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When you feel another "obsession" developing.

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hale_bopp
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26 Apr 2014, 2:26 am

Usually, with me, I have a romantic obsession with someone. However, recently, I have been learning to determine when this "obsession" is beginning.

I had one on someone from work for the past year.. now I can feel it changing - to someone I have not met in person and who is FAR too good for me. I want to squash this as soon as possible, before it develops into a problem.

What are your methods for killing obsessions with people? It makes me sick thinking about it, and I absolutely dread what this will become. It seems to be coming on pretty fast.

Being an attention whore and getting attention from others generally helps.. but any quick fixes? >.>



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26 Apr 2014, 2:45 am

quick fixes? = Tell them. Either they return the feelings or they don't. Want a quick fix, rip it off like a bandaid.



The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Apr 2014, 3:07 am

What makes him FAR too good for you? I wonder.



hale_bopp
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26 Apr 2014, 3:12 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
What makes him FAR too good for you? I wonder.


Looks, success, social skills.
I already blew him off once as I was too scared. I should just man up and ask him to meet again.



The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Apr 2014, 4:12 am

hale_bopp wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
What makes him FAR too good for you? I wonder.


Looks, success, social skills.
I already blew him off once as I was too scared. I should just man up and ask him to meet again.


Blew him off? So he asked you out and you said no? lol

He probably now thinks the same, that you're too good for him.



hale_bopp
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26 Apr 2014, 4:13 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
What makes him FAR too good for you? I wonder.


Looks, success, social skills.
I already blew him off once as I was too scared. I should just man up and ask him to meet again.


Blew him off? So he asked you out and you said no? lol

He probably now thinks the same, that you're too good for him.


He didn't ask me out. I was busy anyway... But I kind of implied he was too good for me.



binaryodes
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26 Apr 2014, 5:23 am

ldolisation and romantic obsession can be one and the same thing. Idolisation involves the elevation of positive traits to such a scale that negative traits become inconsequential or even non existent. The way to quash this is to seek out that person's flaws and home in on them to such an extent that you realise that they are in fact "only human". Maybe this helps.


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hale_bopp
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26 Apr 2014, 5:30 am

binaryodes wrote:
ldolisation and romantic obsession can be one and the same thing. Idolisation involves the elevation of positive traits to such a scale that negative traits become inconsequential or even non existent. The way to quash this is to seek out that person's flaws and home in on them to such an extent that you realise that they are in fact "only human". Maybe this helps.


Thanks, It may very well help.



Aharon
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26 Apr 2014, 7:09 am

Quote:
ldolisation and romantic obsession can be one and the same thing. Idolisation involves the elevation of positive traits to such a scale that negative traits become inconsequential or even non existent. The way to quash this is to seek out that person's flaws and home in on them to such an extent that you realise that they are in fact "only human". Maybe this helps.


He pegged this dead on. I definitely have this, even though married I still feel it with certain people from time to time. I find it very annoying because if I don't deal with it, I am very shy around these people (why idk). The finding flaws thing definitely works for me; good advice!


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Marky9
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26 Apr 2014, 8:41 am

binaryodes wrote:
The way to quash this is to seek out that person's flaws and home in on them to such an extent that you realise that they are in fact "only human".


Having had more romantic obsessions than I can count, the above sounds like a great way to quickly regain a balanced view of the object of my affliction.

In such cases a friend used to like to repeat to me a quote from the character Deputy Barney Fife on the old Andy Griffith Show: "Andy, you just have to nip it. Nip it in the bud."



aspiemike
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26 Apr 2014, 9:29 am

Remember that each person has their flaws too and not to obsess over those flaws either. We all hate it when people throw our flaws right in our face.


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Tim_Tex
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26 Apr 2014, 10:35 am

My obsessions can last years, and the best advice I can give is to eliminate as many things things as you can that remind you of that person.

Sadly, it's easier said than done


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Vomelche
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26 Apr 2014, 4:03 pm

I try to relax and avoid any interactions or activities with anyone for a while until I have cleared my head.

Not sure why you don't want to pursue in this case. He may just as well feel the same way about you and not know.



em_tsuj
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27 Apr 2014, 6:14 pm

get to know him a little better. make a commitment in your mind to pay attention to the REAL PERSON, not the perfect picture you have in your head. Getting to really know a person prevents idolizing the person. If he remains mysterious, you'll keep obsessing about him until a better obsession comes along.



Ferrus91
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27 Apr 2014, 6:47 pm

Yeah, nothing gets rid of an obsession than the odd disastrous meeting or two.



Tim_Tex
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27 Apr 2014, 11:54 pm

If more people had the same interests, it probably would be way less of an issue.


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