New Christian seeking insight!

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I've been a Christian since the start of December, and I attend church and pray avidly, yet I find myself falling into depression; I can actually think of a point where I was a more palatable kind of depressed I am trying to be mindful of God's love but it never seems to do a lot for me.

What helped you during your early stages of growing in the spirit? Do you have a model that you like to follow?

Thank you in advance; I don't think you know just how much your help means to me. My head is full of tormenting thoughts and I'm so afraid...

When I first became a Christian, I went through periods of deep anguish as I was convinced I was just being tolerated by God until he got around to getting rid of me.

Then I would have a good experience of feeling accepted and loved. And then another long bout of feeling "just tolerated until..." etc. This kept going on and on (up, down, down, up, down, down, up, down, down...) until I realised that each period of despair and doubt had been invalidated by the following experience of being accepted ... and I came to realise that all the doubt and despair and anguish wasn't the truth. It was just a temporary phase I was going through.

Being a Christian, however, isn't a guaranteed cure of depression. If you are prone to depression (a common enough thing for people on the spectrum) then you need to look into ways of handling that - i.e. psychology. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Mindfulness can help you manage depression. Also, doing things that use your abilities while helping other people. I voluntarily tutor a school student with Asperger's, so I am using my diagnosis to help someone else like me. That helps boost my self-esteem and helps to work against depression (and it is also fun and I get to spend time with another Aspie).

Another thought might help: God is far more willing to love us than we are willing to love ourselves. The scriptures use words like "lavish" and "abundant" when they talk about God's love.

So there's phases?
I'm on the right track, then, with seeing a psychologist.
Kudos on your tuition!

if you want insight into christianity I suggest you read any or all of Bart Ehrman's books. At least read all of the new testament with a critical eye.

Over 20 years. No easy answers.

It was "easy" at first because someone I knew got me into the faith, so I had a social contact/connection. My life went to crap in other ways, so it was a tough time. I went to college, had a Christian friend which helped because the person who got me into the faith died. After that, I went to another state and ended up in a small church where I developed a more intimate relationship with the pastor and his family (very small group). This was some of the best times for me. I moved back home, had to deal with hypocrisy (which happens too much and is part of human nature), and right now, I feel so isolated because I have no personal connection with the churches available to me.

I don't see the job of the church as being a social club, but I now understand what my minister friend said about it being an important part. Church should be part of your "community." The problem is that if you don't feel connection with other people, you always feel out of place. Church isn't an exception to this issue.

Early on, I was at church for pretty much everything they did. Part of it was the enthusiasm of being a new believer. Another part was how much I needed the emotional/spiritual support with how everything else that mattered to me had just crumbled to ashes.

I know that God cares and that God has provided and is providing for me, but I'm also frustrated because I thought at some point I would see a direction or purpose for my life, and I still don't see it. I'm unclear why it seems things have changed. I can say I'm at fault for some of it, but God's worked things out when I wasn't perfect before, so I wonder why things are so stagnant now.

I was only about seven years old when I became a Christion, so there is not much struggle that I remember from then; however, the growing process never seems to stop.

As a military brat teenager in a foreign country, I had many downs. My brother and sister went to school, and I was taught at home. I did not know the local language. Also, I knew that I was different, but I didn't know why. All together this made me feel lonely and strange.

Just like you, I prayed hard about the things that were disturbing me. These were four whole years of feeling like God was far away. However, once my family and I were posted back to our home country, the Lord answered my prayers with a diagnosis of autism at 16 years old. God felt closer to me then ever before. After this, I was put into a special class with students that were like me. I was no longer lonely.

Later on, I learned that it would take two extra years for me to get a high school diploma. This made me very disappointed, but then I prayed that God's will would be done. I felt comfort in knowing that God is in control right after the prayer. even if it takes longer to graduate, this was what he wanted for me. After my family's next posting, I was in a special program that integrated me into the school. It took six years, but I have finally made it to Collage!

Right now you are doing all you can do: trusting in God, and praying that things will get better. Even if he feels far away, he is listening to your prayers, and he will answer them in His way.

