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ritualdrama
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29 Jul 2014, 3:12 pm

I find that whenever I am not immediately being given a reason to smile, I just. Can't. Smile. Without feeling like people can tell I am faking it. The other day I went into a restaurant to apply for a job. I tried to smile, but I was too nervous and I could feel the ends of my grin shaking. I was worried that they would be able to tell. Like, I might have looked like I was about to cry because of how much my smile was shaking. I was worried about this so I just tried not to smile but to still look "happy".

I really have a hard time gauging how to be "professional" and not too "professional" that it's awkward.

And when I have to interact with customers it is hard for me to smile. And sometimes when I see people my face reacts a certain way that might make me look like I am disgusted by them. The only way I can describe how my face reacts when I see people is that my lip kind of twitches and my side of my nose lifts up like a snarl or something. So, I end up just trying to keep my face as blank as possible so I don't appear rude.


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1401b
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29 Jul 2014, 3:48 pm

Don't fake it then, offer them a real smile.
Pretend you want to offer them a real smile and hand it out like you've got extras.


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cberg
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29 Jul 2014, 3:50 pm

I just annoyed my lady friend for basically this exact reason, when phone calls make me smile my voice cracks into this breathy tenor that indubitably drives everyone nuts. When I smile in person however I think I've almost gotten used to it. With HFA someone's always going to find me rude, I counter it with optimism and forgiveness. Balance in life is all in one's mind, I used to practice all my expressions in the bathroom mirror. Someday people will believe me.


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29 Jul 2014, 4:59 pm

A fake smile does not use the upper portion of your face muscles. People fake it all the time. Sometimes it looks good so people get away with it. The nose thing is a sign of disgust. You might as well just say EEEEEEWWWW!! !!. SOO even though you really want to, you probably should not. It is really hard for me, but you sould practice keeping an even smile. You're in service, soo these things are more like a practice than anything. A waitress/waiter that gets good tips cons everyone into believing that she likes them very much, and is always happy. It is such a lie :lol: .
Some actually do o.k. all straight faced and serious. But in todays world, managers, and buisness owners usually emplore a happy worker. I hate all that nicey nice stuff. Home Depot is the worst. I can't even answer them most of the time. All that politeness, asking me questions, and trying to help gives me a sensory overload. How much can a person actually know that works at home depot anyways?



Curiouser
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29 Jul 2014, 5:30 pm

Surely you are the sane one in the room; your position is like that of the doctor who tries to get by incognito after the patients take over the asylum by learning the right way to pick at imaginary bugs in his skin to appear genuine. Still, surely there must be _something_ you can imagine to give you something to smile about. Like all of the nasty things you might or might not be putting in their food........



LupaLuna
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29 Jul 2014, 6:24 pm

I can put on a perfectly real smile when I am laughing. otherwise, forget it. I could never just do it at will and if I try. It looks fake as hell.



FracturedRocket
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29 Jul 2014, 6:30 pm

I hear you on this one. I don't smile unless I have a reason to smile, much to the annoyance of everyone around me, who inevitably tell me that I need to smile more. :?


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wavecannon
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29 Jul 2014, 7:32 pm

I don't think I'm much of a fake smiler and tend to avoid it in photos and so on, but I do think in say, situations where I'm trying to get a job, I'll nervously smile as part of my general (fairly embarrassing) act of becoming a full-on company man to impress them.

If you want to learn to distinguish fake smiles look at the upper face and if the eyes aren't creasing with crow's feet then it may be fake. Practise this by looking at pictures of Tony Blair.