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TheAmpersandClown
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19 Jun 2014, 12:19 pm

Tomorrow I'm going over to a guy friend's house, and I know that he's romantically interested in me and I do like him too. Our history's kinda complicated, what with us dating before and a lot happening with a 'mutual friend' of ours. But we are good friends, and we've helped each other a lot during the time we've known each other.
My point is that I've never spent time with him alone, so I'm worrying about how I should act and stuff, considering I'm going to be around his house for roughly six hours.
I would prefer to meet with him briefly tomorrow and do so again another time, but I'm moving abroad on Monday and I won't have the time to see him again.
I just don't know what to do or say, especially since I'm the most socially awkward person I know, and that even when I'm comfortable I don't 'open up' and make better conversation.


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gigstalksguy
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19 Jun 2014, 12:44 pm

It sounds like this friendship is something you have mixed feelings about. On the one hand you obviously like each other, both physically and as people. But you've had your difficult moments in the past which make things feel awkward.

I would first of all suggest just putting aside anything in the past and not mention anything about your past relationship. Secondly, I would start with generic, comfortable topics i.e. 'how's your week going?' or talk about any hobbies/interests you have in common. It will help to put the focus on whatever you're talking about or doing together, rather than simply the fact you're meeting one to one. Talk about what you'll be doing abroad - sounds like big changes are afoot for you.

If you can, try and see the funny side to any difficult moments you had. Obviously I don't know the exact situation but it sounds to be that once the air is cleared, which it hopefully is by now, you can start to have a laugh about the past (though I understand this may not be possible if it's still very sensitive)

All the best though :D - it's good you have each other as friends.


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TheAmpersandClown
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19 Jun 2014, 1:41 pm

gigstalksguy wrote:
On the one hand you obviously like each other, both physically and as people. But you've had your difficult moments in the past which make things feel awkward.


It's not what happened in the past that is making things awkward. I don't feel awkward either, I'm just worrying about how I should be acting.
He's put a lot of effort into tomorrow, like buying food and actually tidying his room, but I'm just worried that we'll run out of things to talk about or whatever.
Thank you for your response though :D



gigstalksguy
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19 Jun 2014, 5:16 pm

I would suggest if you're worried about running out of things to say, there is a good technique that should help you, called conversation threading.

Here's an example, let's say he says "My dog was jumping up the stairs", he's given you three key words: dog, jump, stairs. You can take any one of these key words and say something relating to one of them.

Now you're not always going to get three keys words as such, its' merely an example (perhaps a lame example) to illustrate, It's taking his words and relating it to something about yourself. Once you master this skill you can take any conversation anywhere you like.

Just something to consider for once you have covered all the regular topics.

Alternatively, bring a few games, a DVD to watch, takes time away from talking an gives you another thing to talk about...

Have a great time together! :D


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