at my current job, when a social and speech blunder was embarrassingly glaring in front of my boss, my boss defended me saying I was "the resident genius" and had co-workers willing to "take on" anyone who bothered me. (I am most definitely NOT deserving of the pedestal I seem to be placed on, but I work in a field that is unlikely for an ASD person to choose...and my skill-set is less common there.)

At my current job, I know several co-workers know because they know other members of my family who have told them. That happened before I got the job. I never knew if my boss knew, and anticipating that she might, I included some of my strengths on my cover letter (with specific examples/outcomes/proof) that are undoubtedly common for ASD people.

In my interview, several questions were asked about my speech and social ability. I anticipated these questions (it comes up in interviews because I cannot speak well...so of course the employer will need to know how that will work on the job). I addressed many of these in my cover letter (in a completely positive-only way), but was able to provide examples of how I made my speech work for me at past jobs.

For instance: At my last job, I wrote scripts before making any phone call, I wrote sticky notes before I left my desk if I was going to speak with someone...and then often when I'd find them anyway, I said a well-memorized script, "I thought I might miss you, so I wrote it down. Would you like to just read this?" -- I found most people preferred to read it anyway. I managed over 50 people...but because I was the boss, all notices were emailed (and/or posted), and any question/task for me was put into a book--> so when people came to ask something of me, I'd always ask that they wrote it down in the book and I would get to it. It became incredibly efficient and my speech was not an issue whatsoever, but my efficiency was always noted. (Frankly, I think having every single person write down their message has every single one of those people feeling like I would get to each of their issues...at least once I had proven myself. How often do people feel like every thing they ever need to tell their boss will be heard? There were definitely some benefits. ).

In this last interview, I was honest (when asked) that speaking in a social "chit chat" way was my biggest weakness. Luckily for me, one of my biggest communication strengths (solving complex problems or dealing with irate customers--for which a time delay is significantly more appropriate) was something they needed. I was proactively placed to pair up with someone who would handle the chit chat if I would handle the complex issues.

Now, it's not completely rosy. My boss still is not happy with my speech inabilities and that was noted in my last review. I possibly *could* go find some legal things and fight that in some way, but I don't want to. Honestly, I have a job that does require a decent level of speech. And it's a job I care about...enough that if I wasn't the right person, I'd rather someone who could do it would come instead. It's not "just a job". I just upped my speech therapy frequency, instead.




Anyway...that was way more than you wanted to know, I'm sure. But, I think it's useful to show your strengths--be they ASD-related or not. I think it's also useful to have plans for overcoming or working around your weaknesses and to be ready to explain how in a job interview. I think it's very liberating to work in a place where people understand you fairly well. I don't think disclosing a diagnosis is the easiest way to get there, however. Especially not with this diagnosis since people on the spectrum vary so much that it's quite a gamble that it would inform your employer anything about you anyway.

What you wrote was very interesting. Especially in reference to how you frame cover letters; as well as how you adapt to your speech difficulties. You are very resourceful.

In my last successful job interview, I was honest about a few areas where I'm not as skilled, but I treated them all as separate quirks that could all be dealt with. Most interviewers end up asking about weaknesses, and I responded that I have a tendency to be too detail-oriented and not see the big picture, or that sometimes I'm too caught up in rules or procedure to make a pragmatic decision.

I NEVER mentioned my diagnosis to my boss. The only two possible outcomes are being given the job out of sympathy, or being rejected based on your label. I'm not okay with either of those.

I did but only when employed and under duress. My boss is awesome.

I work security at a hotel and just had my90 day review with my boss. He's talked to me before about how I'm great at the security part, but REALLY need to work on the customer service aspect (smiling, greeting, engaging small talk). He'd spoken to me about it at least 3 times before. I always wanted to say something about AS, But I didn't want to say it and have him not know exactly what it is and treat me different, and i especially didnt want to say anything because I was afraid it may come off as just an excuse to defend myself. During my review all I mentioned was I have anxiety issues that Im always to improve upon and did'nt bring it up earlier because I didnt wanna make excuses. He said he appreciated it and would continue to help me. work on it.
But I don't think many managers are going to be that cool with everthing,.