Aspies dating Aspies...

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It's not uncommon for me to see Aspie guys here who think their Aspergers entitles them to be a jerk & expect their NT partner to to take care of them like their mom did or should of when they were little.

Really? That's aweful. Why would a sane woman even want a relationship with someone like that. You can't have a mature, reciprocal relationship with someone that behaves like a child and expects their partner to 'mother' them.

Yeah I don't think there is anything wrong with aspies dating other aspies....I've even heard some places mentally ill people shouldn't date other mentally ill people, which is also crap. I think it all depends on the individuals involved and how they get along and treat each other and having common interests and what not. Not to mention what are the chances of finding a normal guy who wants to deal with a mentally ill autistic girlfriend? So its more likely I'd end up dating someone on the spectrum with co-morbid disorders...or not on the spectrum but with some sort of disorder.

Isn't that what children are though? They're a massive financial burden, but they stil give something to the parent that is desperately wanted -- something that can't be bought with money.

Parents like when they're children are innocent/vulnerable, because that's what makes them children, I think some part of this is preserved in a lot of aspies, giving them an ability to give an NT something that normal people won't be able to provide -- it goes beyond money.

I do think it would be burdensome to most NT's, but not all. I think it takes a bit of insight or stability to reach that sort of plateau where you can appreciate someone for their weakness and find purpose in it, similar to how a child is with a parent.

I have always steadfastly refused those kinds of relationships and am glad to have someone who does not require me to function or manage his OCPD, but benefits greatly from me. As do I from him.

You can be intimate and love someone's weaknesses without taking on the role of a parent.

OMG you give me hope

What I don't like about parent/child romantic relationships is that the balance of power is unequal & the one playing the roll of the parent eventually starts to rezent being forced to play the roll. I heard from my mom more than a few times that parents expect their rolls as parents to end or majorly decrease after the kid turns 18 & graduates or goes through 4 more years of college instead of continuing to live with & be dependent on their parents. I felt very unwanted being forced to live with my parents due to no other options. I'm dependent & have my issues but I sure as f#king hell never wanted a partner to play the roll of my mom & resent me after awhile. My girlfriend has some issues that she's dealing with & I 've been through a bad depression & anxiety problems before & know I would of done alot better if I had someone there for me so I have a strong desire to be emotionally supportive. Our relationship is kind of interdependent but we both really love each other, are there for each other, & work together so we're a great match. Neither of us is perfect but what's important is that we're able to talk things over & work on the problems together.