I find that whenever I need to describe myself to others either directly or answer questions on tests etc I feel like I'm lying for 90% of the responses.
Examples of test questions (usually on a scale):
1. How calm are you?
2. Do you anger easily?
3. Are you artistic?
I seriously can't answer those questions. How are suppose to describe (or rate) how calm you are 'as a person'? I can't really even tell if I'm calm or not - when I 'feel' calm, I might actually be suppressing overwhelming stress or something like that; everything changes so rapidly along with my constantly changing thoughts. When I type this now, I am inclined to say that these questions are 'incredibly irritating', yet in reality they bother me only slightly, while invoking ideas within me, and inspiring me to create a discussion such as this. I don't think I have ever felt 'incredibly irritated', yet I still feel as if that is how I should describe this situation. It's confusing, in that I can't separate my actual self, from an identity that has in a way being structured or imposed upon me.
I might think something one day, and then the next have contradicting thoughts not based off of new considerations, but what I 'am feeling' in a sense. It's as if I have completely fluid and unstable opinions of everything, so I can't understand myself. Alternatively, I often encounter multiple 'planes of thought', where I am thinking or arguing with varying perspectives and ideas, the amounts of which can become overwhelming to the point that I seem to forget something I had previously acknowledged in my mind.
Why can't I have a proper self identity or at least some form of solid understanding of almost everything? It is likely that tomorrow, or perhaps in as little as a few minutes, I will have contradicting thoughts to this, and see all that I have written here to be incorrect, or something like that.
Please post if you can understand this, and/or relate to it. I really need to figure out, how I'm figuring things out, based on how you're figuring things out, so that I can appropriately figure out how I did that, and so on.
It's almost as if I have two or more consciousnesses.
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Unapologetically, Norny.

-chronically drunk