Can't Understand My Partners Mindset

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I can't understand my partners actions today. Let me explain a little bit. I will give a brief history of the problem, even though it's irrelevant.

Myself and my partner both smoke cannabis. She smokes recreationally, I smoke for medicinal use. She smokes much more than me though. So beginning of last month I bought an ounce. I noticed she was smoking a lot of it at regular intervals throughout the day, every day. I don't mind this, but I was only smoking 2 or 3 times a week. So I gave her that ounce, and bought myself an ounce that I can put away and smoke when I want without having to worry about her smoking it so quickly. I explain that she's free to smoke that ounce but once it's gone I can't afford to buy more. She said fine.

She was still smoking hers a lot. I smoke maybe .3grams 2 or 3 times a week. So I have loads left, yet she's ran out.

This morning I noticed her going through my draw and she took out some of my cannabis. I asked her what she was doing and she said she's having a smoke. I asked her why she's taking my weed. We then got into an argument because she thought it's ok to go into my draw and take my cannabis. I thought this was a violation of some kind.

She then started to say that we're in a relationship and I should share. But I share! I gave her a whole ounce. I asked her if she though it was ok to smoke all of hers and then just take mine when she likes.

She then went into what I can only explain as "poor me syndrome". She started telling me that I'm not her dad and she doesn't need to ask, she's not a child. And then started saying she never gets anything and most of the stuff in this house I own. Of course I do. I worked hard for what I own.

But what I can't understand is her mind. Why does she think it's ok to take my stuff? Regardless of what it is? Am I correct in thinking that this is "over the mark"?

I'm struggling to understand how someone can take something that doesn't belong to them, and just expect me to be fine with it.

I don't know if it can be physiologically addictive, but this sounds to me like t may be a matter of psychological addiction. She doesn't just want it, she needs it. People with an addiction tend to make all sorts of rationalisatons to cover behaviour that would generally be out of character or a bit 'off'.

At the same time, there may well be a genuine resentment on her part, or misunderstanding/disagreement between you both, as to the nature and balance (or otherwise) of your relationship.

Both are possibilities you might want to talk about.

Preface: cberg is a peacemaker and he gets higher than you do;

I smoke a lot of herb and I can tell you all you need to know. There's no point in trying to equally share a plant that's in unlimited supply, so share the mind-numbing tea detox and buy some good beer or wine for the ride, you both have the rationality to keep from bickering over one fun little tree.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Addicted to weed? LOL wow as if. No, shes taking your s**t that you paid for and she didnt. This wouldnt be any different than if it were cigarettes that she just didnt want to pay for so that wouldnt be an excuse/reason even if marijuana were addictive. It wouldnt be any different than if she was a fatty and she was taking your ice cream from the freezer accept that ice cream doesnt cost as much as weed. Dont listen to the wall of idiots in this thread. Plus you have a medical reason for owning it and that makes even more messed up for her to take it if shes not going to replace it.

She took some stuff that you paid for after she already agreed not to. If that makes you mad you need to either put your foot down or accept her as being a person that doesnt understand that kind of thing or respect you in that way and move on from there. And tell her to get a job while your at it.

~Sincerely yours from Colorado

I agree with you OP, she is in the wrong.
Does she have the same mindset when it comes to you using her stuff?

Of course she's in the wrong. Cannabis is expensive. Tell her to buy her own batch.

It certainly puts a big hole in anyone's budget.

The question of whether she's addicted or not is irrelevant, if you ask me. She ran out, you didn't. I know couples are supposed to share everything, but this is pain medication in your case. She wants to get high? That's fine. Why not? But when she is potentially going to take away your pain relief, that looks like a major problem.

You should mention that possibility to her, because this gives the impression that she just wants to get high, without any regard for your pain. That would be quite a major boundary for her if she cares enough. Raising it will put it into her mind, and rule out the 'I hadn't thought about it that way' argument for the future.

That way, if it continues, you at least have a better idea of the situation, and can make better informed decision in future if it comes to it.

Good luck to you both

It IS a plant... mix it in with your tomatoes.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Whether or not she's addicted IS relevant. Addiction to marijuana almost never happens, but I've seen it, and it can be BAD. Unfortunately, from what I've read, she seems addicted.

My mom dated a guy who was addicted to pot. She didn't think it was possible so she stayed with him for a long time...he was messed up. I don't think people can have healthy relationships when they're addicted, and she's demonstrated that she values the pot more than she values you or your relationship,, and then justifying it to herself...classic addict behavior. I STRONGLY recommend that you break up with her, at least until she's gotten over that.

Addiction to marijuana is real--I mean, em_tsuj posted from experience.

You have to hide your gear from her and put some kiff or crappy synthetic crap in your drawer, or in a common place for when she is really strung out.
Unless weed is more important to you than she is.