Dating an anti-feminist girl

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onewithstrange
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13 Aug 2014, 12:20 am

tarantella64 wrote:
If you talk about someone implying you're a rapist, and in the same breath show yourself a calendar-keeping petty person and hostile to women generally, you...kinda give credence to the idea that maybe that implication has something to it. Like if I just walked in, and didn't know any of the people here, I'd think, "Maybe this tarantella's on to something." I do think you're a complete bozo on the subject of nonverbal cues. But a rapist, not unless someone turns up saying "he raped me." The way you've arranged your sigfile, though, you're asking for people to think that maybe there's, you know, an issue with you.


I have a mathematics degree and I'm an electrical engineering student. Trust me, keeping track of one more number is hardly a strain on my brain, especially not when it helps me make a point that's important to me. I'm not hostile to women generally (another bogus claim, what a surprise), though I am clearly hostile to feminism's claim of supporting equal rights, as well as the sexism on this board that suggests a guy can't act on nonverbal cues without inherently disrespecting a woman. I'm also hostile to you for very specific reasons you're well aware of and for which you still haven't taken responsibility, despite moderator XFilesGeek assuring me he sent you a PM toward that end. In fact, this is his entire last PM to me:

XFilesGeek wrote:
OWS,

I've received no reply to my request to Tarantella to apologize to you; therefore, I've completely removed the topic from public view. A lot of pretty crappy things were said on that topic, and I don't want it to keep stinking up the place. I'm also going to be sending a warning to Tarantella not to engage in that sort of behavior again.

In the future, please let me, or another moderator, know if you are attacked in a similar fashion.

Thank you.


tarantella64 wrote:
To clarify, I never implied you're a rapist.


Fully five other people, including a moderator, have agreed with me that what you said sounds rapey, warrants an apology, or constitutes an attack. As vickygleitz pointed out, you may have underestimated how severely your words affected me. Here's the quote for prosperity, so people can again decide for themselves (bold emphasis mine):

tarantella64 wrote:
Congratulations for convincing me that you've got little enough self-control, and little enough respect for women, that women would be well-advised not to date you or get into elevators with you.


If you expected me to not take that personally, you were very sorely mistaken. I gave you the perfect opportunity to take back your words here. After relating my story of how upset I was for being made to feel that I intended harm on others, I really thought you would have shown me sympathy and would do the right thing. But what did I get in my inbox instead? You still adamantly arguing you're not guilty of wrongdoing; how I insult people when in actuality I insulted only you by saying (and I quote) "you represent the worst of feminism" and then only after you repeatedly undermined my own successful experiences with dating and made me to feel like I'm utterly incompetent, loathingly disrespectful, and impossibly dense; how I'm irrational; how I (and I quote) "disagreed with [you] vehemently for no apparent reason" even when I started out calm and said multiple times what my position was; how I'm "hugging this idea that I'm calling you a rapist like it's the last lifesaver on the Titanic" as if I'm happy to keep bringing up your hurtful words, and as if you really have no idea how hurtful saying what you did was. And for the record, I said you implied or suggested it. I'd pull up Merriam again to show you intent isn't required for an implication, but even I've grown too tired of myself doing that (do it yourselves, folks). I refuse to make any excuses about feeling very angry and upset with you in particular, tarantella64.

Now. With all that said, I'm fully and completely wanting to gratefully walk away from my antagonism, anger, and frustration and will if you would agree that, indeed, maybe you don't have the full picture and that, even if you don't understand me, you shouldn't have said what you did. Please. Believe me, I'd like nothing more than to drop this feud and these dreadful feelings. I'm exhausted and I'd frankly rather talk about something else. I can't let it slide until I'm vindicated, but I'd really like nothing more than to stop bringing it up. Truly. Could you please take it back? What would I have to say or do for you to take it back?


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13 Aug 2014, 2:13 am

CommanderKeen wrote:
Wait? Are you saying that is a woman discriminates against a man in the workplace, it's not as bad as a men discriminating against a woman?


That's a surprisingly (or not) common belief on the lefty side of things, you'll see a very similar rationale used to argue that anti-white racism, for example, is different than the other kinds because of the historical context, etc, completely ignoring the fact that none of that really matters to the victim of said bigotry.


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tarantella64
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13 Aug 2014, 4:31 am

ows, that deserves a real response, but I am slammed with work and will not likely get to it before the weekend. Just letting you know I'm not ignoring you.



