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Briareos
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Location: Central Canada

24 Apr 2014, 2:36 am

When I browse through all these online dating profiles, I basically don't know what to look for, or what would be suitable for me. What kind of personality type is best for me?
That I don't know.
A lot of it to me looks like a sea of 'meh'.
A lot of them don't have anything in particular that would compel me to message them, at least for the girls in my area. Some feel like they would be out of my league, or we wouldn't get along. I can't even decide what I consider attractive right now.....

I'm probably one of the luckier guys in that I occasionally get messages from girls, to which I usually reply to them and message them for a bit. But eventually, I lose interest in communicating with them. This lack of feeling concerns me, I should be feeling some sort of emotion or drive, right? But then again there were a couple who just didn't interest me in the first place....

I think this might be the product of the environment of which I am trying to achieve a mutual relationship: online dating. I'm starting to dislike a couple of things. I do not enjoy messaging people as I worry about my message being interpreted in the wrong way. You cannot accurately convey tone of voice through what you type. I also feel like I can't interact with them properly or get a good sense of their personality through mere pictures and a resume-like profile. I can't see their reactive face or read their body language (I know it's difficult for some, but I feel I'm getting better at this). I'd like to try a more personable approach, but I don't have any idea what my options are, and I certainly don't have the kind of real life social network that a lot of normal people have.

I feel like I won't meet who I would like to where I currently live, which is just as well because I'd prefer not to be living here anyways.

It's just a lot of uncertainty and not knowing what to do......


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Vomelche
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25 Apr 2014, 10:39 pm

Do you have any hobbies? If you don't, then get one and try to connect with people who are into the same thing. Try meetup groups for hobbies and interests.

I would not recommend online dating for serious interest. Just try everything you can in real life to meet people and see what works and what doesn't, there is no one equation to meet women and its a lot a matter of luck.



Briareos
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Joined: 6 Jan 2014
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Location: Central Canada

27 Apr 2014, 7:16 pm

Vomelche wrote:
Do you have any hobbies? If you don't, then get one and try to connect with people who are into the same thing. Try meetup groups for hobbies and interests.

I would not recommend online dating for serious interest. Just try everything you can in real life to meet people and see what works and what doesn't, there is no one equation to meet women and its a lot a matter of luck.

I have plenty of hobbies; I'm crazy about skiing, in the summer I go trail biking or go do parkour, and I'm really into cars....unless my sig or avatar gave that away.
Days at home are usually spent playing video games.
When I can dedicate the time, I also like to draw/paint, go fishing, sew custom clothing and I'm acquiring an interest in manga/anime as I learn to speak Japanese.

The problem - at least with my main hobbies/interests - is that they are very male dominated, especially regarding cars. Not to say I haven't seen girls interested in these things, but there aren't many of these particular women around here. It's similar to the online dating scene, in a way....

Art is a toss up; there are certainly a lot of artsy-type females, but I might not match some people's level of passion when it comes to it (I also don't know where I would find these type of people). Fishing is whatever, sewing was learned out of a desire for custom made sweaters, but there might be some potential in the manga/anime scene. Apart from the annual manga/anime convention, I don't know where people into this scene like to hang out (locally), apart from the internet. Maybe there's a club or something...

but..
there is a girl I think I might be interested in. She's kind of cute, and she likes to snowboard. While it's not skiing, she at least likes to ride, and I've done so with her a couple of times. but beyond that I don't know much about her, and haven't made an effort to do so. Even if I wanted to get to know her better, its not really possible right now. It appears she likes to travel a lot, as she has moved to Banff, and even lived in Scotland for a time.


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Vomelche
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27 Apr 2014, 9:34 pm

There should be a place in your city where similar people hang out. Which city are you from? I would guess somewhere downtown thats where more progressive people would be, that are into stuff like art, anime or manga, or extreme sports. But you would have to go to a club or a bar with a friend. Maybe there are meetup groups for sports or anime where you can make a friend to do that.

The girl sounds like your friend. If you ask her out it could have a negative effect on the friendship. Unless she is showing interest in you.



Briareos
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Joined: 6 Jan 2014
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Location: Central Canada

27 Apr 2014, 11:15 pm

Vomelche wrote:
There should be a place in your city where similar people hang out. Which city are you from? I would guess somewhere downtown thats where more progressive people would be, that are into stuff like art, anime or manga, or extreme sports. But you would have to go to a club or a bar with a friend. Maybe there are meetup groups for sports or anime where you can make a friend to do that.

The girl sounds like your friend. If you ask her out it could have a negative effect on the friendship. Unless she is showing interest in you.

I live in Winnipeg.
I remember someone suggesting a site called Meetup.com for local group activities, I might give it a try. I already go to meets with the local Parkour group (I found this on my own), and I can search for an anime/manga club locally.

I can't say I like her that much at this point, I haven't spoken to her much. What I'd like is to just get to know her a little better, even as friends.


_________________
ECU remapping in progress... (A.K.A. Rewiring my brain)
Progress: 70%

"If you focus on results, you won't change. If you focus on change, you'll get results."