What the counselor said *UPDATED*

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So my fiance and his mom went to counseling together today for stuff and to talk about me. I get terrible tantrums/meltdowns and before a week ago I never really knew why. I have recently been diagnosed with Autism (level 1/Aspergers) I originally was labeled Bipolar 2 since I was 19 and have been (for the most part) on medication since. Nothing ever helped and if it DID help it only lasted for a month and then all my issues and tantrums etc would come back. I never felt I fit the diagnosis so I did research when my son started showing signs of autism. I found I fit the traits and my childhood perfectly so I went to a psychotherapist who said she had no doubt and then I went on to get evaluated. So I did receive the diagnosis. My score was low but because my profession was involved with socializing they marked me under the aspergers line (I think its stupid because I work with kids, by myself in a room)but anyhow, I got it. Now this counselor who is a grieving counselor mainly, is telling them (without even ever meeting me) that I am bipolar and NOT autistic. She had them take a Bipolar Questionnaire which if you are not me, you cant possibly answer them correctly because they can relate to Bipolar or Autism. Here are her reasons that I got while my fiance was leaving for work:

1) I would have been diagnosed by 6 if I was TRULY Autistic
2) Aspergers is not even a diagnosis
3) If I was autistic and I heard a noise, I would curl up into a ball and not move till it was over.
4) She doubts it and wont believe it till their is proof cause she says I need to be on Lithium. Fiance told her I have been on pretty much every medication and she said their is more out their.
*******oh my goodness. The stuff my fiance told me have me believing this lady is a crazy lady for sure! Here is more of what she said:
5)She believes I am lying about the WHOLE process. Since people with Bipolar are known for lying, cheating etc. going to great lengths to make them believe that I got an Aspergers diagnosis because I have not had any PROOF for them too see. Thats why she said she WONT believe the diagnosis or that I actually went to get it done till their is proof and that THEY should not believe me either. I traveled out of my way (30) minutes to get to this place three different times and two of those times my fiance and his mom TOOK ME. Yes I made the whole thing up hahahahaha, she crazy!
6) My "made up" scenario is a way for me to "convince" everyone that I do not need medication. (most people with bipolar tend to avoid medication) I have been on meds since I was 16. Why would I stop taking them now and go to great lengths to do so?
7) If I was autistic I couldnt be a good mother, or a mother at all. (she is freaking stupid, I am a good mother because child development has been my special interests since I was 5 YEARS OLD!! ! I know more than most experts)
She said the tests they took was PROOF that I was bipolar. You have to score a 6 or higher. I got a 7 on my fiances and a 9 on his moms. IDIOT! sooo many diagnosis share similar symptom/traits.
9) She says people with autism DO NOT lash out during a meltdown and INSTEAD go into their heads and become immobile. I cant be autistic and violent because that doesnt happen. (I only freak out on people when its a social situation and I cant handle misunderstandings. I do not attack people, I feel I am desperate in attempting to make the other person understand and it often turns into a violent forceful act that I can quickly redirect and put on myself. I hate hurting people cause its not my intention and i am learning to walk away before my meltdown gets to that point. Though I will often go to "my place" without warning which leaves me throwing fits like a 5 year old on the floor or bed till exhausted. Screaming is also a huge part of my process. I lose control so if your egging me on or part of the problem, yes I may end up getting physical with you if I perceive you as a threat)

What I hate MOST about this lady is her *proof* is a sheet of paper ment to be used for the person who has the issue to fill out and she said "the best thing about bipolar disorder is that you dont need the person to actually be HERE to diagnose them" WHAT A JOKE!! ! How dare she. She is not only using a stereotypical definition on what Autism is but she is ALSO being stereotypical about ALL bipolar people. My fiance is convinced she knows nothing and he says he only wants to see her again so he can show her my diagnosis papers and be like "BAM b***h" lol. I am not sure how his mom is feeling about this lady because he said he left 15 minutes before his mom so he could get to work on time. So insane that people like this have a license! ***********

I was on Lithium a year ago and it did nothing for me. What a crazy lady.I will add more when he comes home and I ask what else she said. I just cant believe this is what she thinks of autistic people. Sure, this does describe some people with autism. BUT it is not what makes us autistic. If you were to meet this lady, What would you say to her?