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13 Aug 2014, 4:59 am

Dox47 wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Wait? Are you saying that is a woman discriminates against a man in the workplace, it's not as bad as a men discriminating against a woman?


That's a surprisingly (or not) common belief on the lefty side of things, you'll see a very similar rationale used to argue that anti-white racism, for example, is different than the other kinds because of the historical context, etc, completely ignoring the fact that none of that really matters to the victim of said bigotry.


And is a very legit rationale. Go left-wings!



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13 Aug 2014, 6:41 am

Cafeaulait wrote:
Dox47 wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Wait? Are you saying that is a woman discriminates against a man in the workplace, it's not as bad as a men discriminating against a woman?


That's a surprisingly (or not) common belief on the lefty side of things, you'll see a very similar rationale used to argue that anti-white racism, for example, is different than the other kinds because of the historical context, etc, completely ignoring the fact that none of that really matters to the victim of said bigotry.


And is a very legit rationale. Go left-wings!

No it isn't. You stating that proves you don't believe in equality, but some form of entitlement. There is a difference between believing everyone should be treated with respect, as opposed to feeling you are entitled to be treated a certain way because of the atrocities of the past. This is just one the reasons why I don't like the term feminism and am in favor of equality. Let me ask you this, do you think if a woman commits a crime, lets say murder for instance. Should she get less of a sentence than a man, simply because she's a woman? What if it was another crime, like shop lifting, tax evasion, possession of an illegal substance.



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13 Aug 2014, 8:00 am

onewithstrange wrote:
tarantella64 wrote:
If you talk about someone implying you're a rapist, and in the same breath show yourself a calendar-keeping petty person and hostile to women generally, you...kinda give credence to the idea that maybe that implication has something to it. Like if I just walked in, and didn't know any of the people here, I'd think, "Maybe this tarantella's on to something." I do think you're a complete bozo on the subject of nonverbal cues. But a rapist, not unless someone turns up saying "he raped me." The way you've arranged your sigfile, though, you're asking for people to think that maybe there's, you know, an issue with you.


I have a mathematics degree and I'm an electrical engineering student. Trust me, keeping track of one more number is hardly a strain on my brain, especially not when it helps me make a point that's important to me. I'm not hostile to women generally (another bogus claim, what a surprise), though I am clearly hostile to feminism's claim of supporting equal rights, as well as the sexism on this board that suggests a guy can't act on nonverbal cues without inherently disrespecting a woman. I'm also hostile to you for very specific reasons you're well aware of and for which you still haven't taken responsibility, despite moderator XFilesGeek assuring me he sent you a PM toward that end. In fact, this is his entire last PM to me:

XFilesGeek wrote:
OWS,

I've received no reply to my request to Tarantella to apologize to you; therefore, I've completely removed the topic from public view. A lot of pretty crappy things were said on that topic, and I don't want it to keep stinking up the place. I'm also going to be sending a warning to Tarantella not to engage in that sort of behavior again.

In the future, please let me, or another moderator, know if you are attacked in a similar fashion.

Thank you.


tarantella64 wrote:
To clarify, I never implied you're a rapist.


Fully five other people, including a moderator, have agreed with me that what you said sounds rapey, warrants an apology, or constitutes an attack. As vickygleitz pointed out, you may have underestimated how severely your words affected me. Here's the quote for prosperity, so people can again decide for themselves (bold emphasis mine):

tarantella64 wrote:
Congratulations for convincing me that you've got little enough self-control, and little enough respect for women, that women would be well-advised not to date you or get into elevators with you.


If you expected me to not take that personally, you were very sorely mistaken. I gave you the perfect opportunity to take back your words here. After relating my story of how upset I was for being made to feel that I intended harm on others, I really thought you would have shown me sympathy and would do the right thing. But what did I get in my inbox instead? You still adamantly arguing you're not guilty of wrongdoing; how I insult people when in actuality I insulted only you by saying (and I quote) "you represent the worst of feminism" and then only after you repeatedly undermined my own successful experiences with dating and made me to feel like I'm utterly incompetent, loathingly disrespectful, and impossibly dense; how I'm irrational; how I (and I quote) "disagreed with [you] vehemently for no apparent reason" even when I started out calm and said multiple times what my position was; how I'm "hugging this idea that I'm calling you a rapist like it's the last lifesaver on the Titanic" as if I'm happy to keep bringing up your hurtful words, and as if you really have no idea how hurtful saying what you did was. And for the record, I said you implied or suggested it. I'd pull up Merriam again to show you intent isn't required for an implication, but even I've grown too tired of myself doing that (do it yourselves, folks). I refuse to make any excuses about feeling very angry and upset with you in particular, tarantella64.

