There's just something about...

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Hi, I've been a diagnosed aspie for several years now. I'm 28, and new to the aspie forum world. I also live in an area that isn't large enough for aspies to get together.

Anyways, on to the point of the reason why I'm here. It's about a girl. Not just any girl either. I first met, let's call her, Brittany in kindergarten. I've had crush on her since I met her. I was in her class until grade 5. That summer I switch schools and didn't see her for years. After I switches schools, my crush on her started to fade away.

I had a few girlfriends after that, but nothing since the end of grade 9. I've had many bad experiences with women, and no memorable good ones. So, the dating world seems scary and daunting. I wait and wait before even asking someone out. Which always ends with some kind of rejection.

A couple years ago, I had seen Brittany for the first time since elementary school. She was being interviewed for a job opening. Lo and behold, she gets the job. Not only that, she works on the same part of the building I work. Almost as if faith had brought her back to me. And all my feelings and various memories come flooding back.

I did ask her if she wanted company to a movie she expressed interest in seeing, but she was going to be out of town the weekend it was showing. When that failed I asked her to coffee but never responses to my Facebook message. She did read it. Since then, I haven't asked her out, even though I really want to.

I even asked her good friend (or bestie) and a few months later, her mom, if she was seeing anybody. Never did act on it though. Too scared and shy.

I've tried to forget about her and try to move on. But like many smokers trying to quit, never lasts too long and I fall for her all over again. She even makes my knees weak, leaves me speechless from watch she wears to work.

I don't know what to do. It takes quite a bit for me to even talk to her. More than it usually takes to talk to people. There's just something about her that draws me to her. I can't explain it. No one has ever had this affect on me before

Here's the bad news. I don't think she's into me. But that could be the fear talking. So I don't put myself out there and stay single. I did catch her starring at me a week ago or so. Seen out of the corner of my eye. When I turned my head, she turned back to her computer. But that also happened in a few seconds.

What should I do? I don't know. I really like Brittany. I think she may know I do, but I never formally said anything. Nor have I consciously did or say anything specific that I like her. Even though I have posted that I do like someone on Facebook. I refused to name her because she is on my friend list.

Help!! !

I have had crushes that I knew would never work and had to purposely keep space while I saw them incidentally every day for a few years.

Back off, stay away. Be purposeful about staying away unless she expresses clear interest (otherwise you just seem stalker-ish and set off all sorts of inner alarms in girls that exist to keep us safe).

I know it may be hard to absolutely impossible to keep your mind away from her until you find someone, but you need to, or you might miss the gal who has mutual affection for you.

So keep doing what I'm doing and don't tell her I like her. Got it. I'm used to doing that. Plus, being that I hardly do speak to her, because it's hard for me to do so, I don't think I'll need to worry about coming across stalker-ish.

I'm aware of the red flags women get, as well as other information. Thanks to audio books.

I figured that she might be one of those that you want but are better off without. I just wanted some opinions.

The bad part about dating where I live is that it's a small community. So, there's not much for potential. It's almost feels like I'm going to be stuck taking whatever I can get or be single forever. Which, feeling like I'll be single forever, is something I fear may happen.

Wouldn't mind getting a few more opinions. See what others think as well.

she's not interested and didn't respond to your facebook messages because she wanted to make it clear and not encourage you to pester her any more.

Truth hurts move on or she will think you are stalking her and being weird

She definitely knows you are interested. Her friend and her mum would have told her.

I feel for you. I've been there. This was in the days before facebook, but I've had invites ignored and text message and emails not replied to. Those have been the guys I had no hope with. I've learned that if they like you they respond and want to arrange to spend time with you.

Unfortunately I realised this the hard way and actually told these guys that I liked them because I thought they were being dense and didn't get the point of my messages. Turns out I was being dense and they were just trying to avoid me and then becuase I told them how I felt they had to directly tell me that they weren't interested. That was pretty awful.

She's not into you. I've deeply embarassed myself by not understanding that ignoring someone is a subtle form of rejection. If someone connects with you, they make time for you even if they're busy. I spent 5 years obsessing over a boy who couldn't give two s**ts about me. Put your energies elsewhere as this is not going to end well and you could miss out on other ladies while you're hyperfocused on this one.

Alright. I had a suspension that this may have been the case. Guess I will have to do a better job at trying to get over her. Not sure I will accomplish that yet.

Also, I'm not actually sure if I will ever find someone that likes me. Or should I say fear that this may be the case. It very well could be that I am just in the wrong location. Small rural communities sucks in terms of dating potential. But I think this belongs in another thread.

It has happened again. Something has happened that makes me think that I might have some chance with her. I know that that can't be true. But I can't help the feeling that there's a reason why this keeps happening. Almost like it's meant be.

Also, I'm afraid of just waiting for someone to show interest in me before I do something. Because I always do this. I've got to take some kind of chance at some point, don't I? I'm not saying it has to be with her.

I don't know. I'm okay with being single. What I'm not okay with is being single for all of my life. I'm afraid that I might be in a rut that I can't get out of. I'm afraid that I don't have what it takes to get a girlfriend.

And if you are wondering what happened that gave me a glimmer of hope. She facebooked me and asked a favor. My reply, which was me just being me, made her laugh. And it wasn't an "lol" but an "haha". I know it's nothing though. It's also the first time someone laughed at that lame joke I always make. Which is "I ate it". Example, if someone is looking for something, I typically reply with "I ate it".

Nope, that doesn't mean she's into you

The fact that you can't forget about her makes me think there's hope for you. Just not with her. If you get nervous talking to her imagine having to talk to her every day.

So... She asks you a favour and the two of you share a laugh and you think this is a sign? I really do hope that is the case, but I think she is just asking for a favour and that is it