I have bad sensory issues.I get startled easily, I hate scratching sounds and music unexpectedly,white noise and multiple sounds make me super frustrated. I do not curl up into a ball but I shrug my shoulders an squeeze my eyes till it makes the sound more tolerable like a humming noise inside my head. I shiver and shake when I hear things that hurt and I grunt or say a scratchy AHHHH till the sound is over. I have very sensitive ears. In my head I curl up into a ball... does that count? lol

Last edited by inachildsmind on 22 Apr 2014, 2:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

Tell her she's full of the other word for poop and find another counselor.

I agree with finding another counsellor it doesn't sound like she understands anything about Autism or AS at all.

For her to say 'Asperger's isn't a diagnosis' makes me wonder if she got her diploma from a box of children's cereal.

As for 'diagnosis by age six' thing, there are plenty of people here on Wrong Planet who got diagnosed as ADULTS. That's a bit over the age of six.

She's a moron.

Do you mind if I ask about the details on how you were diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum? I'll likely be going thru it in a few months, and would like to know what to expect.

My diagnosis process was shorter than your average one. i had an interview first where he asked me why I thought I had Autism. For some reason the guy I saw did not go through all the tests I read we were suppose to go through. I feel I was cheated in some way but I guess he got what he needed from what he did. I did a matching test, where I had to recreate the tiles to the tile in the pictures. I did a verbal definition test, he asked me to define the words he said. I did a spelling test in writing and a math test verbal and one with paper. I did a fill in the blank test where I read off a ton of questions and gave him the words that best suited the question. I did a repeat test where I repeated back to him what he said to me. I did a memory test where he gave me words and then asked later on in the test what those words were. He had me take a 300 question test about moods/anxiety and I did an imagination test where he asked me to describe a pen. He also did a test about my social abilities I assume, he asked me what I would do in certain situations. That test was stupid because I misunderstood the object of the test. So I told him what I would do (if i could) not what I would do if it ACTUALLY happened. So I scored high in my social because I misunderstood his motive. So give answers YOU would give in any situation, do not make the same mistake I did and go with what you THINK you SHOULD do. We are adults so we have so much experience behind us and we are use to blending in. Just be honest and be yourself. Below is a link to a good Aspie Blogger who had the real full test done with details.

http://musingsofanaspie.com/adult-diagnosis/

what this "professional" told you indicates how appallingly unqualified they are for the position they hold. this person shouldn't be counselling anyone. i would question her credentials next time i spoke to her if i were you. and definitely find a qualified psychologist to speak to instead who has at the very least a basic understanding of what autism/AS looks like.

some people are just in the wrong line of work, and this "counsellor" is certainly one of them.

I'm grieving for this idiot counselor's missing brain and pathetic lack of education.

It's sad when they allow people that stupid to run around unsupervised. They could hurt themselves or others.

Just find out if these counselors have experience with adults on the spectrum before you go to them. I've found that the general ignorance of adults on the spectrum extends all the way to some PhD psychologists. I encountered one of this breed that loved to give personality tests, but was ignorant of the existence of diagnostic tests for adults on the spectrum until I educated him on the subject. Unfortunately, before he checked and confirmed the information I had given him, he sent away a mother and the adult son she suspected to be on the spectrum. I certainly hope they went elsewhere. My own psychiatrist would probably have diagnosed me a couple of years before he did, if he wasn't so used to dealing with autism only in children. He was expecting the same level of lack of eye contact, stimming, etc., from an adult, but I convinced him from my own research and his own feeling that he was missing something very off in me. On the other hand, every mental health professional I've encountered in the psychiatric or counseling professions who actually works with adults on the spectrum has me pegged as an adult Aspie within five minutes. In fact, a psychiatrist who knows his neurology (I also have Goldenhar Syndrome) seemed to have diagnosed me before I ever set foot in his office. (That's actually not terribly comforting, knowing that you have a congenital condition that some doctors assume renders you mentally disarranged.)

