How many Aspies and Autistics use Scripting here?

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hi, have you ever went to a store and ended up with a converstation like this

Clerk: sup?

you: hi

Clerk: how are you tonight

You: thank you- oh, i mean good

Clerk: haha.. are the roads bad

you: you too- oh, i mean no, not really

or something like this

Person: hello!

You: hi

Person: how are you?

You: nothing much- oh i mean good

well this is called Scripting, its basically what it sounds like, its a pre-chosen choice of words to use in a social situation.

so if i had a conversation already prepared in my head, and it doesnt turn out the same in real life, it can sound like gave the wrong answer.

this backfires a lot.

how many aspies and Autistics here use the script technique

I don't use a scripted anything. If I have something to say or wish to discuss something I do. If it is of no interest to me then I say nothing. I see no need for a scripted conversation personally. Are you using scripts in an effort to simulate NT-style small talk? Or use scripted for day to day niceties for use as greetings? I should think every response would be mostly different dependent upon how the conversations starts or what it is about. How do you script for that kind of thing? Or do you dream up what-if scenarios all the time and come up with canned responses to them? If so is this to avoid the deer in the headlight look if someone speaks to you?

I guess I am not totally understanding the purpose of the scripts and if you use them or just wonder if others do?

yes, i can definitely relate to this....

even when the other person doesn't notice (if the store is loud or busy) i still feel like an ass. sometimes i almost want to make a sign i can wear around my neck for all such interactions that says something like "don't mind me, i'm autistic--so any awkwardness in our exchange is on me." it would probably dispense with a lot of miscommunication, but lord knows i can never manage to say it out loud.

also, nice to see the east coast getting some representation here. (my dad's half of the family is from nova scotia--he was born in glace bay.)

i have a problem a bit like but its more to do with trying to mach their emotional tone

trying to go along with with the small talk the worst part is i know they themselves are only acting

Clerk: hey

me: em hi

Clerk: how are you today ?

me: thinking to myself just say fine they don't care

than i say em yeah im ok

Clerk: its a nice day today isn't it ?

me: thinking to myself is it really that nice though ? its not that great out really

then i say trying to just go along yeah is a nice day

i hate that sort of stuff its so fake and unnecessary

I use "tagging" a lot:

Person behind counter says: how's your day going?
Me: It's going ok, how about yours?

Someone says: how are you?
Me: Yep ok, how are you going?

Someone says: You come here often?
Me: now and then, how about you?

This takes the pressure of keeping the conversation off me, and balances the conversational exchange so that it stays equal.

It's a simple strategy but quite effective and you improve fast with practice until it becomes automatic.

I use scripts more often than I don't. It is the most useful speech tool I have.

In your type of scenario, I'd either say what I had planned--or, more likely, stare or make some kind of unconscious grunting noise. (Finally getting better about that when a colleague I respect once asked if I was mad at her after I did this. All I was able to say at the time was, "no". Later, I explained to her that I was, in fact, frustrated, but not at her....at my inability to communicate what I wanted. I am thankful that she said this to me, because it NEVER occurred to me that anyone would think I was upset with them when I can't speak well enough to get something across.)

I have 3-4 people I must speak to every afternoon at work. It is one of the most anxiety-producing parts of my job because of the speech flexibility expected. To prepare, each day, I decide what I will say and rehearse. It works about 75% of the time. The rest of the time...it's just embarrassing.

I think I usually let clerk/waiter/cashier speak go. I have very frequently told food service people, "you too" to "enjoy your meal". I'm sure I'm not the only one who ever does that. I just laugh about it when I notice.


For KB8CWB - I don't know why anyone else does it, but if can tell you why *I* do.

I cannot think quickly enough or with enough words at my disposal to answer otherwise. I once started to draw out a map of how my brain seems to access spoken language. The first available, and easiest to use, is scripts. If I didn't use them, I would barely speak at all.

id use tagging but i just don't care as most of the time they will reply with something meaningless i only really ask reply questions to people i care about or if i actuality want to know how someone really is

lol this is how my cousin realized i liked her friend

she was like you never ask anyone how they are but you always ask her how she is

Admittedly, I do this a lot. It frustrates me because I know that I can often come up with wittier responses to use, given the right amount of time, but when I'm conversing with someone, I often don't have time to come up with wittier responses, so I'm forced to use pre-scripted phrases in order to respond in a timely manner. As a result, in many situations whenever I speak it comes out sounding kind of awkward and forced.

I really only script things when I'm talking on the phone or preparing to talk to someone official (e.g receptionist, teacher, etc.) I think about and sometimes write down exactly what I want to say when the person answers, and any questions/comments I want to be sure I remember to say. Before I raise my hand in class I mentally play out what I want to say to make sure I don't forget it, then I just spout it off like I'm recalling lines from a script. Most other scripted conversations, like the ones you mentioned, are so unconscious that I don't have to think about them anymore, and they're effectively meaningless as far as a real exchange of ideas goes.

I like to screw everything up, and go from there.

Clerk: hi
Me: hi
Clerk: hows it going;how are you; hows the sunshine: the roads: do you like whatever; having a so, and so?

Me: pritty normal.

Clerk: thinking WTF?

Me: thinking, yes, my thoughts exactly

If they rebuttal with anything I say "that's right, I'm or it is normal"

Sometimes I get an o.k. than, or a gee, I wonder what that is like.

I'm not the dork asking the stupid questions, that's all I know.

yournamehere

id love to try something like that sometime for a laugh just to make people feel as uncomfortable at it makes me asking thire stupid questions lol

Trust me, they don't get it

yes! i work as a receptionist on the weekends so unfortunately i am the first person people see when they walk in. i also have to answer phones and people who visit ask me questions a lot. at first it was very difficult, and it still isn't easy, but on the weekends it isn't so much people and they are usually older and are more apt to go along with the script. general: they greet first, sometimes i do; then the other person returns greetings; they sign in; exit my space. for the phone: i pick up; standard work greeting ("hello this is [business name], how may i help you?") they usually ask to talk to one of the nurses; i say one moment; page nurse; end. until the call bounces back, which is stressful, but i have a script for that too.

it is very easy, and i use scripts not just at work, but constantly, even with family members (but not all the time with them). but what i really hate is when people ask unexpected things! or try to joke around! luckily since it's mostly the same people every weekend, they have gotten used to me and stick to the script. but there are a few people who don't visit as often who constantly ask me weird questions or personal ones. in a attempt to bond i guess.

i'm not diagnosed, but i have always done this my whole life. i was under the impression that everyone did! i use them because i generally can't, i don't know, say original things. most things i say, is just chopped up things i've heard others say.