A Question for Autisic/Aspie Guys About Finding A Girlfriend

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I can relate to a lot of you members here on this,and I think a lot of it has to be due to my Asperger's and my introverted ways,though I think that the latter has a lot,if not all,to do with the former.My problem is just like the problem a lot of you guys here have, in that I get very nervous around new people.I always get nervous that I'll say the wrong thing,and scare a girl off.In fact,I've had a few girls actually say that they don't trust me because I'm too quiet.I've been trying online dating myself with very little success and sometimes I wonder if it's because I'm saying the wrong thing all the time.I've tried being direct and to the point (I want a serious relationship,or that I really like you and want to get to know you),I've tried writing long-winded paragraphs about my likes and dislikes and about my life,I've tried small talk (want to go get a cup of coffee and talk?), I've tried pick-up lines (heaven is missing an angel and she's staring at me right now), I've tried using icebreaker questions,yet nothing seems to work.I've only found success on one site called Are You Interested (AYI.com), but all the girls I do get responses from on that site live in like Los Angeles, Chicago,Las Vegas,Miami,and I'm here in New York.The closest I came to actually meeting a girl on these sites is that one girl from the Christian Mingle site lives in New Jersey,and we were going to meet each other in person this summer,but about a month ago she told me that she's moving to Florida to live with family and get a better job.I do admit that I haven't really signed up for these sites.I mean,I've signed up but only for the free service,for you have to pay to get all the features that these sites have to offer and I'm not making enough money to afford $100+ memberships for all these dating sites,at this time. I've also heard that a lot of these sites are really for those looking to "hook up",for a date or one-night stand,and that's it,and even those sites geared towards lasting relationships have as their members mostly those that want one-night stands.I also think that a lot of members on these sites never intend to have relationships.They just want to string some poor,lonely sap along so he'll give them money,or only so that they can have a good laugh at the "dummy who thought that I actually liked him",and play games like that.Does anyone here agree with me on that assessment?

Yes.

Because I'm not looking for one - and that's because I'm gay.

Be yourself, try to keep a positive attitude, keep yourself as physically fit as you can manage, eat as healthily as you can afford to - you'll look & feel, think feel & act better - and that'll go a long way in attracting someone who likes you for you. Further, I like my friends advice of not looking for a significant other. Rather, spend your time focusing on yourself and things you enjoy doing. Sometime while you're out there doing what you do that makes you feel alive, someone will notice that passion & strike up a conversation (or give you the opportunity to) and that's how you may meet someone.

Very hard finding a girlfriend. I have never been able to relate to NT women beyond a certain point and there are very few opportunities in Real Life for me to meet AS and strongly eccentric NT women. In the end, I resorted to getting more involved on WP primarily as a dating website, as there are a lot of people in the UK region where I live who are members of this site.

So far I have noticed a few women who seem compatible and approached one in particular. We have started meeting, though at this stage is it just for coffee and chatting rather than true "dating" as such. So it may work for you and for some, particularly people living in remote regions of very large countries such as the US, it may be the only option.

In my personal opinion, this probably doesn't help:

Stop looking for a girlfriend. That's problem number one for a lot of ASD men. You're not trying to fill a position at a company. Having a significant other is not a requirement in life. Be yourself and do things that you enjoy with like-minded people. Inevitably, you'll click with someone. In the meantime have casual sex if you want, use protection, and don't get too attached.