Feeling like you HAVE to answer questions when on the spot
I've recently been put on the spot by a friend who askd personal questions in order to catch up with me but theyre loaded questions that I feel hes looking for an answer so he can make fun of me or something.
This is just one instance of this scenario. It doesnt have to be personal questions but it usually is. I feel like im defending myself when asked these questions, like im sortof being attacked.
When answering, because he did it infront of other people and I couldnt give BS responses to get out of the question. I felt overwhelmed with other people also listening and waiting for my answer.
I HATE when im asked questions because i feel i HAVE to answer, only recently have I practiced the habit of recognizing things i dont want to respond to and being ok with not responding.
I realize its a lot different when put on the spot infront of other people and the feeling of not being able to get out of a situation like that is insane, I felt so overwhelmed and desperate to string together any sort of valid response. I still play a video of the situation in my head and get angry. I always relive social moments where i said stupid things by playing them over and over in my head throughout the day.
It´s actually very rude of your friend to drive you up the wall like that!
Unless it is a "truth"-game, where everyone can be asked personal questions, you don´t have to answer!
Learn phrases like, "that´s personal", or "I don´t think, this is the time", or "I don´t want to discuss this".
Perhaps others have better phrases for you to use.
If he´s your friend, then ask him not to do this. Some people don´t see, why others would mind questions.
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Femaline
Special Interest: Beethoven
Last edited by Jensen on 24 Aug 2014, 9:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
Unless it is a "truth"-game, where everyone can be asked personal questions, you don´t have to answer!
Learn phrases like, "that´s personal", or "I don´t think, this is the time", or "I don´t want to discuss this".
Perhaps others have better phrases for you to use.
If he´s your friend, then ask him not to do this. Some people don´t see, why others would mind questions.
NTs have a phrase that they use when questions of them become too personal or asked at the wrong times: "Oh, you know; same old stuff!" or a variation of the same. It is a great way to deflect unwanted questions without becoming to defensive. Of course, repeated questioning eventually requires more defensive replies.
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Diagnosed in 2015 with ASD Level 1 by the University of Utah Health Care Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinic using the ADOS-2 Module 4 assessment instrument [11/30] -- Screened in 2014 with ASD by using the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre AQ (Adult) [43/50]; EQ-60 for adults [11/80]; FQ [43/135]; SQ (Adult) [130/150] self-reported screening inventories -- Assessed since 1978 with an estimated IQ [≈145] by several clinicians -- Contact on WrongPlanet.net by private message (PM)
When someone asking the question has a rather mean/malicious intention in asking you a question, there really isn't any point in answering the question seriously. So you shouldn't have to be really honest in answering. It's okay if you sound a bit rude (but not angry), because it's rude of that person to ask you the question in the first place. If you are nice, some people will only take advantage of you.
I've been in that situation quite a few times. I used to feel that I had to be honest but I learned my lesson. Now I just give a BS answer or just tell the person to mind their own business.
I HATE when im asked questions because i feel i HAVE to answer, only recently have I practiced the habit of recognizing things i dont want to respond to and being ok with not responding.
2) the only time you HAVE to answer is if you are in court, under oath.
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