Dating an anti-feminist girl

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Patrick64
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07 Aug 2014, 11:26 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1SI3KTYfVw

I just seen this. My mind is blown. I find myself more attracted to people that understand than others.

As a guy with AS, I don't feel comfortable dating feminists because I personally believe that they want more for themselves and less for their boyfriends/husbands. As cynical as it sounds, it's hard to trust someone like that, however there are girls such as the one on that video that understand how men are and are less likely to take advantage of a man (and not being taken advantage of from a man).

Hopefully one day, we can truly have gender equality, but until then, we always have to watch our backs.

Anyways, has anyone had some positive experiences dating anti-feminists as opposed to dating feminist women?



tarantella64
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08 Aug 2014, 12:07 am

Okay, I'm trying to make what you're saying make sense, but it isn't working.

More and less of what?

Feminism is about recognizing that women are actual people, and not using them, believing they owe you things just because they're women, discriminating against them, or treating them as objects.

That's pretty much it.



Patrick64
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08 Aug 2014, 12:12 am

not what I heard from the video in my OP(mind you this is a girl speaking). If you watch the video, you may have an idea of what I'm talking about.



tarantella64
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08 Aug 2014, 12:34 am

She sounds pretty young and silly, also like she's unaware...well, of a lot. Give her a decade of trying to get along in the world, and my guess is she'll figure some things out.

Anyway. No, she's not doing a good job of characterizing feminism.



progaspie
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08 Aug 2014, 12:55 am

tarantella64 wrote:
She sounds pretty young and silly, also like she's unaware...well, of a lot. Give her a decade of trying to get along in the world, and my guess is she'll figure some things out.

Anyway. No, she's not doing a good job of characterizing feminism.


I played the video and thought she conveyed feminism very well actually. A lot of feminists are pursuing causes that have nothing to do with the advancement of women, for instance, they tend to support a lot of left wing causes. As for whether a man should date a women who is feminist or anti-feminist, I think should have very little to do with the relationship.



tarantella64
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08 Aug 2014, 2:14 am

Not sure how that makes sense, either. One can be a feminist and also support causes that have nothing to do with feminism, or nothing directly to do with feminism. I mean that's part of the point, feminists are people, they have that kind of latitude.

I'm also wondering where she's getting some of her information from, because these feminists she's describing are not people I've met or dealt with online. Unfriendliness to trans women, for instance...no, I've not met any feminists like that.



progaspie
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08 Aug 2014, 2:27 am

tarantella64 wrote:
Not sure how that makes sense, either. One can be a feminist and also support causes that have nothing to do with feminism, or nothing directly to do with feminism. I mean that's part of the point, feminists are people, they have that kind of latitude.

I'm also wondering where she's getting some of her information from, because these feminists she's describing are not people I've met or dealt with online. Unfriendliness to trans women, for instance...no, I've not met any feminists like that.

Germane Greer has said terrible things about trans women. The vast number of feminists I have heard, expouse left wing causes.



Patrick64
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08 Aug 2014, 2:34 am

progaspie wrote:
As for whether a man should date a women who is feminist or anti-feminist, I think should have very little to do with the relationship.


I agree however, there are women that want to control men and just get what they want without the regard of the men's happiness. There is always that one fact that there are people that do want a relationship can't stand being single. I also am reading "The Manipulated Man" by Esther Vilar (mind you this is a female author), because I would like a relationship, but not be controlled and manipulated, and lied to by other people.



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08 Aug 2014, 6:25 am

progaspie wrote:
tarantella64 wrote:
She sounds pretty young and silly, also like she's unaware...well, of a lot. Give her a decade of trying to get along in the world, and my guess is she'll figure some things out.

Anyway. No, she's not doing a good job of characterizing feminism.


I played the video and thought she conveyed feminism very well actually. A lot of feminists are pursuing causes that have nothing to do with the advancement of women, for instance, they tend to support a lot of left wing causes. As for whether a man should date a women who is feminist or anti-feminist, I think should have very little to do with the relationship.


there are plenty of different shades of feminism. I'm vehemently against the subjugation of women as any reasonable person should be, but what most mainstream feminist do and say makes me want to rebel against that label.

when guys say they hate feminism or are against it, they usually mean the small but vocal part of the movement; white upper-middle-class straight cis women are the ones with the most access to mass media, which is why their agenda is splayed everywhere.

