Aspergers and victim complex

Page 1 of 23 [ 364 posts ] Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 23 Next

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

23 Apr 2014, 2:16 am

I was reading a few threads tonight.. and It seems quite common here for people to have a victim complex.

I mean saying things like "I was geeky at school and got bullied", "I didn't date until my 20s" "I had pimples" "I asked a girl out and she said "no"

Well, those all fall under a really harsh and common disorder called "life".

Why is it so hard to put your diagnosis aside and accept a lot of the problems we face are not aspergers problems or woe is me things.. they actually happen to most people! These things all happened to me - an aspie. Also to my Mum, (NT), Sister (NT) and pretty much 90% of the people I know.

b9
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 14 Aug 2008
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,003
Location: australia

23 Apr 2014, 2:28 am

hale_bopp wrote:

I mean saying things like "I was geeky at school and got bullied"

i did not get bullied at school

hale_bopp wrote:

"I didn't date until my 20s"

that does not apply to me

hale_bopp wrote:

"I had pimples"

i never had pimples

hale_bopp wrote:

"I asked a girl out and she said "no"

i never asked a girl out and therefore none said "no"

hale_bopp wrote:

Well, those all fall under a really harsh and common disorder called "life".

since none of those things happened to me, i guess life passed me by.

Niche99
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 18 Apr 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 57

23 Apr 2014, 2:28 am

Well, not once I ever got bullied...but my classmates tend to call me 'weird', 'strange', 'enigma', and 'freak'
I don't really care though....I'm alright with it

As you said, that's called 'life'

EzraS
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,828
Location: Twin Peaks

23 Apr 2014, 3:16 am

hale_bopp wrote:

I agree with this so much because i'm on 2 big teen forums, and a large percent of the NT teens there are going through pure hell. I makes me mad sometimes when aspies seem to act like they are the only ones who have it rough, and NT's have charmed lives. I can probably think of 100 NT kids I know on the forums that i would NOT want to trade lives with.

Last edited by EzraS on 23 Apr 2014, 4:34 am, edited 1 time in total.

Dan_Undiagnosed
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Jun 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 645

23 Apr 2014, 4:04 am

Very interesting post. I only clicked on it because I saw it was you Hale_Bopp. I was thinking about your YouTube channel the other day and was going to ask you why do you think your videos have so many dislikes? Do you think it has anything to do with your identifying on the spectrum? Why else would such an inoffensive small YouTube channel get so much negative attention? Just asking since I was already wondering about this before I saw this post.

Norny
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Dec 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,488

23 Apr 2014, 4:22 am

EzraS wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

I agree with this.

_________________
Unapologetically, Norny. :rambo:

-chronically drunk

mila_oblong
Blue Jay

Joined: 26 Aug 2008
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 86
Location: New Jersey, USA, Earth

23 Apr 2014, 4:35 am

hale_bopp wrote:

I'm not sure if that means they have a victim complex, primarily because most of the time I viewed it as people were venting at a place that they felt somewhat comfortable doing so. It depends on how you see it, I guess.

Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

23 Apr 2014, 4:54 am

The bullying thing is kind of misrepresented. It may be that lots of children are bullied but bullying varies - some are bullied a bit here and there, and some are bullied relentlessly, and the latter is not a common experience. It is, however, more likely to happen to children on the spectrum than to many other children.

Also what Mila Oblong posted.

Falloy
Deinonychus

Joined: 1 Dec 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 355

23 Apr 2014, 4:57 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Well yes, but I guess that AS people may have had less opportunity to find out what is normal experience, especially if they have withdrawn for whatever reason from interacting with others. WP should be an environment where people can try and sort out what is specific to autistic people and what is just everyday life.

Some of us are a bit backwards in working out how the world works.

Aharon
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 26 Dec 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 745
Location: Kansas

23 Apr 2014, 5:15 am

Quote:

I agree with this. While anyone can be bullied, I can see where people with ASD are perhaps more likely to be bullied and less apt to deal with it appropriately, making them more likely, perhaps, to become bullied more often and more extensively because our "easy target" ratios may be higher then NT's of the same age. It would be interesting to see some statistics on this topic.

_________________
We are not so different from potted plants in that, if given everything we need to be properly nourished, the outcome can be incredibly contrary to when we are not. A flower won't grow in flour, and neither can we.

MjrMajorMajor
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Jan 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,702

23 Apr 2014, 5:54 am

Falloy wrote:

Agreed

Jensen
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Feb 2013
Age: 70
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,013
Location: Denmark

23 Apr 2014, 6:01 am

Must say Aye! to that one.

_________________
Femaline
Special Interest: Beethoven

Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

23 Apr 2014, 7:13 am

Aharon wrote:

Here you go:

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/survey-find ... m-bullied/ - 63% of autistic children bullied, three times more likely than their NT siblings to be bullied.

New data show children with autism bullied three times more frequently than their unaffected siblings (link)

And a study: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22945284

Also another article discussing trauma due to bullying. (link)

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

23 Apr 2014, 7:15 am

Bullying is a "rite of passage" for some. Invariably, for various reasons, people with ASD's will be bullied more often. I could understand the need for formal studies to confirm what is already obvious.

However, one HAS to transcend past bullying, and prove to the world they could be a success, despite a 'difference."

micfranklin
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Oct 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,272
Location: Maryland

23 Apr 2014, 7:33 am

Never got bullied at school nor had pimples, but I honestly didn't date until my 20s. Don't know if I'd call that a victim complex, just how someone went through life.

Jensen
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Feb 2013
Age: 70
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,013
Location: Denmark

23 Apr 2014, 7:38 am

I would say, that perhaps the nature/focus of the bullying of AS/autistic children and youths is different.
The common (and just as harmful) subjects in bullying goes on looks, family status, who´s in and who´s out.
The bullying of AS children is often different beacuse of their naivity. They are often lured into doing things, other children wouldn´t let themselves be talked into, or let themselves be cheated/manipulated - and are made a laughing stock afterwards.

_________________
Femaline
Special Interest: Beethoven

Page 1 of 23 [ 364 posts ] Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 23 Next

Jump to:

Aspergers and victim complex Post Reply New Topic

Aspergers and victim complex