Do you disclose?

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How often do you tell people you have ASD or Aspergers? Other than close friends or family? Do you tell people at work, school or other groups? Drop it casually when it comes up in conversation?

As for myself, I can be a bit reluctant to disclose, not because I find it shameful but because it feels like I'm making excuses for my faults or because people might have too many preconcieved notions or misconceptions.

That's me but how do other people handle it?

i do the same as you.

No.

I tried telling my friends about it to help them to understand my reactions to things, but when I try to talk about it with them they go very quiet and serious and try and change the subject, like I'm burdening them with the information. Some of them seem to think I'm making excuses for things or think I'm trying to say "oh woe is me, my life is so much harder than yours".

Not a single person I have told has taken it well or used the information to better understand me.

I won't be telling friends about it in the future, but I might tell future employers (I have told none in the past).

People seem to think I'm telling them I'm ret*d and proceed to tell me they don't think I have autism because I seem very intelligent to them, even though I have just explained to them properly what autism is and that it does mean I am dumb...

Characters on TV who are labelled as autistic or as having Asperger's are always poor examples in my opinion, but maybe I should start using some who are not labelled as such as examples when explaining to people... like Edd from Ed Edd and Eddy, but with less OCD.

I would recommend against it. There is no reason to expect employers to react more positively than your friends. On the contrary, some might use the information to exploit you or get rid of you at the next opportunity.

The exception would be if you have an employer who is used to employing autistics, and who has a good reputation.

That was very wise.

Having seen a few snippets of such characters is as much as most people would know about autism, and the resulting perceptions shape how you will be treated.

I tell people I'm dyslexic, have ADD & that I'm visually impaired but I don't tell them I have Aspergers because not even the psychs I saw seemed to really know what it was. They thought it was something like a less extreme form of mental retardation & said I communicated too well verbally & seemed too intelligent to have anything on the autism spectrum.

I'm kind of the same, I don't really tell people early on at all. I usually only tell people I've known for a long time.

For those who haven't been diagnosed with Asperger's, wouldn't it be wrong to disclose that they have Asperger's?

It seems to me that the most they could do is disclose that they might have Asperger's.

I wouldn't disclose my "disorder" to employers; it's none of their business, as long as I'm doing the work required.

I might disclose it to a person who has knowledge of ASD's, not to some schmuck on the street who probably doesn't know Asperger's from Asswipery.

The thing that bugs me about aspies on TV is that while they can have greatly exaggerated traits they also exaggerate their talents. Take for example the movie Adam. The protagonist did some very misguided things that I wouldn't do and yet he had a better job than I could hope to get. In some scenes he seemed to a genius. Maybe the Hollywood writers confused aspie with autistic savant.



I find that very disturbing. That a psychologist wouldn't have a proper understanding of a condition that affects millions of people. My GP has recommend I see a psychologist. Now he wants me to chose one. It would be nice if there were shrinks that specialized in aspergers.

It can be like that sometimes. I remember when I was a kid there was an organization called Autism SA and they didn't make quite enough distinction between the low functioning autistic and the aspies for my liking. Then again it was run by a bunch of NTs and how knows what falsehoods they learned in their disability training.



The funny thing is, most of my friends in meatspace are aspies. and not because I tried to seek out aspies. It just happened that way.



Yeah, people say stuff like that to me and not only when I comment on my aspiness but also... I've felt miserable for the last year and suspect that I may have undiagnosed depression, though I'm not qualified to make that diagnoses so that's why I want to get a shrink but any time I try to express myself people react like I'm just being an emo. So the solution is not to say stuff like that? Sure. Most of the time I don't. I even try to speak in a cheery tone of voice but pretending to be happy when you're not is kind of exhausting.

Only among family, friends and those lucky enough to have a need to know. Protecting my privacy is a big thing to me. While I don't care who knows, I am loathe to share information about me outside certain situations and contexts. Don't datamine me, bro!

Retrogamer87, I am the exact same as you. I had depression for a long time and finally overcame it. However, I still have a "dead" voice. For example, I specifically raise my voice as the situation warrants (If someone has bad news etc). Most of the time, I feel fake and don't even know if I have faked it well enough.. to sound sympathetic. It's just so difficult.

Yeah, TV makes no difference between Autistic Savants and Aspie's (ex: Spencer Reid, Sheldon Cooper etc). It's like.. on TV, there are only two types of Autie's: nonverbal children and high functioning geniuses. That's all they have.

The only people I have told since I was dx'd were two teachers, the student services office at school, my sister and a friend. I have no intention of telling anyone else... 1) They don't need to know. 2) They usually don't believe me. 3) I am already weird enough, why give anyone a label to use against me? (Because that's what a lot of NT's do).

How did you overcome it?

What I find is most people, including friends, seem to take it wrong one way or another.

Some will say, "so basically you are saying that you have insurmountable problems. I disagree with that." What? Insurmountable? Where did you pull that out of?

Others will say "I wish you understood that everybody has problems. Also that your "condition" is a gift, not a curse."

Still others will say, "You know that is very overdiagnosed, right?"

The list goes on and on. Basically they never respond the way you expected and you end up wishing you hadn't said anything.

i have only disclosed few times in my life, all to female friends.
one of them asked "what's wrong with you", i don't remember the reason for another one.
one of them said "i thought you had aspergers!" when i was holding a brochure with the word "autism" on it.

but most of the time people apparently already know by how i at.

when i get a job i do not plan do to disclose.

Retrogamer87, It is kind of complicated. I was in an abusive relationship for about a year until I ran away. I had ptsd and depression. It's been about four years now and time was the only thing that helped. I know that does not help at all... I'm sorry. My ex (and his dad) really knocked the stuffing/ life out of me and it took a really long time to get to a good place again. Time, time alone, books and slowly getting back into life (school etc) really helped. But it was a long process. I know that's probably not relevant though....