The adventures of logic boy

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While browsing the interwebz, I came across this link: http://life.familyeducation.com/asperge ... 40203.html

The description of "logic boy" in this article fits me to a T. Ever since I was a boy, I have been diametrically opposed to being asked to accept premises that I don't understand or agree with. It really bugs me and, frankly, I think it hinders my dating skill.

A frequently asked question (one that I have posed myself many times) is why a lot of girls can't just tell you directly that they are not interested, rather than ignoring you or making excuses to avoid you.

The answer, we are told, is that girls are afraid to tell you directly and they hope that you will just "take the hint".

However, I have found that, if you try and put this into practice, girls will bend over backwards to try and convince you NOT to take the hint. For example:

* I went out with a girl at law school. She started acting cold and distant for no reason. I asked her why, and she said it was because she was so busy with studying. I thought this was obviously an excuse, because I was also studying and I still managed to find the time for a relationship, as did everyone else. So I ended the relationship and deleted her from Facebook. Suddenly, *I* was the big meanie.

* I went out on a few dates with a girl I got chatting to in a bar via a friend. She didn't save my number down, and if I texted her to ask how she was, she would say "fine thanks" without asking me back. She even made a point of telling me she had "commitment issues". But if I took the hint and backed off, she would start whining that I wasn't texting her enough or asking what I had got her for Christmas. When I eventually dumped her, she told me I had been soooo harsh for dumping her, went back out with me, then dumped me the next day for no reason.

* There is a girl I am friends with from a previous job. She lives in Birmingham, which is quite far away. However, she insisted that she wanted to remain friends after the job ended because she thought I was an amazing person.

She then found out, through a mutual friend, that I had feelings for her, and asked me why I didn't tell her. I said I had been worried about making her uncomfortable as I knew she had a long term boyfriend and she lived very far away. She said that, while she would rather I had told her directly, she understood that my reasons came from a good place, and she insisted that there was NO WAY she would ever want to stop meeting up with me.

However, when we arrange to meet, 95% of the time she comes up with an excuse at the last minute. I know, I know, I am supposed to take the hint. The problem is, whenever she gets a whiff of an idea that I don't believe her - even when I don't say so directly - she launches into some massive tirade about it and begs and pleads for me to trust her. Then it happens again. Rinse, repeat.

So, thanks for reading this far! I guess my question is this: if girls want you to "take the hint" when they get flaky, why do they bend over backwards to convince you otherwise?

Because you're seen as being a challenge. Once there is no longer a challenge, the thrill of it is gone, and the girl goes on to someone else.

Most people aren't like that, though, especially after they reach a certain age.

So what are your super powers, Logic Boy?

This sounds closely related to how people that ignore you will often get mad when you ignore them back.(i.e. they want recognition for their smug-superior-attitude)

In official testing circumstances, I've found out that I'm actually quite rationally+logically minded, but I don't think it translates to how many people see my occasionally flippant attitude. haha
All I'm saying is that even though I'm biologically female, I can totally relate to you with your qualms and quandaries. I abhor it when people do things like that, and many of my male "flirtationships/romantic relations" have done so in the past, at great expense to my mental health. Fluctuations with someones attitude (especially when in relation to myself) just freak me out, especially since I already have immense difficulties with trusting people. A common throw-away line is "sorry, I haven't had time to text you back". So they haven't had a spare minute? Literally, just 60 seconds to write and send a short text? Sometimes it'll take them a week to respond, and I'll confront them rationally stating all the reasons their attitudes are contradicting their supposed "interests" and "cares" in me. They apologize, I begrudgingly accept the apology, the process repeats. And then I just give up because they're being pathetic and childish, not to mention disrespectful. Ugh. I even had an Aspergers guy do something like this to me for over a month. Quite disappointing, not to mention distressing.

I have a bad feeling that most people just don't care how much their actions effect other people. In fact, I sadly know this to be true. It's not an NT or AS thing, either; just a world-wide affliction that many people just can't be bothered with the simple act of caring or thinking through a set of social reactions they have pitched. Maybe I just notice this trend because I'm typically hyper-aware of how my actions and words affect the rest of the world, and I always try to explain my actions and "feelings" over given matters so as not to perplex.

In ending, I send good wills your way, TimmyBoy, and hope that you encounter more mature women in your travels. Maybe cougars. What I mainly mean is "mentally mature", though. hahah
You sound like a perfectly able and interesting guy, though, so maybe nicer people will pick up on that soon.

Actually, I just read that article, and OMG. 99.5% describes me perfectly. Asides from the pronoun but pronouns are flexible and who really cares anyways

They could certainly find a spare moment while they are pooping; if they really cared.

I defiately think that some people just want an ego boost, they want to know that someone is attracted to them so that they can feel good. They don't care who the person is, they don't want anything to do with the person, they just want to be admired.

I've had this happen with men too. They didn't like me, they just liked the attention.