Wondering if I belong here?

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Hello I'm new!

I found wrong planet after seeking help for anxiety and exhaustion problems. My psychologist spent about 15mins talking to me before suggesting autistic spectrum as a possibility for me. Initially I wasn't sure but after doing some research I starting to wonder if he is right?

Here's an introduction to me. I'm a girl in my mid twenties who lives independently and works full time. I have severe sensory problems with sound and light, they are unbearable and painful. I have been like this as long as I can remember, but was always told I was overreacting from when i was very young so I try to carry on regardless. I dissociate to cope. I have a standardised IQ of 150 - I know this doesn't mean much but I'm bright! I have never had a relationship and find the idea of approaching anyone terrifying, I just wouldn't know what to do. I have a few friends who I have known for years but have no idea how to go about making new friends now I have finished university and moved area. I'm starting to feel lonely, I need help but I don't know how to ask for it or if anything actually can help. In social situations I am OK if there are no more than 2 other people so I can take in every movement and expression they make and use my learned catalogue of observed behaviours to work out what and isn't an appropriate response. In this situation i have been told by friends that they wouldn't know i was doing this. In a group attempting to do this is just too tiring and I shut down after about 30mins. In new situations I spend 4-5weeks on the sidelines observing until I workout how the group functions.

I'm constantly moving either flapping my hands, jigging my leg or fiddling with things. It is extremely hard for me to stop these. I can do it as I'm aware they make other people uncomfortable. I can make good eye contact if I am not tired but find it a huge strain if I am in a highly sensory environment or if I have not slept well. I was bullied everyday through school. I also have a emotion to colour synesthesia.

Any insight would be very gratefully received. Thankyou

You've come to the right place.

Welcome to the Forum.

You have much in common with many of the "denizens" here

Your first topic: Your synesthesia, which should garner some responses.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

To me that sure sounds like an aspie. So it could be worth checking out.

If you just start looking up ASD and find that what is described isn't really you, don't write it off straight away. People with ASD are so very different. I think you should investigate!

Thankyou for your welcomes! I do wonder if it is worth pursuing a diagnosis as I'm not sure I'd meet the vague "clinically significant impairment" part of the criteria. What does that actually mean??! ! If it's the ability to carry on regardless, hold a job and live independently then I can do that. Or does it take into account that I have had to intellectually learn what the majority of behaviours mean and I am struggling to functioning outside work because I'm so exhausted from being around people and under fluorescent lighting all day. I don't have a lot of resources spare to try to convince a doctor that I should be refered for diagnosis, is it worth it?

Thankyou all for taking the time to hear me. It's the first time I've ever expressed how it feels to be me. It's scary and little sad that it's taken this long but I do also feel liberated.