Why is it so difficult to make friends?

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Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 224
Location: San Francisco, CA

25 Feb 2007, 9:26 pm

I've had trouble making friends for most of my life, and partly I admit it was to me being very social-introverted. I got a job working in retail and well I can say that for the past six months I was pretty happy because I finally found people who wanted to hang out with me. Now they've left to another state, and I've been noticing that I am sliding back to my previous situation. The ironic thing is that I'm not trying to be socially-introverted anymore. I try to keep an open mind when it comes to people. If at my job I've helped someone out who was cool I would ask if we could hang out later (women especially, although I admit to many of them that it doesn't have to be a date). But that doesn't work because it feels like I am always second fiddle to people. I do not feel they are being honest with me because with the 'friends' I have now, I am always the one calling them up to go out. They never call me. They act grateful and talk to me, but they never want to return the favor or worse... they cancel any plans made because something came up or the whether isn't nice outside.

I don't get what I'm doing wrong. Doesn't it feel like everyone else in the world has an easier time making friends then we do? I want my old friends back.

tinky
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Joined: 24 Mar 2006
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25 Feb 2007, 10:22 pm

i have problems with knowing when someone can be considered a friend. it takes a lot of coaxing for me to finally become a friend with someone.

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Space
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Joined: 2 Apr 2006
Age: 40
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25 Feb 2007, 10:23 pm

Yes, making friends is tough. It seems to get more difficult as you get older too.

NeoPlatonist
Deinonychus

Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 356
Location: Indiana

25 Feb 2007, 10:32 pm

I don't have any friends to speak of. You are not alone.

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YowlingCat
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25 Feb 2007, 10:41 pm

You are not alone, indeed. It's very hard to make friends, or even to know who might be appropriate as a friend.

GoatOnFire
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25 Feb 2007, 10:55 pm

3 words. Because people suck.

paranoid_android
Toucan
Toucan

Joined: 1 Feb 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 263

26 Feb 2007, 12:41 am

Comkeen wrote:

That happened to me recently too just with friends from school. At the end of high school I finally found a group of people who didn't seem to mind me and I actually liked. Since I started university the only time I've talked to them was a few times over winter holidays. Now there's only one person I ever spend any time with and then it's only to do a lab or assignment.

lab_pet
Raven
Raven

Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 117
Location: Alaska

26 Feb 2007, 1:04 am

I don't know how.....I am the shy Lab Pet. NT's seem to have convoluted, arbitrary, complex, and mysterious rules. I have downloaded anthrolopology journals - NT's just don't follow the instruction manual. I am so confused......imaginery friends are better anyway. Oh! I do have a friend though (and he's a man)! SEXSEXSEX

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