I was born and raised a Christian, and so there was never a time when I wasn't ever a believer. That's not to say I haven't ever had doubts, or had bouts of depression, because I most certainly have. My feelings are, don't get wrapped up in trying to feel God's love or presense. Just take comfort in knowing that they are there.

I grew up around self-righteous legalists who called themselves Christians, but didn't truly live it. As a result, I started resenting God in my teens, rebelling against Him until my mid-20s. I still struggle with trusting Him every day, because there's so much rage and pain in my heart, and I don't know how to let go of it.

My main advice to you regarding this forum is two-fold. First, don;t listen to anyone who says that believing in God makes you stupid, or Christians are inherently mean-spirited. There's tons of folks online who will do their best to talk you out of your faith...and they aim most of their efforts at new believers. Secondly, look into Christian apologetics on YouTube or at your local library. Read all you can from guys like Lee Strobel, William Lane Craig, Norman L. Geisler, Frank Turek, Paul Copan, etc. That whole area of thought is based on teaching believers how to intellectually defend their faith. Its not the source of getting closer to God, but it will give you confidence with why you can trust Him, outside of your own experiences.

Physical fitness does a lot to mitigate fear, as does cultivating a bright future for yourself. Christianity, with its inherent fear and guilt mongering will likely achieve the opposite outcome. Not that fear mitigation ought to be the motivating factor for belief, anyway. It should be about whether or not this stuff is true, surely?

I would recommend this show.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zsym8BHLKug[/youtube]

Last edited by Stannis on 15 May 2014, 10:22 pm, edited 6 times in total.

Yes indeed I would check out Craig, in particular any time he comes up against Ehrman. I do not think people who believe in the New Testament are stupid nor are they necessarily mean spirited (although some on this forum most certainly show some evidence of this). I do think they ignore much of the evidence held within its pages that go a long way to show that it is not reliable source for actual historical events. Of course this does not disprove Jesus as the son of god but it certainly shows how this idea could have come about without Jesus being who the bible says he is.

If you have the confidence of your convictions then you should at least learn about the book you believe in.

Actually, the Bible contains a ton of genuine historical references, like describing the reigns of multiple Herods and Caesars, the locations of places such as first-century Judea and Bethlehem, genealogies from Adam to Jesus through both Mary and Joseph, etc.

To be a Christian is to be Christ like. Though I would not condider myself one (as I find that such labels form unecessary polarizing dialectics), you must keep in mind the symbolism. The core message of Christianity is that finding the love you seek (agape - true love and empathy for all people and all things) comes at the cost of great personal tribulation. Just as Christ was met with suffering on the cross to his path to his love for all souls, so should u expect the same. Its not easy to love God (or the existential truth of things or whatever you want to call it), to love others, and to love yourself. To have the love of Christ is to be empathic to all the suffering of the world. When the righteous is whipped, so are you too whipped. When the poor starve, so to do you starve. When the downtrodden are mocked, so are you. To have this type of love isn't easy and can be quite painful. However, it is faith that this is ultimately the right thing to do that is meant to carry you to the end.

This also entails acknowleding your own suffering for what it is and learning to love yourself, love God (or the cosmic order as it is.,, My God!, why have you forsaken me?), love creation and to love others accordingly. That's my 2 cents anyway.

Last edited by JNathanK on 15 May 2014, 11:48 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Hmm, so does the Iliad. Zeus was real then, I guess

I saw an excellent 3 part documentary about how the archaeological record synchs up with the biblical account, if anyone is interested:

Part 1 of of episode 1 concerning the Garden of Eden. The rest of the series is on youtube:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ne1wIEGnPWo[/youtube]

The Iliad wasn't written until the 8th century, whereas the first Greek translation of the Old Testament was transcribed around 250 B.C. That's a gap of at least 1,000 years.

It's the 8th century BC, and that's totally irrelevant to what I was saying. Works of fiction often contain true facts. Proving that there was a president called Ronald Reagan does not make Doc Brown's time machine more likely.

Last edited by Stannis on 16 May 2014, 3:22 am, edited 3 times in total.

8th century? AD or BC?