I agree that this would not have much impact on the relationship.


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Cafeaulait
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08 Aug 2014, 6:28 am

I agree with tantarella



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08 Aug 2014, 7:08 am

anna-banana wrote:
progaspie wrote:
tarantella64 wrote:
She sounds pretty young and silly, also like she's unaware...well, of a lot. Give her a decade of trying to get along in the world, and my guess is she'll figure some things out.

Anyway. No, she's not doing a good job of characterizing feminism.


I played the video and thought she conveyed feminism very well actually. A lot of feminists are pursuing causes that have nothing to do with the advancement of women, for instance, they tend to support a lot of left wing causes. As for whether a man should date a women who is feminist or anti-feminist, I think should have very little to do with the relationship.


there are plenty of different shades of feminism. I'm vehemently against the subjugation of women as any reasonable person should be, but what most mainstream feminist do and say makes me want to rebel against that label.

when guys say they hate feminism or are against it, they usually mean the small but vocal part of the movement; white upper-middle-class straight cis women are the ones with the most access to mass media, which is why their agenda is splayed everywhere.

I agree that this would not have much impact on the relationship.

I agree with this, which is why I think people, both men and women should start using the term equality over feminism. I don't like people being boxed into categories, atleast when it comes from a legal standpoint. We shouldn't look at people as men, women, white, black, asian, latin, ect. Everyone from a legal standpoint should be the same, including with marriage. I do not agree with hate crime laws, or civil right laws, since it groups people in a legal sense.



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08 Aug 2014, 10:14 am

Quoting CommanderKeen:

'I agree with this, which is why I think people, both men and women should start using the term equality over feminism..."

I grew up in the 70s and 80s and saw how some people recoiled against the term "femimism" and I thought that the heart of the movement was often misrepresented and misinterpreted as time went by. I'm against oppressing, manipulating, objectifying, and treating anyone as a lesser being. I consider myself an egalitarian, but only because the term "feminist" has taken on so much junk, including the association with mistreating men--which most feminists don't support! However, I am grateful to all who came before me who made it legal/possible/acceptable for me to do such simple things as wearing pants, voting, driving, using birth control, choosing to have a career/family/both, and so on. There is still progress to be made on all sides of the human rights front, but we have indeed come a long way.

Regarding not looking at people as "men, women, white, black, asian, latin, etc." and not agreeing with civil rights laws: if it weren't for those laws, the ONLY thing many people would see is skin tone, gender, ethnicity and so on! The crucial point is whether we see those distinctions as limiting or bad, or (to quote Morgan Freeman as Azeem in Prince of Theives) as "wonderous variety" to be celebrated and respected along with all that we share in common.



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08 Aug 2014, 10:22 am

CommanderKeen wrote:

We shouldn't look at people as men, women, white, black, asian, latin, ect. Everyone from a legal standpoint should be the same, including with marriage. I do not agree with hate crime laws, or civil right laws, since it groups people in a legal sense.


everyone should be treated equally from the legal standpoint, but denying our identity as men, women or members of an ethnic, religious or national group is just plain repressive.

some groups really are hugely disadvantaged and oppressed. believing that all people have equal opportunities right now is just plain delusion.


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08 Aug 2014, 10:43 am

I define a "feminist" as someone (not necessarily female) who believes in equal legal rights for the genders and who believes in treating men as equal partners, not silly dupes to be manipulated into coughing up dough for the goodies she desires.



onewithstrange
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08 Aug 2014, 12:43 pm

Feminism isn't about gender equality, Eureka. It's about pushing women's agenda, often at the expense of a man's or by placing blame at men's feet. If I'm called anti-feminist for pointing out the obvious, I'm okay with that.


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08 Aug 2014, 12:44 pm

Eureka13 wrote:
I define a "feminist" as someone (not necessarily female) who believes in equal legal rights for the genders and who believes in treating men as equal partners, not silly dupes to be manipulated into coughing up dough for the goodies she desires.


Exactly. Feminism is about equality.