I told my fiance and his mom that they wont get the proper information for getting through things with me and understanding me if they do not seek out someone who is an expert in autism. His mom heard good things about her so went to her anyway. I do not think she can learn much from a lady who is insisting I am bipolar so greatly. One... she should not be pinning her thoughts on someone, her opinion should not take presidence over the facts and Two... She has never met me. She is judging me by whatever his mom says about me and describes situations from her point of view. Describing something you SEE is not the same as getting the proper description from what I am FEELING at the time of an incident. And since I am the only one that can describe why I react the way I do, then its obvious that my description is the only one that should be listened to as to make a clear interpretation to see what "disorder" I have. I agree that they need to see my therapist. My psychotherapist is educated in Autism/Aspergers and she is the one that labeled me with Autism 1. From the FIRST appointment. She has taught me things about myself that no other therapist has ever touched. She is teaching me coping skills and to use my stimming when needed instead of hiding it. She is going to work with my anxiety so I can learn social skills better... she truly is amazing and I think my fiance and his mom need to talk to her instead of an outsider who OBVIOUSLY knows nothing about the disorder.

cYou could always ask her if she got her collage and university certificates from a Cracker Jack box.

Absolutely, the counselor should wait to talk to you before coming to a conclusion. In fact, a third party telling her a bunch of stuff is reason to go slower, to make sure she gets the whole story, not reason to go faster. She absolutely JUMPED TO CONCLUSIONS, and I mean, OUTRAGEOUSLY. And plus, it sounds like she sees a range of human behavior through the prism of bipolar which sounds like it is her "thing." This is an example of a mental health professional I consider to be an ideologue or an egotist. It's all about her. It's all about her "being right" and being brilliant. She doesn't listen. And like you say, she really needs to listen to your human experience during the meltdowns/tantrums.

Now, your fiance and his mother are probably thinking in terms of "fixing you." That's what people tend to think about when they hear of a serious problem like autism. And it needs to be an educational process on your part, and it definitely will be a process, that being on the spectrum is part of who you are and not something you "have." That there are famous people on the spectrum, but a person shouldn't have to be famous to be treated with respect and courtesy, and so on and so forth. However you want to approach it.

And maybe present your fiance with the idea, hey, the broken parts are what make a person and a relationship special. It's not the perfect parts, it's the quirks, it's the off-beat parts, and it's the original parts.

Counselor sounds like the type of "professional" who is the majority on the DSM. Scary thing is this type of thinking seems to be gaining ground.

Many of the replies to this thread have suggested that the psychologist is incompetent, but let me suggest a different view of it. The mother has a certain view of the situation that she came to the psychologist with and the psychologist is presenting an opinion favorable to the mother's view in order to gain a client that pays $60-$120 per hour. Now I'm not saying that this is the case for sure, but it has to be something to consider because psychologists have bills to pay too. Believe it or not, that field is full of people that will toe the line of ethics. I think there is a general presumption that psychologists and doctors all follow strict moral and ethical guidelines, but that is far from true.

i agree with Rascal77s on this one

its disgusting how we get treated

i was told by a "professional" in a letter that my application for disability allowance was refused for the following reasons

1- the person must be suffering from a physical or mental illness or defect which has continued or is expected to continue for at least a year

2- the condition must restrict the person in undertaking work which would otherwise be suitable in regard to someone of the persons age and experience

my dr and my psychologist both thought it was very wrong

I would not have been able to cope when I was engaged if my fiancé and his mother went to a counselor to complain about me. I understand this isn't all on your fiancé. But I don't understand why he and his mother would go, without you, to talk about you. And not saying the counselor is doing the right thing, but I hope your fiancé is solidly behind you.

Wait,curl up in a ball