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Aspergers and victim complex

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hale_bopp
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23 Apr 2014, 2:16 am

I was reading a few threads tonight.. and It seems quite common here for people to have a victim complex.

I mean saying things like "I was geeky at school and got bullied", "I didn't date until my 20s" "I had pimples" "I asked a girl out and she said "no"

Well, those all fall under a really harsh and common disorder called "life".

Why is it so hard to put your diagnosis aside and accept a lot of the problems we face are not aspergers problems or woe is me things.. they actually happen to most people! These things all happened to me - an aspie. Also to my Mum, (NT), Sister (NT) and pretty much 90% of the people I know.



b9
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23 Apr 2014, 2:28 am

hale_bopp wrote:
I mean saying things like "I was geeky at school and got bullied"

i did not get bullied at school
hale_bopp wrote:
"I didn't date until my 20s"

that does not apply to me
hale_bopp wrote:
"I had pimples"

i never had pimples
hale_bopp wrote:
"I asked a girl out and she said "no"

i never asked a girl out and therefore none said "no"
hale_bopp wrote:
Well, those all fall under a really harsh and common disorder called "life".

since none of those things happened to me, i guess life passed me by.



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23 Apr 2014, 2:28 am

Well, not once I ever got bullied...but my classmates tend to call me 'weird', 'strange', 'enigma', and 'freak'
I don't really care though....I'm alright with it

As you said, that's called 'life'



EzraS
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23 Apr 2014, 3:16 am

hale_bopp wrote:
I was reading a few threads tonight.. and It seems quite common here for people to have a victim complex.

I mean saying things like "I was geeky at school and got bullied", "I didn't date until my 20s" "I had pimples" "I asked a girl out and she said "no"

Well, those all fall under a really harsh and common disorder called "life".

Why is it so hard to put your diagnosis aside and accept a lot of the problems we face are not aspergers problems or woe is me things.. they actually happen to most people! These things all happened to me - an aspie. Also to my Mum, (NT), Sister (NT) and pretty much 90% of the people I know.


I agree with this so much because i'm on 2 big teen forums, and a large percent of the NT teens there are going through pure hell. I makes me mad sometimes when aspies seem to act like they are the only ones who have it rough, and NT's have charmed lives. I can probably think of 100 NT kids I know on the forums that i would NOT want to trade lives with.



Last edited by EzraS on 23 Apr 2014, 4:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

Dan_Undiagnosed
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23 Apr 2014, 4:04 am

Very interesting post. I only clicked on it because I saw it was you Hale_Bopp. I was thinking about your YouTube channel the other day and was going to ask you why do you think your videos have so many dislikes? Do you think it has anything to do with your identifying on the spectrum? Why else would such an inoffensive small YouTube channel get so much negative attention? Just asking since I was already wondering about this before I saw this post.



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23 Apr 2014, 4:22 am

EzraS wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
I was reading a few threads tonight.. and It seems quite common here for people to have a victim complex.

I mean saying things like "I was geeky at school and got bullied", "I didn't date until my 20s" "I had pimples" "I asked a girl out and she said "no"

Well, those all fall under a really harsh and common disorder called "life".

Why is it so hard to put your diagnosis aside and accept a lot of the problems we face are not aspergers problems or woe is me things.. they actually happen to most people! These things all happened to me - an aspie. Also to my Mum, (NT), Sister (NT) and pretty much 90% of the people I know.


I agree with this so much because i'm on 2 big teen forums, and a large percent of the NT teens there are going through pure hell. I makes me mad sometimes when aspies seem to act like they are the only ones who have it rough, and NT's have charmed lives. I can probably think of 100 NT kids I know on the forums that i would NOT what to trade lives with.


I agree with this.


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mila_oblong
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23 Apr 2014, 4:35 am

hale_bopp wrote:
I was reading a few threads tonight.. and It seems quite common here for people to have a victim complex.

I mean saying things like "I was geeky at school and got bullied", "I didn't date until my 20s" "I had pimples" "I asked a girl out and she said "no"

Well, those all fall under a really harsh and common disorder called "life".