Now. With all that said, I'm fully and completely wanting to gratefully walk away from my antagonism, anger, and frustration and will if you would agree that, indeed, maybe you don't have the full picture and that, even if you don't understand me, you shouldn't have said what you did. Please. Believe me, I'd like nothing more than to drop this feud and these dreadful feelings. I'm exhausted and I'd frankly rather talk about something else. I can't let it slide until I'm vindicated, but I'd really like nothing more than to stop bringing it up. Truly. Could you please take it back? What would I have to say or do for you to take it back?


Dude, you're obsessed and taking this way too personally.

You can't be overtly antagonistic to someone and then turn around and play the "poor me" card when they have the audacity to dare talk back to you.

It's completely clear from this thread alone that you have no actual idea how you come across. You're signature doesn't make you seem like some kind of debate master proudly sticking it to the feminist overlords or a victim worthy of sympathy. It makes you come across as petty, obsessed and (dare i say it) kinda creepy. If you fly off the handle at every percieved slight by a woman on an internet message board, it does raise concerns about how you react to women in real life.

You're already violating the TOS by quoting private messages. Whats next in your crusade? Doxing? I know that's the go-to form of Men's Rights "Activism."



onewithstrange
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13 Aug 2014, 10:08 am

Geekonychus wrote:
Dude, you're obsessed and taking this way too personally.


Geekonychus wrote:
You can't be overtly antagonistic to someone and then turn around and play the "poor me" card when they have the audacity to dare talk back to you.


Where was I "overly antagonistic" to someone prior to tarantella suggesting I was a rapist? Show me. I don't mind being talked back to; what I do mind is being essentially called a rapist for doing what most of the NT world also does.

Geekonychus wrote:
It's completely clear from this thread alone that you have no actual idea how you come across.


Ridiculous? Petty? An as*hole? I know how it looks and I'm okay with all of those because I know that prior to the 'I misread a situation and accidentally kissed a friend' thread, I was none of them.

Geekonychus wrote:
If you fly off the handle at every percieved slight by a woman on an internet message board...


Tarantella implied I was a rapist for acting on nonverbal cues. A rapist, Geekonychus. I didn't "fly off the handle" at anything less than that.

Geekonychus wrote:
...it does raise concerns about how you react to women in real life.


I've never reacted this way in real life, but then I've never been called a rapist in real life, either.

Geekonychus wrote:
You're already violating the TOS by quoting private messages. Whats next in your crusade? Doxing? I know that's the go-to form of Men's Rights "Activism."


I've just looked up the terms of service and it looks like you're right, private messages aren't meant to be read by others. But if I'm held accountable for violating board policy, then tarantella should be as well. She's had ample opportunity to make up for it and has since refused. From Alex's rules post:

Quote:
2. Personal attacks.
This includes insinuation, ridicule and personal insults, regardless of whether direct or indirect. Attacking an opinion, belief or philosophy is acceptable, but attacking the person making the comments is not.


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kraftiekortie
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13 Aug 2014, 10:21 am

Hey man,

I understand you feel wronged.

But this is only the Internet.

You have a life outside the Internet. You're going to achieve great things, should you stick to your plan.

Forget this grudge; it will only eat at your whole being.



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13 Aug 2014, 11:46 am

Cafeaulait wrote:
Dox47 wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Wait? Are you saying that is a woman discriminates against a man in the workplace, it's not as bad as a men discriminating against a woman?


That's a surprisingly (or not) common belief on the lefty side of things, you'll see a very similar rationale used to argue that anti-white racism, for example, is different than the other kinds because of the historical context, etc, completely ignoring the fact that none of that really matters to the victim of said bigotry.


And is a very legit rationale. Go left-wings!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcb_4nk4t4Q
I think she pretty much hits the nail on the head here. By the way the youtube embed features is not working correctly. Could a mod fix this please? Thanks.



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13 Aug 2014, 12:42 pm

onewithstrange wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
Dude, you're obsessed and taking this way too personally.


Geekonychus wrote:
You can't be overtly antagonistic to someone and then turn around and play the "poor me" card when they have the audacity to dare talk back to you.


Where was I "overly antagonistic" to someone prior to tarantella suggesting I was a rapist? Show me. I don't mind being talked back to; what I do mind is being essentially called a rapist for doing what most of the NT world also does.

Geekonychus wrote:
It's completely clear from this thread alone that you have no actual idea how you come across.


