Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Dating sites and creepy messages

Page 1 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

alien91
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 26 Sep 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 96
Location: Tn,USA

18 Jul 2014, 9:29 am

Eureka13 wrote:
The copy and paste messages imply that the guy doesn't care who responds, i.e., ANY woman will do.

What I get out of it is "your picture met my minimum standards for physical attractiveness, and I can't be bothered to read your profile to see if we have something in common, and, oh, BTW, there were 100 other women whose photos also met my minimum standards for physical attractiveness, and it doesn't really matter which one of them I wind up with in the long run."

What it actually means is a man found you attractive and wants to see if you find him attractive and if you are open to being in contact with him. Why should a man have to go to the trouble of writing you a paragraph long custom message when he isn't sure if you will even respond? Why does he have to do it? Why don't women carry any of the weight?



TheGoggles
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Oct 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,060

18 Jul 2014, 9:42 am

alien91 wrote:
Eureka13 wrote:
The copy and paste messages imply that the guy doesn't care who responds, i.e., ANY woman will do.

What I get out of it is "your picture met my minimum standards for physical attractiveness, and I can't be bothered to read your profile to see if we have something in common, and, oh, BTW, there were 100 other women whose photos also met my minimum standards for physical attractiveness, and it doesn't really matter which one of them I wind up with in the long run."

What it actually means is a man found you attractive and wants to see if you find him attractive and if you are open to being in contact with him. Why should a man have to go to the trouble of writing you a paragraph long custom message when he isn't sure if you will even respond? Why does he have to do it? Why don't women carry any of the weight?


Do you like receiving form letters in response to comments/complaints you make to a business/government body? Why would this be any different?



Venger
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,519

18 Jul 2014, 10:01 am

^^^^
cause dating sites are mostly just a joke for women to get attention. (copy/paste messages qualify as attention)



Eureka13
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2013
Age: 67
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,058
Location: The wilds of Colorado

18 Jul 2014, 3:05 pm

alien91 wrote:
Eureka13 wrote:
The copy and paste messages imply that the guy doesn't care who responds, i.e., ANY woman will do.

What I get out of it is "your picture met my minimum standards for physical attractiveness, and I can't be bothered to read your profile to see if we have something in common, and, oh, BTW, there were 100 other women whose photos also met my minimum standards for physical attractiveness, and it doesn't really matter which one of them I wind up with in the long run."

What it actually means is a man found you attractive and wants to see if you find him attractive and if you are open to being in contact with him. Why should a man have to go to the trouble of writing you a paragraph long custom message when he isn't sure if you will even respond? Why does he have to do it? Why don't women carry any of the weight?


OMG, a paragraph-long message that shows that he read my profile? Heaven forbid someone should go to that much trouble!! !

But, seriously, I would respond to any "custom" message, even if it was only to say, "hey, thanks for the kind words, but it really doesn't look like we have much in common." The copy and paste messages get categorically ignored - I really don't care how physically attractive a man is - if he can't be bothered to read my profile, we pretty much *automatically* have nothing in common. If all he's attracted to is my looks, once again, we automatically have nothing in common.

Now, a "template" message that is essentially the same for everyone except that it mentions things specific to my profile? I've got no problem with that. Example: "I read your profile and noticed that we have <fill in the blank> in common. You sound like an interesting person, and I'd like to get to know you better."



Vomelche
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Nov 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 789
Location: Ontario

18 Jul 2014, 7:28 pm

^ that sounds more reasonable. Its kind of what I did and was somewhat successful. But even then its very much a matter of luck and attractiveness, so one shouldn't expect to get many responses.



Misslizard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 20,471
Location: Aux Arcs

19 Jul 2014, 11:07 am

I quit using dating sites because of creepers.Got one message that a guy wanted to massage me,this was the second thing he ever said.Than some PUA photos of shirtless dudes posing in the mirror,they were considerably younger than me so I figured they sent all the older gals the same thing,thinking we'd be up for just a roll in the hay.The last fellow said that the girls in my county were mean,but I looked nice,wasn't sure what to make of that.
Gonna die alone. :(


_________________
I am the dust that dances in the light. - Rumi