Why is it so hard to put your diagnosis aside and accept a lot of the problems we face are not aspergers problems or woe is me things.. they actually happen to most people! These things all happened to me - an aspie. Also to my Mum, (NT), Sister (NT) and pretty much 90% of the people I know.


I'm not sure if that means they have a victim complex, primarily because most of the time I viewed it as people were venting at a place that they felt somewhat comfortable doing so. It depends on how you see it, I guess.



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23 Apr 2014, 4:54 am

The bullying thing is kind of misrepresented. It may be that lots of children are bullied but bullying varies - some are bullied a bit here and there, and some are bullied relentlessly, and the latter is not a common experience. It is, however, more likely to happen to children on the spectrum than to many other children.

Also what Mila Oblong posted.



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23 Apr 2014, 4:57 am

hale_bopp wrote:
I was reading a few threads tonight.. and It seems quite common here for people to have a victim complex.

I mean saying things like "I was geeky at school and got bullied", "I didn't date until my 20s" "I had pimples" "I asked a girl out and she said "no"

Well, those all fall under a really harsh and common disorder called "life".

Why is it so hard to put your diagnosis aside and accept a lot of the problems we face are not aspergers problems or woe is me things.. they actually happen to most people! These things all happened to me - an aspie. Also to my Mum, (NT), Sister (NT) and pretty much 90% of the people I know.


Well yes, but I guess that AS people may have had less opportunity to find out what is normal experience, especially if they have withdrawn for whatever reason from interacting with others. WP should be an environment where people can try and sort out what is specific to autistic people and what is just everyday life.

Some of us are a bit backwards in working out how the world works.



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23 Apr 2014, 5:15 am

Quote:
The bullying thing is kind of misrepresented. It may be that lots of children are bullied but bullying varies - some are bullied a bit here and there, and some are bullied relentlessly, and the latter is not a common experience. It is, however, more likely to happen to children on the spectrum than to many other children.

Also what Mila Oblong posted.


I agree with this. While anyone can be bullied, I can see where people with ASD are perhaps more likely to be bullied and less apt to deal with it appropriately, making them more likely, perhaps, to become bullied more often and more extensively because our "easy target" ratios may be higher then NT's of the same age. It would be interesting to see some statistics on this topic.


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MjrMajorMajor
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23 Apr 2014, 5:54 am

Falloy wrote:

Well yes, but I guess that AS people may have had less opportunity to find out what is normal experience, especially if they have withdrawn for whatever reason from interacting with others. WP should be an environment where people can try and sort out what is specific to autistic people and what is just everyday life.

Some of us are a bit backwards in working out how the world works.


Agreed



Jensen
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23 Apr 2014, 6:01 am

Must say Aye! to that one.


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Verdandi
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23 Apr 2014, 7:13 am

Aharon wrote:

I agree with this. While anyone can be bullied, I can see where people with ASD are perhaps more likely to be bullied and less apt to deal with it appropriately, making them more likely, perhaps, to become bullied more often and more extensively because our "easy target" ratios may be higher then NT's of the same age. It would be interesting to see some statistics on this topic.


Here you go:

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/survey-find ... m-bullied/ - 63% of autistic children bullied, three times more likely than their NT siblings to be bullied.

New data show children with autism bullied three times more frequently than their unaffected siblings (link)

And a study: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22945284

Also another article discussing trauma due to bullying. (link)



kraftiekortie
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23 Apr 2014, 7:15 am

Bullying is a "rite of passage" for some. Invariably, for various reasons, people with ASD's will be bullied more often. I could understand the need for formal studies to confirm what is already obvious.

However, one HAS to transcend past bullying, and prove to the world they could be a success, despite a 'difference."



micfranklin
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23 Apr 2014, 7:33 am

Never got bullied at school nor had pimples, but I honestly didn't date until my 20s. Don't know if I'd call that a victim complex, just how someone went through life.



Jensen
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23 Apr 2014, 7:38 am

I would say, that perhaps the nature/focus of the bullying of AS/autistic children and youths is different.
The common (and just as harmful) subjects in bullying goes on looks, family status, who´s in and who´s out.
The bullying of AS children is often different beacuse of their naivity. They are often lured into doing things, other children wouldn´t let themselves be talked into, or let themselves be cheated/manipulated - and are made a laughing stock afterwards.


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