Ridiculous? Petty? An as*hole? I know how it looks and I'm okay with all of those because I know that prior to the 'I misread a situation and accidentally kissed a friend' thread, I was none of them.

Geekonychus wrote:
If you fly off the handle at every percieved slight by a woman on an internet message board...


Tarantella implied I was a rapist for acting on nonverbal cues. A rapist, Geekonychus. I didn't "fly off the handle" at anything less than that.

Geekonychus wrote:
...it does raise concerns about how you react to women in real life.


I've never reacted this way in real life, but then I've never been called a rapist in real life, either.

Geekonychus wrote:
You're already violating the TOS by quoting private messages. Whats next in your crusade? Doxing? I know that's the go-to form of Men's Rights "Activism."


I've just looked up the terms of service and it looks like you're right, private messages aren't meant to be read by others. But if I'm held accountable for violating board policy, then tarantella should be as well. She's had ample opportunity to make up for it and has since refused. From Alex's rules post:

Quote:
2. Personal attacks.
This includes insinuation, ridicule and personal insults, regardless of whether direct or indirect. Attacking an opinion, belief or philosophy is acceptable, but attacking the person making the comments is not.


I'm not obsessed enough with this topic to go back and dredge up old posts but I recall enough of that thread to remember the main issue being that Briansruns was specifically having issues with nonverbal communication and you were giving him advice that reinforced the idea that he shouldn't ask for clarification beforehand and should just try to guess (which is exactly what got him in the situation in the first place.) People tried to explian to you how encouraging a person with non-verbal communication issues to continue relying on non-verbal communication (when they could instead ask beforehand just to be safe) might not be very good advice. If I'm recalling correctly, this caused you to fly off the handle and accuse Tarentella and others of being bullies (for having dared suggest as such) resulting in the topic getting derailed and the arguments getting personal.

The simple fact of the matter is that nobody actually called you a rapist. That's why you couldn't even find a single out of context quote from Tarentella to include in your signature. Even then, sounds like she did get a warning from the moderator as did you. Both of you were held accountable and it's over. Everyone else but you has moved on.

Right now, you're the only person now clearly violating the TOS with your personal attacks. Your signature is an even bigger violation than the PM reposts. These one sided feuds of yours just scream "boundry issues." You can't even respect the boundries of this board why should anyone assume you respect the boundries of others in real life? You could be a perfectly kind and respectful bloke but that sure as hell isn't the side you show this board.



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13 Aug 2014, 1:02 pm

CommanderKeen wrote:
Cafeaulait wrote:
Dox47 wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Wait? Are you saying that is a woman discriminates against a man in the workplace, it's not as bad as a men discriminating against a woman?


That's a surprisingly (or not) common belief on the lefty side of things, you'll see a very similar rationale used to argue that anti-white racism, for example, is different than the other kinds because of the historical context, etc, completely ignoring the fact that none of that really matters to the victim of said bigotry.


And is a very legit rationale. Go left-wings!

No it isn't. You stating that proves you don't believe in equality, but some form of entitlement. There is a difference between believing everyone should be treated with respect, as opposed to feeling you are entitled to be treated a certain way because of the atrocities of the past. This is just one the reasons why I don't like the term feminism and am in favor of equality. Let me ask you this, do you think if a woman commits a crime, lets say murder for instance. Should she get less of a sentence than a man, simply because she's a woman? What if it was another crime, like shop lifting, tax evasion, possession of an illegal substance.


Bullshit. It has nothing to do with entitlement, but with honest equality and unearned priviledge. I used to think like you when I was 16 years old, but as a biracial female I can now honestly say that I will never date nor mary a men that thinks like that.



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13 Aug 2014, 1:07 pm

Lol, seems like more people are coming round to onewithstrange. He does sound pretty kinda obsessed with the 'please take your words back'.



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13 Aug 2014, 1:14 pm

[MODERATOR HAT ON]

After reviewing this thread, I feel the need to clarify a few things:

1. The thread in question is closed, dead, and gone. I'd like to point out that discussing locked topics is ALSO against the TOS.

2. Warnings HAVE, in fact, been issued. I issued a general warning on the thread, AND warnings were issued to individuals. As such, that is what is within my power as a moderator to do. I cannot force someone to apologize; however, continued antagonistic behavior from either party will be dealt with accordingly.

3. Kindly stop derailing unrelated discussions with grievances from a topic you're technically not supposed to be discussing anyway. This is getting extremely silly.

Thanks.

THREAD LOCKED


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