Dreaming of your prince/princess....

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equestriatola
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30 Apr 2014, 10:50 pm

....so I turned 27 a few weeks ago. My sister has been married for half a year now, and here I sit still single with no chance of advancing within my life.

Do you ever have days where you dream of your prince/[princess coming your way? I sure do. My princess, wherever she may be, is out there, and I hope I can get her to move to SoCal, if she doesn't already live there........ I have dreams of this every day.


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Briareos
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01 May 2014, 2:27 am

Yeah, and it hurts because I know it's too passive. But I'm not sure I'd recognize the ideal girl if she popped up in my face or passed me in the mall...


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Deuterium
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01 May 2014, 4:19 am

Of course it's something nice to occupy a daydream every once in a while; to pretend that the perfect person will fall into my lap out of sheer luck, and that I'm not the one keeping myself from being in a relationship.

But she probably won't, and I am.



nick007
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01 May 2014, 11:46 am

I did alot when I was single


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GiantHockeyFan
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01 May 2014, 3:59 pm

Briareos wrote:
Yeah, and it hurts because I know it's too passive. But I'm not sure I'd recognize the ideal girl if she popped up in my face or passed me in the mall...

I recently befriended (and yes I will ask her out honest!) a girl I have seen for SIX YEARS almost twice a week at the local gym. Once we had a conversation, it was almost like a switch went off in both our heads and we had a great conversation. I also saw a girl dressed up that I drooled over and regret not asking our before I lost touch of her even though she walked by me a hundred times before that and I never noticed her until she was dressed up. The trick is to be open and friendly to ALL women and the doors will open naturally. Took me a VERY long time to understand that lesson.

I am not a religious person but I like the saying "God helps those who help themselves". The opportunity is not going to fall into my lap but at the same time if it's meant to be it will happen one way or another.



Briareos
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01 May 2014, 4:29 pm

GiantHockeyFan wrote:
Briareos wrote:
Yeah, and it hurts because I know it's too passive. But I'm not sure I'd recognize the ideal girl if she popped up in my face or passed me in the mall...

I recently befriended (and yes I will ask her out honest!) a girl I have seen for SIX YEARS almost twice a week at the local gym. Once we had a conversation, it was almost like a switch went off in both our heads and we had a great conversation. I also saw a girl dressed up that I drooled over and regret not asking our before I lost touch of her even though she walked by me a hundred times before that and I never noticed her until she was dressed up. The trick is to be open and friendly to ALL women and the doors will open naturally. Took me a VERY long time to understand that lesson.

I am not a religious person but I like the saying "God helps those who help themselves". The opportunity is not going to fall into my lap but at the same time if it's meant to be it will happen one way or another.

Wow, that is a long period, you better ask her out!
That will be the miracle day when I find a person where I'm not struggling to find something to talk about...or keep it going without leading to awkward silence.
A lot of my time in High School was spent like that. There were girls I admired from afar, but was too scared to talk to them/didn't know what to say/assumed they had a boyfriend/thought they were merely feigning interest in me (this was my belief for one case).


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GiantHockeyFan
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01 May 2014, 8:19 pm

Briareos wrote:
Wow, that is a long period, you better ask her out!
That will be the miracle day when I find a person where I'm not struggling to find something to talk about...or keep it going without leading to awkward silence.
A lot of my time in High School was spent like that. There were girls I admired from afar, but was too scared to talk to them/didn't know what to say/assumed they had a boyfriend/thought they were merely feigning interest in me (this was my belief for one case).

Yeah, I was so dense I had no idea somewhat so good looking could be both single AND attracted to men. I also found out from a friend she has had exactly one boyfriend and is apparently clueless around guys and her flirtiness is her way of covering it up and I am starting to believe it. I still cannot believe how long we talked because I assume girls flake because I suck at new conversations. She actually told me that she wishes people would leave her alone at times because it can be exhausting so maybe this friend was right.

My problem is that any girl who i thought was interested in me turned out to be downright repulsed by me one even asking others to keep me away from her. This girl at the gym has definitely been checking me out and my instinct was correct. She even got into a position where I almost accidentally knocked into her and I doubt it was a coincidence since it happened three times! I just wish she would have come out and say it but i realize girls simply do not do that.

Of course, I also realize reading my first sentence some gals might think that about me! One girl who asked me out on Saturday told me she doesn't want to give her number out until we meet. She probably thinks I am way too good to be true because she has asked plenty of open ended questions about my profile.



equestriatola
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01 May 2014, 10:19 pm

I was in a relationship for all of a week......... I guess there is a glimmer of hope for me.


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monsterchic
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02 May 2014, 9:15 am

I have. I have been having recurring dreams about my best friend (incidentally the only person I've ever loved) where we are married and had a family.



equestriatola
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02 May 2014, 10:47 am

People tell me I worry too much about this finding my princess thing........ I guess they're right.


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GiantHockeyFan
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02 May 2014, 12:50 pm

equestriatola wrote:
People tell me I worry too much about this finding my princess thing........ I guess they're right.

I have been told a million times to stop looking and it will happen. This seems extremely illogical to me since I didn't get in shape by randomly sitting on the couch or land a job by sitting by the phone.

However, I am starting to understand what people meant and of course, they don't mean it literally. Especially at my age, when I am relaxed and happy women naturally tend to flock to me and aren't turned off or indimidated by how incredibly figidity and nervous I get when I obsess and over analyze a woman's behavior and make getting a date almost a life or death situation. As my therapist said , I am WWAAYY too hard on myself! It's like this girl at the gym: I had a relaxed, confident, genuine smile on my face (because physically I do feel great!) and she came over to me to the point I never even realized we were flirting with each other until it was over. Hopefully I don't go into overthink mode and blow it with this girl! Damn voice in my head today is telling me that she will just laugh at me like all the other girls did regardless of how obvious it is she is VERY interested in me and how irrational those thoughts are. We aren't in Junior High!



Eureka13
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02 May 2014, 1:10 pm

First step: realizing that women aren't princesses and men aren't princes. All of us are just humans, flesh and blood. Not one of us qualifies as fairy tale material. Get over that mindset, and you might just meet a real live human being of your preferred gender who has a great deal to offer.

Pedestals have tiny surfaces, and sooner or later anyone who is placed on top of one is inevitably going to fall off. :)



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02 May 2014, 1:25 pm

^^^^^ Yeah, pedestals are a bad idea. Anyone worth being with would not be happy being put on one, and anyone who is happy being put on one will likely turn out to be a nightmare.



Also, forget princes/princesses - go look for a comrade. They'll stand by you, and you them.


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ReverieMe
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02 May 2014, 5:00 pm

I did fantasize a lot, but I like what I found better. The person you wind up happy with may be different from how you imagine a "prince" or a "princess" who pulls you into a dreamy love story.



Amberlena
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02 May 2014, 7:20 pm

I do, I know it isn't bad to be single but I've never been in a relationship before and I often wonder what it's like.



Deuterium
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03 May 2014, 2:23 am

ReverieMe wrote:
I did fantasize a lot, but I like what I found better. The person you wind up happy with may be different from how you imagine a "prince" or a "princess" who pulls you into a dreamy love story.

There is a certain irony in that being romantic, itself.